Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

[Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger]

Our car broke down a few weeks and will cost £2000 to repair, we simply haven’t got it at the moment and are renting a car until we can save up/get a loan. It’s obviously very difficult to save up as the renting of the car is now costing us money. My parents know this and haven’t offered to help in any way (they can afford to) even as a loan. I won’t ask them.
Would your parents see this and offer to help? (If they were able to)

Mine would and have. And I’ve helped out sisters when I could & vice Versa and basically everyone in my family helps out whenever they can. Nobody asks but if anyone can help When someone’s in a situation then it is offered. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t. But that’s just what works for us.

Millions manage without dishwashers as well. But there are plenty on sale on Facebook marketplace under £50

I know its not the point of the thread, however how much is the car worth whilst in this state? You've be better off buying a cheap 2nd hand car than throwing money down the drain renting one and spending 2k fixing the other

This is bonkers! Isn't a dishwasher a luxury not a necessity? Obviously nice of them, but buying paper plates instead of just washing stuff in a sink!?

Pride / self respect same thing. However it's very easy to say "No I wouldn't ask or take money" When you can afford not to.

Sometimes life has a habit of kicking people when they are down. A huge percentage of people in the UK are only 3 or 4 months away from a crisis.

A period of unemployment either through redundancy or illness and living off benefits then the savings run out then what?

Or a partnership ending, either through death or someone walking away leaving the remaining party struggling to make ends meet.

Pride comes before a fall.

There is no way I wouldn't offer to help. I certainly wouldn't sit by and watch adult DC struggle when I can help. My parents would not have done that to me either . We are family and help each other out.

Btw - love all these snotty remarks about a car being 'a luxury' . Are people aware that we don't all live in London with excellent public transport . For many of us a car is an absolute necessity. My nearest shop is 7 miles away and the bus comes on Tuesday and Thursday once a day. Without a car I would not be able to care for disabled DH or go to work.

Yes my mum offers help all the time but 99% of the time I turn her down. However when I was a widowed mum I accepted more than I do now, for obvious reasons. She is always paid back but like I said, but I have to be rock bottom before I accept, through stubbornness and pride I guess.

There's nothing wrong with accepting a helping hand in a crisis. Ignore all the sanctimonious posters on here, pontificating about how "adults so no, of course not" Nonsense! Half of them will have had their house deposit loaned from a parent! That is so common that mortgage companies/banks have a process specifically for that.

My parents both worked full time my entire childhood and owned their home and two vehicles. Yet they still had my GM help out three times with large purchases/costs. Once with a repair and twice with appliance purchases. All paid back. These were unexpected circumstances that couldn't be budgeted for as they weren't in a position to have savings. They had credit cards but presumably my GM's help was to avoid interest?

What a horrible, cold attitude. And they say blood is thicker than water....

Also, you do realise that not everyone can "stick it on a credit card" don't you? My highest limit is £500 so a £2,000 repair bill like OP's would decline!

My DPs would never have just offered but had I gone and asked ie instead of going for a bank loan I know they would have given me it, I WOULD pay it back though.
If our DS was having issues as in your case I would say if we can help just let us know. Occasionally we might give some extra cash 'just because' but normally it loans that he pays back.

That’s not the situation in the OP find herself, it’s not starvation level need. It’s difficult for him/her, but not impossible. So my opinion is unchanged.

Neither of us have been helped.

I have helped my sisters by buying white goods and stuff like a prescription certificate. Not loans they are gifts, to say my life is different to theirs is an understatement. They were grafters but remained in our home area most of their lives in poorly paid care and retail work. All retired now as 13 to 20 years older than me.

DS is already on quite a decent degree apprenticeship wage of almost 30k per annum. He probably won’t need help beyond house deposit but due to inheritance tax we will offer to pay for some items.

We grew up poor but my parents had really done their best to claw themselves out of dire poverty, so even though we didn't have much we were still better off than they had been as children. My grandparents house was bombed during the war and they lost everything they owned. There's never been any money or inheritances to be passed on.

I think maybe because of that they were always generous when they could be, my mum especially would give anyone her last penny because she knew what it was like to have absolutely nothing. My MIL can remember checking down the sides of the sofa after guests had left, because finding a few pence might mean a loaf of bread that day.

Wouldn’t wanna be one of your kids🙄

@UsernameRedacted I definitely think people who have been poor, counting every penny, are much more generous than people who have never needed to worry about money.

How often do you have these disasters, OP?
If you’re living paycheque to paycheque, think about how to build up an emergency fund once you’ve got your car back, if you’re not going to ask your parents, or you do and they won’t help.
You need to aim to have more than three month’s worth of your expenses - before you save for holidays Etc. Start ASAP, you’ll be amazed at how quickly even small amounts add up.
We did this in our 30’s and built up the EF in just over a year…

Unable to have children.
I do have parents, which what the OP was asking.

We have two adult children. Eldest on six figure salary, younger career on the up now but has struggled in the past. We have helped out with car purchase and rent/council tax. But we ensure they each get the same regardless of income… to be fair. They are very appreciative And don’t take it for granted. It is pleasing to be able to help.