To hate having stupidly small breasts?

[RubyTuesday10]

I know at my age (45) I probably should have stopped caring but I have been so unhappy with my body my whole life. My breasts never developed properly- I’m an a cup and almost completely flat, I’m not even a slim build. My whole life I have never felt sexy or like a proper woman. I detest my body so much I want to hide it under baggy clothes.

My husband doesn’t criticise me but over the years he’s bought men’s magazines, looked at women on the internet- all with massive breasts, because that’s what men like- no man desires a flat chested woman. He’s now become besotted with a busty country singer and I feel the old feelings of worthlessness again. Feel so disgusted with my stupid body I scratch it sometimes.

It seems so unfair that every other woman gets to look nice, have a cleavage, be desirable but I’ll never get to have that. Have always been too broke and too scared to undergo surgery but sometimes I wish I’d been able to. I cry about how I look and have done all my life. Am I the only person on earth who feels this way? Please don’t flame me for being ungrateful for a healthy body, I am not intentionally being ungrateful and really can’t help how I feel.

I’ve felt similar about my tiny boobs. They got bigger as o got fat and now I’m slimming down they are more saggy. My husband couldn’t be less interested in boobs, he’s a leg man and loves my legs because I’m tall and they are really long. If I put on a dress he looks straight at my legs. I’ve often thought about surgery to make me feel better but I’ve seen cases where it’s gone wrong. Get a good lifting bra and embrace your small boobage.

Why aren't you getting on Instagram and gaping at the Magic Mike cast who are half your age? And casually leaving women's magazines about to show him what you are missing?

Honestly, by the mid 40s your crass husband should have grown out of this. The 50s are hard. Both of you won't be as hot as you used to be. That's life. Dh used to have flat abs. Now, he doesn't. I don't mention it because I am not 12.

I really understand how you feel. I'm very small. I used to cry every night. Every day I felt so bad about having tiny breasts.
I couldn't afford surgery. I had two friends who had routine surgery, one died after complications, another was very lucky to survive. My GP told me, when I had gallbladder surgery,that all surgery has risk, and I could ' die on the table".
So that made me decide not to save ip to havei implants.
Then my attitude changed. I began to realise that other people's opinions about my appearance didn't matter to me.
I can't control what other people think anyway. What one person thinks is great, others hate. Why the hell should I put myself through surgery?
So now, I don't wear a bra. Or use cosmetics.
We live in a society where women are brainwashed by constant advertising and pressure into believing that there isn't a centimetre of their body that is acceptable as it is. Every single part if you could/ should be improved. At a cost in cash and time, and feeling inadequate when we can't meet impossible standards.
So, dear OP, I'm so sorry you are feeling bad. I've been there.
There's no easy answer, you can't change the world. But you can change, little by little, your own attitude to yourself and your body.
My very best wishes to you.

Try seafolly or max cleavage swimwear!

If you didn’t get any changes in pregnancy or after birth, and had problems breastfeeding you could have IGT. It’s not that common but I’ve met women with it as I work in this area. Midwives should be aware!

This. I couldn’t risk that happening all for bigger boobs.

I had an uplift and implants after I starved my natural boobs away due to mental health issues. Best thing I’ve ever done

When I think about all the things I've ever done in my life... Worked hard to have a positive impact, pursued goals, volunteered, created art and shared it with people, birthed and doing my best to raise DC well, tried to be a good friend and partner and love the people in my life... God save me from feeling like having spent thousands giving myself fake boobs is the "best thing I've ever done".

I have small breasts. I like them more and more the older I get. Big breasts are seriously overrated; they are all disadvantage, literally the only "good" thing about them is their supposed appeal to the male gaze. Fuck that.

I used to be a 32H, hated it, hated the attention the leering looks, disgusting comments. It got better as I aged as I grew more confident. I even got comments about someone liking small breast you can cup in your hand, not udders. Bras called boulder holders. Couple of years ago I had a condition that required at the end breast reduction. Now a 32c-d, bliss.
A friend of mine was an A cup, I thought she looked great, so sleek. She got implants to a C. No idea why. Or I do have an idea why, we seem to think the grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isnt. Average is best in this case, definitely not massive. The shoulder and back pain, the grooves on your shoulders, you can´t run without putting your hand to your chest, cant wear anything that requires no bra, your breasts hurt when you run. I can´t think of any positives.

Very honestly your husband is the problem, not your tits….

I was a late developer and flat chested as a teenager. I hated it with a passion I was so un sexy in my head and it really knocked my confidence. I did later in life get a larger chest with some weight gain and honestly it made a massive difference to me.

I hate all the posters saying just love who you are, big boobs hurt your back etc. Yes while it’s true we should love yourself no matter what, I don’t blame you OP for these feelings. The issue you have is there are three options; wallow and be self conscious, try to love yourself or get implants.

@RubyTuesday10 thelittlebracompany makes sexy, tasteful lingerie for smaller breasts. Would some new underwear help?

I’ve also got very small boobs and oscillate between feeling fine about them and feeling insecure about them.

Some of my friends have made jokes about my small chest, but most men I’ve been with haven’t seemed particularly bothered (not that what other people think actually holds any importance!!)

One of my friends was a similar chest size and saved for a boob job, she’s now a DD. She likes them but is continually worrying about people thinking they look fake and wanting approval from me/her friends that they look really good. If anything it’s actually made her more insecure about other aspects of her body and now she’s having lots of other things done and is obsessive about finding things ‘wrong’ with her body. She spent most of the weekend we had together asking me to check her for cellulite, stretch marks, freckles, teeth whiteness etc. - I know this may be more of an issue with her as a person rather than her boob job, but I suppose I’m just trying to demonstrate that having a boob job hasn’t solved all of her problems like she hoped it would.

