To hate having stupidly small breasts?

[RubyTuesday10]

I know at my age (45) I probably should have stopped caring but I have been so unhappy with my body my whole life. My breasts never developed properly- I’m an a cup and almost completely flat, I’m not even a slim build. My whole life I have never felt sexy or like a proper woman. I detest my body so much I want to hide it under baggy clothes.

My husband doesn’t criticise me but over the years he’s bought men’s magazines, looked at women on the internet- all with massive breasts, because that’s what men like- no man desires a flat chested woman. He’s now become besotted with a busty country singer and I feel the old feelings of worthlessness again. Feel so disgusted with my stupid body I scratch it sometimes.

It seems so unfair that every other woman gets to look nice, have a cleavage, be desirable but I’ll never get to have that. Have always been too broke and too scared to undergo surgery but sometimes I wish I’d been able to. I cry about how I look and have done all my life. Am I the only person on earth who feels this way? Please don’t flame me for being ungrateful for a healthy body, I am not intentionally being ungrateful and really can’t help how I feel.

I think you have a couple of options. Surgery, possibly. Or reframe how you see you body. Flat chested is less frumpy, less back pain, makes running and exercise easier, looks good in shirts…..The reframing is harder with your husband’s attitude though.

I am like you, but I rejoice is a healthy body everyday and that’s attractive.

I have always been very flat chested and have never worn a bra except when I was pregnant and breast feeding (and despite this I successfully breastfed 3 children). It bothered me when I was a teenager but now I love it. It is so much more comfortable, especially in hot weather, and it's great if you're a runner. Sending you best wishes and I hope you will find a way to feel happier in your body.

I wouldn't bet on it, I'm still a aa cup. Even pregnancy and breastfeeding only got be to b cup and that was just barely!

Spent my life waiting for them to develop but strangely I wouldn't consider surgery. I think I'm so used to being completely flat, all of a sudden having them might just feel odd

This - lean is fit and sexy to me. Practically every woman in a magazine has fake boobs they are perfect and don’t sit right. They aren’t normal

This. I only have medium size breasts but on a short, small frame and honestly it's a nightmare finding clothes to suit.

Can’t believe I’ve read this entire thread and no one has recommended doing weights. My chest has improved drastically since doing them three times a week. My posture is loads better, don’t have shoulder pain and now wear a b cup. It’s taken 18 months but I do look better. I feel the muscle under my breast tissue. Now just need to sort my saggy belly

I’m a j cup and 5’1 all my life I’ve had jokes weekly on the size of my boobs and never my face just my boobs, the back pain is beyond belief. Nothing wrong with a small chest, I’m sure you look amazing. My ex husband likes small boobs, to the point he start saving so I could have a reduction, not for me for him - I did not. Your husband is an insensitive prick

I have an F cup and absolutely hate having big boobs. I’ve been saving up my whole life to be able to afford a reduction. As soon as I’ve finished breastfeeding my twins and lost a bit of weight I will be booking in for the operation.

You always want what you can’t have OP, but if you are that unhappy you should definitely look at surgery.

I think the most important thing here is to address your self harming and mood OP. PLEASE speak to your GP,about this, rather than your bra size.

I'm in the ittie bitties club. I use to be same when younger, teens mostly but I embrace them now. My husband says he loves them and he's gone out with girls with big boob's I use to wonder it myself.
If my husband was acting like that it would really hurt my feelings.

You need to tell him how it's making you feel and if he continues ask yourself if you want to with someone like him. He should be giving you attention and making you feel good as a woman as that would help give you more confidence. As much as people say you need to be confident in yourself, that's true, but if your partner is acting like that it'll put a huge dent in it. Your man should make you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

I completely missed fhe reference to self-harming. Yes, speak to your GP first before you do anything.

Mine are medium and in my 40’s just rest on my belly. Hardly a lovely sight. Honestly at least your boobs won’t be in a race to get to your knees.

Your husband is a creep.

Two quick things:

1. do adults seriously 'obsess' over celebrities?! That seems so odd to me.

2. as a lesbian, just chipping in that tiny boobs are very sexy to lots of people. Hottest sex I had before meeting my wife was a with a woman many heads ago with tiny, almost flat, boobs. I remember thinking they were the single sexiest sight I'd ever seen. She wasn't super slim or athletic, and definitely an A cup at most. I found her boobs incredibly horny. 20 years later and the memory still gives me a flutter 😂

I have small breasts, spread far apart and wanted big boobs for most of my life. At 56 I almost love them. I can lie on my stomach. Big boobs often make you look heavier than you are and as someone else said can make you look frumpy. Small boobs are much easier to dress AND going braless is so comfortable 🤣

Thanks for hyping up the itty bitties 🙌😂

Now I've hit peri menopause I'm grateful for my little boobies 😂

I'm offering a different perspective, I developed at 10 years old. I was always teased and shamed

I wish i could have a reduction, people (mostly men) think I'm stupid because my breasts are big

I get treated badly because of this, women are often aggressive and men are sleazy

Why are so many people encouraging implants? Shouldn't we all be helping eachother to love ourselves and not focus on the superficial? Unnecessary surgery isn't the answer.

I find it particularly awful on a women's site, but it seems to be the thing these days to aspire to look like women in porn or TV.

I was teased and shamed throughout school and uni for having tiny breasts, as DD is shamed now. But, you know, bollocks to those who reduce women to appendages.

This.

Genuine question, as I'm interested because I also have very small boobs.

What are you seeing the GP for? I've always thought that a GP would just tell me to go away and seen a plastic surgeon using my own money if I wanted any kind of boob job done.

What can a NHS GP do? What are you hoping to get from seeing the GP?

I'm so sorry you feel low, OP. As has been said, everyone has something that they don't like about their body. For all the people mentioning envy for small breasts, there is a difference between being small breasted on a very slim frame, like a model, and having small breasts on a normal or overweight frame. The first is considered desirable by society, at least to an extent. The latter isn't especially. That's not to knock you, OP, but to say I understand where you're coming from. You're not Twiggy, you're an average woman who isn't happy with her breasts. Only you can decide if you want an augmentation: if you do, and you think that it would make you feel better, I think you should go for it.

Tbf, you do have one massive tit. Your bloody husband.

The OP has explained that she isn't slim. Small breasts are one thing on a slender frame, but on an average frame it's a different story, so the 'lovely clothes' won't necessarily look better on her than on a larger breasted woman.

I'm so sorry to read that you have been so low about this. I'm usually a proponent of self-acceptance but in your case (with the depth of distress this is causing), I wonder if surgery might be the best option. Only you will know. I would suggest going to an empathetic GP and explaining what you've said here. It may be possible to get a referral for surgery. Alternatively, why not have a consultation with a surgeon and just get information. Many private hospitals offer payment plans so that may be doable IF you decide the benefit outweighs the risk. You deserve to feel beautiful and sexy (not that I'm saying big boobs are in any way required for this).

I was self-conscious about my small boobs for years but ageing and a bit of weight gain has made them grow and I do love them now. However, despite my efforts at body-acceptance, I find myself considering labiaplasty! I don't know if I'll do it yet but I'm dating and I know the asymmetry I have there makes me self-conscious. Life is short and I sort of feel like if there's something I can do to make me feel confident enough to live more fully, I should go for it. It's a complex thing and very much depends on the individual. Good luck x