To hate having stupidly small breasts?

[RubyTuesday10]

I know at my age (45) I probably should have stopped caring but I have been so unhappy with my body my whole life. My breasts never developed properly- I’m an a cup and almost completely flat, I’m not even a slim build. My whole life I have never felt sexy or like a proper woman. I detest my body so much I want to hide it under baggy clothes.

My husband doesn’t criticise me but over the years he’s bought men’s magazines, looked at women on the internet- all with massive breasts, because that’s what men like- no man desires a flat chested woman. He’s now become besotted with a busty country singer and I feel the old feelings of worthlessness again. Feel so disgusted with my stupid body I scratch it sometimes.

It seems so unfair that every other woman gets to look nice, have a cleavage, be desirable but I’ll never get to have that. Have always been too broke and too scared to undergo surgery but sometimes I wish I’d been able to. I cry about how I look and have done all my life. Am I the only person on earth who feels this way? Please don’t flame me for being ungrateful for a healthy body, I am not intentionally being ungrateful and really can’t help how I feel.

That was just an example to show that small breasts can be sexy.

So it's not your small breasts that you are sad about? It's your body frame/face too?

Have you considered counselling? And also could your husband have said anything through the years to make you feel this way? Does he compliment your appearance?

Here, here!

Mine are actually the bane of my life.

Norks 🤣🤣🤣

Thanks everyone for your kind comments, every single one is appreciated. Am certainly going through a low phase and it means a lot to know there are people out there who will take a moment to listen and reassure. DH isn’t bad, he does say kind things but I still remember the images he looked at in the past and probably hold onto that too much as a reason to beat myself up. I think therapy probably is a better and more affordable solution than surgery but it has been really interesting to hear how much difference surgery can make. I guess there’s pros and cons to all sizes and we all have our mental battles, even the women who seem to have it all. Thank you again x

Thecatistheboss · Today 08:55
I’m a j cup and 5’1 all my life I’ve had jokes weekly on the size of my boobs and never my face just my boobs, the back pain is beyond belief. Nothing wrong with a small chest, I’m sure you look amazing. My ex husband likes small boobs, to the point he start saving so I could have a reduction, not for me for him - I did not. Your husband is an insensitive prick”

Please try to get a referral to a breast surgeon from your GP. The pressure on your shoulders and spine will be damaging you bit by bit. even with the NHS as it is, you may well find that your trust still has a budget for medically justified reductions.

Backpain costs the country billions in lost working days every year.

If a large breasted woman came on and said that she didn't like her breasts, nobody would sneer at small boobs in the same way.

People definitely do self-depreciate to make others feel better, it's human nature. I can laugh about how I look if it makes someone else feel less alone in their feelings.

It's not a big boob vs small boob debate. It's a "the grass isn't always greener, I have downsides too" thing.

MrsSkylerWhite · Today 18:26
Thecatistheboss · Today 08:55
I’m a j cup and 5’1 all my life I’ve had jokes weekly on the size of my boobs and never my face just my boobs, the back pain is beyond belief. Nothing wrong with a small chest, I’m sure you look amazing. My ex husband likes small boobs, to the point he start saving so I could have a reduction, not for me for him - I did not. Your husband is an insensitive prick”

Please try to get a referral to a breast surgeon from your GP. The pressure on your shoulders and spine will be damaging you bit by bit. even with the NHS as it is, you may well find that your trust still has a budget for medically justified reductions.

Backpain costs the country billions in lost working days every year

I was someone who was very conscious of big breasts on a small frame for years and then lost them both to breast cancer in their early 30's. I didn't have reconstruction, well because it's grim so I will have even less than you.

The comment "no man desires a flat chested woman" really? I can't say that my husband has any issues with my lack of boobage nowadays absolutely far from it. I do worry comments like these put the fear into women who are diagnosed with breast cancer that their husbands will leave them by them losing a breast/S. Some too but not every man is obsessed by them

I get that, but there were one or two comments from small chested women about larger breasts which made me roll my eyes a bit. I suppose I'm quite lucky in that my breasts are a very average size, they are 'large' by cup size but because I have a very small band size, they are not actually all that large: I certainly don't get sagging or back pain. I just wanted the OP not to feel bad if she does indeed go for surgery to make her feel a bit more confident.

Small boob club here. Your husband sounds shit. Does he say anything positive?

Comments I've had - more than a handful is a waste. Other than that, nothing negative.

Positives - can sleep on my front.

Things that help:

1. Properly fitted bras, I really like Bella Rosa Lingerie.

1. Lifting weights, many many fitness models don't have big breasts but are strong, fit and sexy. Have a look at 50 Fitness Journey on Instagram.

1. Progesterone only pill.

I apologise sincerely. The original post was written when I was emotional and wasn’t thought through. I should have worded this to say that I don’t believe men would find me attractive, I should not have generalised about the attractiveness of all women with small/no breasts. I would never want to ever make a woman feel bad if she has had to had her breast/s removed and I hope you can accept my apology.

I’m a size 6/8 with DDs and yes they make me look fat! Good for you if yours don’t but I’m sick of the way mine look in clothes in particular! Can’t wait to have a reduction.

I understand completely where your coming from OP, I've always been chubby as a kid and bigger as an adult but am very small breasted which makes me angry and sad that I feel like I've always had just a fat kids body, I've never grown into a woman even though I'm 37 🙄 I don't want enormously comical/fake porn breasts but just something thats in proportion with the rest of me would be nice, clothes/bras would fit so much nicer. It's really shit of your husband to look at/seek out images of big breasted women knowing how self conscious you feel about your own, how would he like it if you started obsessing over images of men with large penis's? Bet he wouldn't like it one bit

I’m sorry but what does your husbands body look like?! Sounds like he’s loves you as you are just like you love him x

You've nothing to apologise for. Your feelings are entirely valid I just see things from a slightly different angle. As I say, no need to apologise ♥️

Always been 32AAA here & post menopausal
Have learnt to live with them& buy v padded bras from.little women who are fabulous

Loads of people have small breasts. It's perfectly normal. Mine have always been small. In my 20s I used to dream of having big breasts but now I'm in my 40s I love my small breasts! They are still perky and I know they'd be sagging by now if they were big. I feel I can wear almost anything (apart from those dresses with big gaping areas for big breasts). My friend with big boobs gets really fed up that she's always bursting out of shirts and can't do them up properly.
I was always envious of my cousin's big breasts but they gave her terrible backache and she had a breast reduction.
Honestly, women are so much more than a pair of breasts.

Who shames your daughter?

Except when pregnant/BFing I was never more than a 34A, or even AA. As a teen/early 20s I really longed painfully for a cleavage.

Many years later though, I’m very thankful for having being under-endowed. I see so many women - especially older ones - with massive, flollopping great boobs, and think how horribly uncomfortable they must be.

I think you should start buying magazines and make comments about fancying younger, more good looking men than your husband- because that is what women like after all, not some aging body of a middle aged men.

And make some comments about the size of his dick