Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

[Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger]

Our car broke down a few weeks and will cost £2000 to repair, we simply haven’t got it at the moment and are renting a car until we can save up/get a loan. It’s obviously very difficult to save up as the renting of the car is now costing us money. My parents know this and haven’t offered to help in any way (they can afford to) even as a loan. I won’t ask them.
Would your parents see this and offer to help? (If they were able to)

No.
They have given me nothing financially, emotionally, physically or otherwise since I was 16.
They couldn’t give a shiny shite about me and my troubles.
I do know that they help out my sibling a lot thpugh.

My dad wouldn’t, my mom would at least give at least something to help out. I would help my DD if she needed it but she has much more money in savings than I do - I would actually need her to help me out 😂

No. My parents paid for my £5k wedding and that is the only financial gift I have been given by them. ILs have been more generous over the years but I would never ask for money.

We were and we (OH and I) truly realised that.
My parents were very much of the mindset that children (even middle-aged children) are their responsibility and if they were in a position to help (whether asked or not), they would.
They were always dumbfounded when they heard of parents unwilling (not unable) to help their offspring.

Yes if they saw me struggling they would help. They helped us financially when we were finding our feet. My parents became successful financially when I was an adult so they are keen to share what we didn’t have growing up.

my DHs parents would also help if they saw us in need. They don’t have a lot so we would likely refuse help if we could. We’ve helped out SIL a fair bit, just to get her up on her feet with a house. It’s what family is about for us. We’ll all need to rely on each other for something at some point, not necessarily financial.

Not all families work the same though.

It depends on the situation, but yes if I was stick and didn't have access to cash that was needed quickly they would lend me the money until I was in a position to pay it back. Which I always would and have previously.

My parents (dead) and PIL absolutely would and do help. It’s not expected but very much appreciated. I would also help my children if I was able to.

@Nourishinghandcream

Children didn't ask to be brought into this world, I also see them as a life long responsibility.
And as pp said it can go both ways, who knows what will be fall any of us

My parents wouldn't know about it.

But if they did know - yes, they probably would help, if asked.

@Trasania 😮
They do seem annoying

My mum bought me a set of three saucepans and a cook book before I left for college. That was it. 😁

Yes I would. I've just given my daughter £5000 to help her out. I pay half her car finance and paid for nearly everything in her new flat.
I love helping my children if I'm able to

I earn more part time than my parents do full time. I'd never ask them for money. I have no doubt that if I asked they would attempt to help. Whenever we visit my mum cooks me food she then preps in tubs for me to stick in the freezer for when one of the kids is ill or I don't want to cook. That's her way of helping me right there.

I see my job as a parent to support them as children, encourage then in their education, jobs, training and support them emotionally so they grow into mature, thoughtful people. I want to give them all the skills to be independent adults and once they get there I expect them to manage their own lives. I hope to be able to help with advice, childcare and treats but no I wouldn't expect to pay their bills.

They absolutely wouldn’t.
My mum would help if I asked but unless I was at the point where I couldn’t feed my kids I’d never ask for a penny for anyone. I’ve got too much pride but I’d swallow that for my kids.

To answer the OP’s question, yes, but my parents have the mindset that their money is no use to them when they’re dead and that so long as they are not leaving themselves short they prefer to see what they’ve got being used to help us out now if we need it.
All of us at one time or another have borrowed money from them which we’ve paid back over timescales we can afford but we’ve also received unasked for and very generous handouts towards hefty repairs, big purchases or holidays.

.

My dad is dead and my mother barely talks to me

I’m in the same situation just now OP, my car broke down last week, I started a new job this week and i need a car for it so I’ve been hiring a car to get to work. I found out my car is basically unfixable and my mum and step dad offered to pay the outstanding finance on it so I could buy a new car, it was £3000! I’ve never been offered money or anything by them before so it was a massive shock. I actually declined the offer as I felt so uncomfortable about it but they paid it into my bank account anyway so I have just thanked them profusely. Although I didn’t want to accept it I actually cried with relief as i thought I would have to give up my job without a car.

Yes my Dad would help. He's not wealthy but has given me several cash gifts down the years, no strings attached. I am very lucky.

This is also my attitude.
My Mum gave me her jewellery when she was still alive as she wanted the pleasure of seeing me wearing it. I have recently passed it on to DD for the same reason.
I'd do anything to ease my DCs path through life.

There is a difference between helping to launch your teen into adulthood and continuing to finance your adult offspring. Helping with initial expenses like driving lessons, a first car, and university is just normal parenting. If people can afford those things, they pay for them.

after university, an adult should be able to support themselves unless something unusual
happens.

I know my sibling and my husband’s sibling both have asked our respective parents for financial assistance at times as adults and received it. So our parents are open to helping if necessary. I don’t think they just offered though. The siblings had to ask for the money.

My adult dd can support herself not a bother.
I still help her out.
It is possible to have adult children who can support themselves and be the kind of parent who sends money, buys things, pays for trips or Taylor tickets.
Its called kindness. Wtf is wrong with people that think that shldnt happen because people turn 18.

Dm yea
IL - no - dh has borrowed in the past (as they’d lent his sibling some money) we paid every penny back - sibling didn’t and had it as a gift.

we wouldn’t ask them though :) - now

I dont like taking it, but our circumstances have changed financially this year and it has been helpful. *thanks mortgage repayments

DS absolutely can support himself, pay his bills, etc - he’s 25, I’d expect nothing less.

I still chip in for anything unexpected, or share if I’ve had a wee windfall

he’s a grown up, yes, but why wouldn’t I want to make his life a little easier if I can?

Yes, mine have been very, very generous in the past without me even asking. Now they are retiring and their income is dropping significantly, I will be helping them loads in turn.

What's family for if not to be there for you (and I don't just mean financially)?

Edit: Actually, now I think about it my in laws won't help. At all. But DH also takes zero responsibility for them. I find it weird, personally.