Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

[Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger]

Our car broke down a few weeks and will cost £2000 to repair, we simply haven’t got it at the moment and are renting a car until we can save up/get a loan. It’s obviously very difficult to save up as the renting of the car is now costing us money. My parents know this and haven’t offered to help in any way (they can afford to) even as a loan. I won’t ask them.
Would your parents see this and offer to help? (If they were able to)

No. My mother probably would have until we were 25 or so.

Mine are dead now but they were always giving us money. The older they got, the more money they off-loaded.

One of my sisters was less well off than the rest of us and my parents were always helping them even more. They bought her every car and household appliance she ever owned.

Yes absolutely if they could. I don't understand parents who'd watch their kids even as adults struggle for something as essential as a car repair if they had means to offer help.

I just name change every time they do it. I’m surprised MN haven’t banned them yet tbh.

Thats quite sad tbh.
Theres no shame in needing help.

It’s hard for families nowadays. The cost of living, mortgage rates, childcare etc. In an ideal world there would be savings etc for emergencies, but reality isn’t like that as everything costs so much just to get from one month to the next.
If your children work hard and are doing their best, I would find it sad that parents wouldn’t help out if they are in a position to do so. It seems cold and mean not to. That is what families are about. Being there for each other.

Yep and I’m 56🥴.
It usually happens when my db (54) has made another cock up with his life and they’ve had to bail him out again. My parents used to pay for odd things unnecessarily, for example we were buying a 2nd hand car & they gave 2k towards it or paying the outstanding balance on our kitchen.
It happens every 2-5years and varying amounts. All very nice & never asked for but I could never work out why. It was my dh who worked out what was going on.
I used to get cross about my db needing bailouts but I justify it: my parents can afford it now, my db needs their help, they make it equal.
Plus db has a life limiting condition (self inflicted by his own admission) so it’s unlikely he’ll ever get his share of an inheritance. Although dm is starting to show signs of dementia so no doubt he’ll get to avoid dealing with that too.
That said we’re in the process of moving house and my dad has offered the extra 75k so we won’t need a mortgage.
We also would help our children out financially without them having to ask.

My family never helped us financially. My in laws did once we paid it back. My BIL had no children so helped ours out.

We're helping out now.

Pay it forward.

I don't see the point in waiting till we're gone when our children are in the most expensive time of their lives.

I would automatically help my adult children if I could. I would also expect them to ask if I hadn't noticed.

No, I actually help them with money. They haven't given me any money since I finished uni.

I would ask and they would always say yes. But, I have an excellent track record for paying them and before them my grandparents back - always early or on time - and have done since my grandad got my first car for me! Paid him back every week like clockwork. They also offer when I haven’t asked.

If I was unreliable I doubt they’d lend me money at all tbh.

No, and if they did, I wouldn’t take it.

I helped out my mum for many years. She was so bad with money I had to give her a weekly allowance though.

I paid for her holidays abroad to Europe, america. Paid for new decor in all her flats.

She was champagne tastes, beer money 🙈

No. My dad is a tenant farmer on a state pension. I am a higher rate tax payer with decent savings. I would be fucking embarrassed to take any money from him.

I often take him and his lartner out for dinner or use Christmas and Birthdays to buy them little luxuries they wouldn't otherwise afford.

Mine would definitely offer to help as would my husbands

My parents regularly give my siblings money but never me. I’ve never been able to work out why that is.

Even if they could afford it and you badly needed it for your family??

So you don’t need fucking ‘helping out’ as I the post title 🙄

Well I dunno, plenty of people on higher incomes than mone seem to expect help from their parents.

I'm surprised so many parents can help people out. Did you all grow up in well off families?

Do you help your parents and siblings out if they need it?

Yes, my parents helped get my boiler fixed and also my car. There was no way I could afford either but I never asked they offered. They've offered to pay for my divorce, I've said no I married the prick and he has to pay half.

This is absolutely my parents attitude. Their house is valuable and they think what’s the point of holding onto cash only to have it taxed at 40% when we die. They’ve also said before that they are sure we will get more out of having it now than we will later (probably true) & they want to do things with us or see us benefit from using whatever money they give us.
I think it would really upset my dad in particular if one of the kids or grandkids needed help but wouldn’t accept him giving it (whether that was money, childcare, practical assistance at the house whatever).

No my Dad was a tradesman my mum a book keeper.

However they were both very careful with money and aimed to save a little every month.
Nothing was replaced unless it desperately needed it.

That sounds more like pride than self respect to me to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️