Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

[Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger]

Our car broke down a few weeks and will cost £2000 to repair, we simply haven’t got it at the moment and are renting a car until we can save up/get a loan. It’s obviously very difficult to save up as the renting of the car is now costing us money. My parents know this and haven’t offered to help in any way (they can afford to) even as a loan. I won’t ask them.
Would your parents see this and offer to help? (If they were able to)

Same here. Just happy to help. Consider myself fortunate that I can …within reason.

I’m not rural at all but the bus service in my area is very limited (one an hour and none at the weekend) and I wouldn’t have been able to get to my work on time. Nearest train station is a 45 minute walk. And I can’t cycle owing to bring in a bad accident which left me traumatised.

But washing dishes by hand is something literally everyone can do!

@echt But they do know we’re struggling to pay it, so the title shouldn’t be called that.

Exactly!
I've managed without a dishwasher for the past 20 years but without a car I cannot work

@FrancisSeaton @Pippa246 😂I know right

Oh here we go again 🙄 The Distinguished Social Commenter has spoken 😂

OP check with the garage as a lot of garages allow you to pay in instalments now, would save you renting a car as the rental money would be your repair instalment.

Answering your original question, yes my parents would help me out with money if they can and they have in the past

That poster is known for not living in the real world

My Mum gave me £5k towards my new ( used) car last year….didn’t ask her she just transferred the money…..she’s 87 and I’m 59 and certainly not on the bones of my arse….she just likes to help out…..if she didn’t have money I wouldn’t take it…..she grew up with not much but in her 70s downsized then got x 3 inheritances so is very comfortable now
ive just paid for my DD 30 and her family’s flights for holiday this year and will paid for my son 32 to go to Amsterdam with his Dad…..I have it ….so I like to treat them ….when I stop working I may not be able to be so generous

My DH would ask his parents age they would just pay it. I'm not entirely comfortable with this though they definitely can afford it. They are currently paying our mortgage as Dh is out if work.

My parents would loan me the money....except there's none to loan as I already loaned what they'd put aside. Paying them back monthly.

Could you ask for a loan? At last then you wouldn't have to rent a car.

That's not the same as knowing that you want them to give/loan them some money. They might well be thinking that it's all a bit tight but you're fundamentally OK. Or you should just bung it on the credit card. Or they could have financial issues they choose not to talk about.

Just ask them.

@Doteycat Yes, similar, there have been a few times, like money for Christmas and so on. My grandparents (mum’s side) have given her money years ago for a new washing machine, a new car and so on.
My view is that I’m setting life up for our Dd and If we’re able in the future, we’ll try to help her out with university (if she goes) or a car or flat deposit, we’d do this probably by selling and downsizing..my parents just never did any of this or thought in this way, no savings accounts for us, nothing. Maybe it was just a different time and parents nowadays think more like this 🤷🏻‍♀️

We paid for all our teenagers to learn to drive and bought their first car for them.We then paid substantial amounts towards their weddings, so they could have a lovely day, but not luxurious sillyness either.
We have paid a few tradesmen bills for them and new appliances when they were struggling.
Now they’re doing well and don’t need any financial help, but if they did and we had the means to help them we certainly would do.Why not, they’re our kids even if adults and we care about them.

Yes mine would. Maybe they feel you might be offended so are waiting for you to ask?

Is there anything particular driving your not being able to afford it? Do you & dp both work full time?

Do they truly know you have no other options? They honestly probably don't realise how hard up you are. If you really are on the bones of your arse just ask.

My dad would have, he died some time ago.

My mum - no chance. She stopped buying me birthday presents at 18 because I was too old. She’s VERY tight fisted though and if she is visiting me and pops to buy milk for example I’ll be expected to give her the £1.50 (but she will stay a week and contribute nothing)

My ILs would give us the shirts off their back, and are wonderful

My parents wouldn’t offer probably but would definitely say yes if I asked.
MIL would likely offer if we mentioned it.

Never got a dime off my folks OR DH's. (They were all not well off financially.) I think people struggling, and having no parental help financially, is much more common than people struggling financially and being bankrolled by parents.

YABU @Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger Stand on your own two feet, like most people have to.

Yes my parents have recently - about £3k they know I'm struggling as a single parent even though I have a very good professional job but cost of living and childcare is killing me and I just don't have spare money of a big repair bill comes in

My parents do. Our car died recently and we were discussing needing a new one. They knew we could afford a new one, but offered us money towards it as they had it spare. We said they should spend it on something nice for themselves but a big chunk of money appeared in my account anyway. And it did mean we could then buy a bigger car with room for them as well (they don’t drive now).
I know I’m really very lucky. Their attitude is that me and my sibling will have it one day so they’d rather see us make use of it now. It’s how I’ll be with my children, if I can make their lives easier I will. I don’t understand why any parent wouldn’t do the same.

As an adult I wouldn't expect help like that no but I would be very touched if they offered out of the blue.

Well they wouldn't know without my asking so ....? They readily help when I ask.

Yes. DDad is comfortably off, and has budgeted well. He's bought one off items for our house eg oven as a housewarming present, helped with difference between loan and full loan when DC were at university, and loaned us part of the deposit on our first house 30 years ago (then stopped cashing the repayment cheques after a few months, which we were definitely not expecting). He is generous at birthdays and Christmas too - telling me to book a night away on the money he gives me. He'd rather see us enjoy some of his money now, rather than wait until we inherit. Definitely some IHT planning, but not deprivation of assets.

We gave our kids a few thousand each when they bought their first car. This was on the basis of a pleasant surprise but this was subject to our criteria - ie we only did this as they bought the cars for cash. If it had ben HP/etc, then we would not have gotten a penny. FYI, they never asked and if they asked it would be a no

In recent years we gave away several hundred k's to all three of them, two got a lot less as they are in the top 5, if not top 3% if the highest paye earners - they all refused initially - if they had asked, we would had said no

We never expected a penny from anyone and nor did we get it as mum die when I was young dad remiarrried and when he died he was comfortable financial wise - his own detached house before he met his new wife, mt step mum and had kids lus he had a couple of hundred k's in cash and investments - my OH, parent had fell out with my OH and all moneies went to other siblings, close to 1.5 mill about 10 years ago - we were both happy with that

We are not rich but financially comfortable and do look after our money but we have spent loads on cars and spent loads on our property but not as lavishly as with cars

We feel proud of ourselves and our kids as we behaved like our parents wanted to and our kids like us, IE, don't try to run before you can walk

Do you really think your DD as an adult will need a pensioner parent to buy her a car?

She'll have a job and her own salary. You'll probably find she sorts out her own car before you do!