Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

[Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger]

Our car broke down a few weeks and will cost £2000 to repair, we simply haven’t got it at the moment and are renting a car until we can save up/get a loan. It’s obviously very difficult to save up as the renting of the car is now costing us money. My parents know this and haven’t offered to help in any way (they can afford to) even as a loan. I won’t ask them.
Would your parents see this and offer to help? (If they were able to)

Nope - they're both dead. As people tend to do.

Nope and I wouldn’t want them to. I had a car issue in Jan and had to use my credit card which I’ve now budgeted to pay off. I’m an adult and fund myself in the same way I expect my son to when he has moved out and is working etc

No because they simply never had the money.

To be honest I’d say a car was more of a necessity than a dishwasher if needed to get to work/school/grocery shopping etc

@DistinguishedSocialCommentator I think a car is needed by most people more than a dishwasher 🙈
We need a car for work, no public transport nearby

My parents would help, yes. I hope I can do the same with my children in time, too.

Yes it is. But I do know he’d help me with a car too because he has in the past :)
Hes always helping myself and siblings out we are very lucky. I hope to do the same
for my own children.

@Firkinhavinalaugh I feel the same

No - it's not their responsibility, it would be mine.

If I was desperate I suppose could ask, but I haven't since my early 20s (not even for my wedding, which we paid for). I think I'd be too embarrassed to ask!

Speaking as a parent I do help my adult children with car costs ,holidays etc .
I do it because they never ask and appreciate . Unfortunately we cannot help with big money ie £40000 for house deposit. We are fairly comfortable but not wealthy.
Have just given one child £1500 towards a holiday and another is coming on a long haul trip and we are paying the accommodation/ flight but child will pay for car hire and meals out . Still benefitting but appreciates our help.
My children are lovely and as a Mum I am grateful ,and happy to help them all.

Just to say I definitely don’t expect it at all…o just think I would offer if it was Dd when older and we could afford it no problem. I hope to always help her.

And if they were alive and I felt they could afford to loan/give me some urgent money, I'd ask them, rather than quietly seethe. They'd be no more psychic whether they were alive or dead.

No.

My mum (dad was dead) didn't even help when my DD and I had fled domestic violence.

About two years later after the divorce was finalised and we'd got everything sorted out she did say "if you ever need money.."

I'm very clear with my kids that if they need money ask and I will help as much as I can. I don't want to be my mum.

My parents definitely would help us.
My in laws definitely would not.

"Necessity" my left foot. Those who chose to live in very rural area, may but but a necessity it is not for the vast majority. Its more a case of making ones life easier rather than necessity!!

So why did you start this thread? Better re-title it "Parents should be mind readers".

I’d need to ask, but if she knew I was short of money she’d offer.

@DistinguishedSocialCommentator We need a car to work. We don’t live in the U.K., there is no public transport nearby, it would mean very expensive Ubers every day. For us to get to work, it’s a necessity.

And anyone can wash up so a dishwasher is absolutely NOT a necessity 🙄

We’ll always help our children financially if they need it but we’re in the very fortunate position to be able to do that. We love to be able to treat our children to holidays, short breaks, days out and if needed unforeseen expenses. They never expect it and know they can come to ask if they need help.

Nope. Mine stopped buying me anything or paying for anything once i got a pt job at 16.
Nothing. If i was short of busfare to school i walked.
I have 3 adult dds and give them money, buy them things, help them out and treat them all the time.
I actually cant imagine seeing one of them struggle with money/car issues, having the means to help, and doing nothing.
Id just send the money.

@RemarkablyBrightCreature Exactly. We don’t have a dishwasher, I’ve never considered that a necessity at all

I think op the thing is, it wouldn't occur to my parents that i wouldnt be able to afford /manage to budget a normal expense like car repairs unless there was some circumstance meaning i was unusually hard up - i or DH being made redundant, or being on maternity leave etc

If I actually asked them to help they would, but would be a bit surprised that I'd had no options but to go to them cap in hand. I'd usually sort it myself some other way - using savings, selling stuff, using a credit card etc - asking them would be a bit of a last resort.

They always say just ask if you're ever stuck- because I've had to borrow in a dire emergency and they have always got it back as promised. They have also gifted us food etc if we've been struggling even though we've never asked

Yes, my in laws do. For example we had a MOT fail due to some unexpected damage and they paid and also when we had a household incident. If we can we pay them back but sometimes they don’t take it.
we never ask but don’t turn down the offer.