No one can tell you how you should feel about them, but just wanted to share some experiences

Sending hugs ❤️

I've always had big boobs, I don't like them but it's who I am and like so many others have already said, none of us are happy with our bodies, my big boobs (I'm a H cup) means I struggle to find pretty bra's and they cost a bloody fortune, I sometimes get back ache, in the summer I get a lovely sweat rash most weeks under the boobs which is horrible. tops don't fit properly and I have been in a pub when in my twenties and a random guy just grabbed my chest and said 'cor what a handful' then laughed (my friend grabbed his nuts and asked him if he liked it in response to his actions), had a job interview where the male interviewer just asked me questions to my chest not eye level. So we all have imperfections and moan about the boobs, the belly, the bum. I bet you are lovely and there are positives about having a smaller chest, embrace them and as for your husband, tell him how he is making you feel, as someone else said in an earlier post, would your husband have a problem if you were online scrolling through images of young fit male models with a six pack? I wish you well OP

I had tiny breasts and then suddenly after menopause they grew, then last year diagnosed with breast cancer and had Mastectomy, bugger after finally having a cleavage, one is chopped off, but hey…I’m still here thank you NHS
so don’t waste your life worrying about your boobs, in the grand scheme of things be grateful for your health.

Your husband sounds like a prick.

I too am a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Club, have had plenty of hang ups and like one PP mentioned I have to wear a bra to actually have some shape and definition, without one they’re flat! My DHs previous significant others have all been very well endowed in the boob department and yet somehow he has always made me feel like they’re the best boobs he’s ever seen. I know you shouldn’t get your confidence from a man but it sure does help matters.

And this here OP is it really.

No one has the perfect anything we’ve all got bits of ourselves we love and hate. Grass isn’t always greener is such a cliche.

I hate being fat and have big boobs. They’re cumbersome but at the same time

BUT I love my meat suit because it’s what drives around my brain and lets me explore the world, be curious, to have those moments of awe and to love and to hate, even if sometimes I aim it inwards.

every other woman gets to look nice, have a cleavage

This is blatantly not true. Look around you.
The only time I've had a cleavage is when I was breastfeeding. It was kind of nice to experience it for a while.
BF made me feel great as a woman, but not particularly sexy and I wasn't out there flaunting them or anything. Breast pads, the attached baby and tiredness puts the brakes on any notion of that!

They are tiny and empty now (53 - just reached menopause). I don't have a partner but if one comes along he can't be surprised I don't have big boobs - it's quite obvious! They did their job.

Get him to pay for your boob job!

It is available!

wearpepper.com

These bras are great and range from AA TO B

You don't need ersatz boobs, you need a better husband.

I have small breasts and I am perfectly happy with them as they are right for my slim / athletic build and frame. I don't have cleavage, never have, and if I wear a low necked top all people see is chest bone, but I don't care. I am strong and fit and like my body. I have in the past thought it would be nice to have bigger boobs, but my sister had breast cancer last year and had a mastectomy and now I'm just grateful for having a healthy body. The only time I have ever had big boobs (well for me anyway) was during and straight after pregnancy and it felt so weird and not like me at all. If you are really unhappy there are chest exercises you can do to build the muscle behind the breast tissue so they are perkier. Or padded bras? I'm sure you look great - it's about mindset. 💐

@EBearhug @RubyTuesday10 I am almost flat chested and my bra size is 28D. The ribcage flair typically adds a few inches hence "D". Most women are wearing a band size too large and a cup size too small. Small breasted women are often not A-Bs as presumed, highstreet shops are shit for us and to be avoided. You need to look online.

Soft, stretchy bras are OK, but underwired cups won't fit properly in 34A or whatever. It's not the actual size in almost all cases and 'small sizes' tend to be scaled down large bras anyway, loads of extra material not needed and big straps, hooks. Small breasts require a completely different design to fit properly, comfortably and look good.

Find your real size and google it. There are a few companies out there.

You need to look online.

I don't. (I mean, I already have places I shop online, especially for silk, so I'm sorted there.) I don't need a bra, nor lingerie - I have quite a collection I have tried other sizes - 36B rather than 38A would make life far easier, but they just don't fit comfortably. I have a wide back. Some styles aren't comfortable in any size - I avoid underwires whatever.

But if you are anything outside of whatever bra manufacturers deem to be "normal", be it small or large cup, you just won't be able to pop into a highstreet shop selling bras and have a wide choice. M&S have a small range - places like Victoria's Secret or Boux Avenue just don't bother. This may make sense for them economically, but it's frustrating for a lot of women.

Keira Knightley is beautiful because she has a gorgeous face and is very slim. Saying that having small breasts makes you like that is as silly as saying all large breasted women are like Pamela Anderson. I get that people are trying to make the OP feel better, but I'm not sure that being compared to a beauty like Keira will achieve that aim.

@RubyTuesday10 your husband is a nasty twat. Your lack of confidence would improve if you got rid of him.

I'm so sorry you feel that way. I'm sure you don't look remotely awful, but I am getting second hand annoyance on your behalf reading all these posts assuming that all small breasted women are gorgeous gamine waifs like Jane Birkin or Keira Knightley. That isn't any more true than large breasted women being like Salma Hayek or Monica Bellucci.