To hate having stupidly small breasts?

[RubyTuesday10]

I know at my age (45) I probably should have stopped caring but I have been so unhappy with my body my whole life. My breasts never developed properly- I’m an a cup and almost completely flat, I’m not even a slim build. My whole life I have never felt sexy or like a proper woman. I detest my body so much I want to hide it under baggy clothes.

My husband doesn’t criticise me but over the years he’s bought men’s magazines, looked at women on the internet- all with massive breasts, because that’s what men like- no man desires a flat chested woman. He’s now become besotted with a busty country singer and I feel the old feelings of worthlessness again. Feel so disgusted with my stupid body I scratch it sometimes.

It seems so unfair that every other woman gets to look nice, have a cleavage, be desirable but I’ll never get to have that. Have always been too broke and too scared to undergo surgery but sometimes I wish I’d been able to. I cry about how I look and have done all my life. Am I the only person on earth who feels this way? Please don’t flame me for being ungrateful for a healthy body, I am not intentionally being ungrateful and really can’t help how I feel.

I used to hate my small boobs. But then I reached a turning point where I felt like they were actually quite good for a variety of things:

• I could wear some necklines without it looking too much
• Many outfits that I liked, I thought looked more chic with smaller boobs eg. polonecks
• they never caused me problems when running, which I had heard were a pain when one has bigger boobs
• I liked sleeping without a bra and it was really comfy to not have big boobs

HOWEVER, I've now gained a horrific amount of weight and having had a baby and breastfed this past year, they're much bigger and I HATE them. They're uncomfortable and actually won't do without a bra and they're no longer perky. I hate hate hate them and miss my old un-cumbersome wonderful boobs 😭

And if it's making you feel so miserable, I don't think getting surgery is all that bad an idea. If it will make you feel happier and more confident, why not?

Internalised misogyny. Learn to love your body and not view your tits through the eyes of men

For the male gaze? Why the fuck would you do that?
The sexualisation of breasts is patriarchy and misogyny all rolled into one. Fuck men and their pornification of women

Ps. Dump your husband. He's a prick

When I was young I was flat chested but loved my small boobs. I really liked the look and could wear anything in those days. Now I've put on weight as I've got older I still like them just not as much as I used to.
You are making your boobs the focus of your unhappiness, I wonder if your husband is the real cause. You absolutely can help how you feel about them or you can do something about it, just do it to please yourself and not a man.

QueenBitch666 · Today 01:20
Ps. Dump your husband. He's a prick”

Have to agree. My large breasts have given me nothing but worry. Had my first mammogram at 29 shortly after our daughter was born. Many more over the years. Had mastectomy in 2016 and the remaining one has given me nothing but worry. Since then I’ve had 3 more biopsies.

We’re retiring soon and will free up some cash. Top of the list is removing the remaining breast because my husband a: loves me and wants me around as long as possible and b. doesn’t care one jot about my physical appearance, it’s “me” that he loves.

@Notimeforaname did you dump that man you went out with after reading his phone, and did your partner put that man in his place?

Both of those creatures are vile, I'm sure both of them probably had their own sensitivities about their bodies. To behave like that should make any woman wary, if the boobs are to their liking that behaviour will just show up about something else 🤷‍♂️

Men can be so gross.

OP, I've had a nose job so I'm not going to tell you to love your body the way it is. Sometimes it's 100 x easier to fix the outside than the inside.

But your self loathing isn't just internal- your husband (who I presume is a grown man and not a teenage boy) is being vile towards you.

It's not ok for a married man to be "besotted" with a celebrity. It's gross.

It's especially gross when he's making it clear to his wife.

Honestly, chuck the husband. Out yourself online in all your petite glory and see for yourself that a lot of men will find you very attractive.

Go Google “A cup celebrities” and you’ll find pictures of lots of gorgeous women. I think your husband is the problem here, not your breasts.

I’ve gone up to B cup after having kids, but I loved having A cup breasts. I didn’t have to wear a bra if the shirt or dress I was wearing was made of thicker material, and I could wear lower-cut tops that might look too risqué on larger-chested women.

I think women with small breasts can look much more elegant than bustier women. You can wear halternecks, off the shoulder tops and camisoles without a bra and go for a French look.
I understand where you're coming from though OP. But if it cannot be 'fixed', you MUST find a way of getting over this.

I'd personally recommend looking into getting away from the sleazy, objectifying husband instead. How dare he leave 'men's magazines' lying about for the OP to find, and let her know he's besotted with another woman? What an arsehole.

