Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

[Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger]

Our car broke down a few weeks and will cost £2000 to repair, we simply haven’t got it at the moment and are renting a car until we can save up/get a loan. It’s obviously very difficult to save up as the renting of the car is now costing us money. My parents know this and haven’t offered to help in any way (they can afford to) even as a loan. I won’t ask them.
Would your parents see this and offer to help? (If they were able to)

My mum is incredibly kind and generous. She'd give a stranger the shirt off her back, let alone her own child. So if it was just her I'd never asked her for anything because she wouldn't say no even if it caused her hardship. My dad's a bit more pragmatic but would still look after me if I asked. The tables have only very recently turned as to who has more money, me or them. Prior to that they found ways to bung us money over the years in very gracious ways.
I'm aware they are not standard though.

I totally agree with you, if you can help, do help. But I have always strived to be self sufficient. We don’t vocalise what we will do for our kids. Make them work and save. DD saved car insurance money and is ready to rock to pay it, but we will pay when the time comes. I always know that if the shit hit the fan my parents would help. I don’t need help ( thank god). I just couldn’t imagine being in your situation and having wealthy parents and them not helping. We both have good jobs but at holiday time/ Christmas or any big events I get a lovely envelope of 💴 💴 under my pillow🥰
They drive me insane at times but at the end of the day I am good to them and they are good to me. My Dad said last week there are no tow bars on a hearse. He can’t take his money with him!

@Pin0cchio What? We won’t be pensioners when she needs her first car?
I’m talking about helping out with repairs and I’ve no idea what situation she’ll be in as an adult, we all hit high and low points in our lives for various reasons and if she needs us to help and make her life easier/less stressful and we can, I wouldn’t hesitate.

Once I had left university I did not consider asking my DPs for money. They would have done their best to help me if I had asked but I was lucky enough not to have any major financial disasters . Full disclosure, I am quite old and they did contribute to our wedding.

Of course each situation is different but based on normal family and parents who could easily afford to help out it baffles me they don't.

Life is a blink of an eye. Why have 2 grand sat in a bank when it could make a huge difference to your life??

It sounds like you don't ask ever and won't this time.

Although gone now, my parents would have offered the moment they though we might be in a tight squeeze and as long as they were aware, they would never wait for us to ask.

In fact they were always incredibly generous.
Whenever we visited (at least weekly) they always insisted on giving us "petrol money", even when I was in my 50's with the mortgage paid off and planning a comfortable early retirement! Of course the amount of money they gave was far more than the actual fuel cost, it was just their way.
Whenever we were looking at getting a new car or OH was changing his motorcycle for a new one, they would offer to give us a few £k so we could "get a higher spec model".
If we were doing something to the house they would always ask if we could afford it or whether we needed "some help" despite them knowing that we were very comfortably off.
They were always very supportive and if anything was given, it was made very clear that it was a gift and repayment was not required.

In fact this almost caused a problem when my Ddad died.
A couple of weeks before his (unexpected) death both he and my Dmum gave us a very expensive item as a gift (talking value of £40k+). With his death it looked as if it might be liable to IT but on checking the will it was found that the item was due to be passed to me anyway so the solicitor said it was ok.

I don’t ask them for money. Bought my own cars since 17, bought our house without help, no help with wedding, repairs..nothing

@Nourishinghandcream how lovely, you are /were very lucky.

Exactly 🙄🤦‍♀️😩

• what's wrong with parents who can afford it see their money benefit their children whilst alive.

@PuttingOutFirewithGasoline I don’t ask, no, I don’t like asking. But if I saw Dd needed it, I’d just offer, I wouldn’t want her to have to ask

I always earned more than my parents from when I started working so no. However they are very generous so if they had the money and I didn’t, they would help out.

I am not from the generation or type of background where people were given house deposits and I read it a lot on here and it is completely alien to me. Same with inheritances and people expecting a lot of money or wanting it upfront or thinking a will is unfair.

But you clearly do expect it, or why would you post in AIBU? 😂

No, my parents wouldn’t offer to help me as a grown adult.

I hope to be able to help my dc but if I truly couldn't afford it I would be open and tell them

@SeismicSalad No, it’s just not how I will bring up my Dd and the same mindset I have, seems strange to me.

Yeah if mine knew I couldn't pay the repairs and I was having to rent they'd jump straight in and say give me the bill and pay me when you can. However I've not been in a situation like that, but I know they'd help if needed.

Be careful of how much you're planning on doing for your DD though, too much doesn't give the right message.

Hmm. I think they probably would actually but they have a bit of an odd attitude to our finances I think. On the one hand, my DH regularly asks if we are ok for money and my DM seems to think we are broke. Otoh they always are asking us to go to on holidays or meals out or suggesting us to take the kids places etc that we just don't have the budget for, and we tell them this and why!

I wouldn't take money off them even if they offered unless I was really desperate though and then I'd be paying it back as soon as I could. They're pretty wealthy, and generous with us - with things like gifts, holidays, paying for meals out, buying us random bits etc. But we like to stand on our own two feet, I'd feel very uncomfortable taking a large sum of money off them and would only do it in an emergency.

My lovely Mum died 10 years ago,very suddenly but even now we laugh that if there was an envelope over her fireplace she was treating my family to something.
My Mum got so much pleasure out of treats towards me and my family,I do the same now ,and grateful that I can .

No, you're a grown up.. you shouldn't be relying on your parents. It's a bit embarrassing you'd even expect that

Same here. Honestly, I'd be a bit embarrassed to ask, so it would very much be a last resort after exploring every other option.

I was about to write the exact same thing

No. Not my parents they don’t have much and I just couldn’t take it from them knowing that. They wouldn’t offer anyway
my in laws would offer, but again 2k is a massive amount imo
hope you get it sorted op

My dad has never contributed a penny to my life and my mum hasn't done anything beyond provide the bare essentials until I left at 18. No neither would ever offer me 2k. Now, if you asked my brother you'd get a different answer.

I don’t think my parents would help, no. That being said, I would help my children, and I expect a part of that is because I know what it’s like to not have help. I wouldn’t let my children struggle unnecessarily.

Yes. My parents are very well off and I am very much not. They have so much money and live a fairly basic life so they are able to help me. I had an emergency home repair situation recently which I put on credit card and when my mum asked about it I told her, and she gave me the money to pay it. Literally small change for her but would have taken me months and months to pay off.