No woman's body is perfect. One of my breasts is misshapen from a ruptured implant which I'm on a long surgery waitlist to have removed, I suspect I'll have saggy empty sacks afterwards. My partner makes me feel like the most beautiful sexy woman in the world. Unsurprisingly, his body isn't perfect either but I love and appreciate it, because I love and appreciate him.

I’d swap with you in a heartbeat. Big boobs are a fucking nightmare.

Alternatively, embrace who you are?

^

Yes and no. Doesn't seem to be working for op, so why should she be miserable??

If someone needed a nose job you wouldn't say that? So what's the difference??

well, I am a cancer survivor, and have had big boobs, and no boobs, and believe me the advantages of having no boobs far outweigh the advantages of having big boobs. How attractive any individual man finds you is one tiny aspect of your life - apart from that and breast feeding, they just get in the way the whole time

My husband doesn’t criticise me but over the years he’s bought men’s magazines, looked at women on the internet- all with massive breasts, because that’s what men like- no man desires a flat chested woman.

you don’t have a boob problem- you have a husband problem

@Notimeforaname I truly hope that man got his dick stuck into a blender.
What a top shelf twat.

I once went on a date from pof and the creepy toad kept telling me if I just lost 2 stone I'd be a 10.
So I just walked to the bar and chatted with some nice bloke, gave him my number in front of pof pleb.

Lose 2 stone the cheeky fucker, I lost 11 stone of potential fuckboy right there.

(And shagged nice bar fella the following week, as one does 😁)

@RubyTuesday10 Your first paragraph is basically exactly me, same age, same shitty pathetic non-existent boobs. I'm not married and my hang ups on them have no doubt had a massive impact on previous relationships as I hated my body so much.

My previous 2 ex's genuinely had no issues with them, though it took me an age to accept this. I would love surgery just to go up to a B cup but, like you can't justify the price (mainly because I like travelling too much so spend my money on that).

Although I will always hate my body, especially my lack of boobs I have learnt to accept that this is just the way I am, and like so many things about us, both physically and personality wise, some people will love who we are, some will be meh and some will just not like us for a whole myriad of reasons.

Embrace the fact that you have a husband who loves every part of you and be glad you are not 45, boobless and still searching for "the one" 😁

Can’t afford it and also the idea of surgery scares me.

I'm exactly the same never had any boobs at all, complete lack of confidence and will never be naked completely because I feel ashamed, I've now decided I'm going to speak to my gp, I'm happy with the rest of my body, am quite slim and very petite, but I do sometimes wonder if they just didn't really develop and I should have done something sooner , so I'm going to speak to my gp and see what they say, not saying I want surgery because I don't think I would but every summer it gets me down so finally I'm going to see what if anything I can do. I'll keep you posted after my appointment next week.

Urgh men are vile. So glad to be single.

I agree with previous poster, start leaving round pictures of fit men in order to make him feel inadequate and so shit about himself that he starts considering surgery.

No? You wouldn't want to do that to your partner?

Maies you think doesn't it.

Thank you for understanding. Please do let me know how you get on, I would be so interested.

I have always been an A cup. I have had 2 kids, boobs never grew, no milk came in, they have no shape and aren't at all perky, never have been. They literally haven't changed since I was 11/12. Just somewhat triangular lumps of fat on my chest. Have to wear a bra to gain some shape from them, but tops/dresses etc look weird as for my size (12/14) they are generally tailored for a B/C minimum, so are baggy in the chest and fit weird or not at all.

I feel your pain. I'd love surgery but I can't afford it, and knowing generally it's not a permanent fix and would need redoing in 10/20 years time, financially I probably would struggle then too.

I don't think there is anyone who is 100% happy with their body but it's the only one we've got and if we can't change it, through circumstance or finance, we have to learn to live with it and be OK with it. Life sucks when you hate yourself every day.

I would say that.

Op, you have a crass, objectifying husband problem. Honestly I am angry for you. As you seem to think this is perfectly normal behaviour.

Hi, OP.

I know that no one can make you feel better, especially if your husband is being insensitive but big boobs are not all that.

Mine are ridiculously big and I hate them! I would do anything to reduce them. I'm average size and not very tall so they just look out of proportion. I can't think of a single positive with having them. I've always felt this way.

I am so sorry you feel this way. I don't think it's true at all that all men prefer large breasts. My partner likes smaller breasted women (he is quite slim himself so I think he prefers a smaller build). I'm sure your partner loves your body (and I'm sure he isn't perfect either). I used to be a AA cup pre pregnancy and now I'm a saggy B (post breastfeeding) and I miss my tiny breasts!