In laws won’t help with childcare.

[WhatsMyUsername89]

Can’t work out if I’m sounding like an entitled little cow or if I’m actually in the right.

DC is 2 years old & has recently broken her ankle.

current childcare arrangement is 1 day my DP, 1 day in laws & 1.5 day nursery.

due to this ankle break nursery have said she can come in, but only if she’s not requiring regular Calpol. She’s absolutely fine, but is still needing some Calpol & is fine once she’s had the Calpol.

my parents work but have reduced to 4 days per week to have DD one day.

Father in law doesn’t work, never has & mother in law WFH. So when they have DD MIL is working upstairs & FIL is with DD.

We are struggling with childcare but in laws have made it very clear they don’t want to help out. MIL is on leave this week; & has said “ we’re going XYZ on Fridays” (day DD is in nursery).

i asked if they could help out with childcare and they said “well I guess we don’t have a choice.” But then 2hrs later said they had instead decided to book something so couldn’t.

myself & DH have had quite a bit of time off juggling this ankle break.

I understand that DD isn’t in laws responsibility but I just feel pissed off they won’t help. It’s not for bloody ever!!!!

She is not their responsibility though, you are very lucky they do one day.

Yes you are being entitled. I think most relatives would help out in an emergency if they could but you've already had your parents actually reduce work to give you childcare!

Every parent has to juggle this stuff, they don't owe you this pretty significant time commitment.

So many people don't have the luxury of one family member on hand for this let alone four.

So, you get a free day of childcare from your parents and your in-laws every week. That is very fortunate.

Why can't you or yiur dh arrange to wfh when dd is at nursery this week and possibly next? Alternatively, can you or dh take a day of unpaid leave to deal with this.

I'm sorry op but yiu are being very entitled when you already get a huge amount of help. I'm still reeling at your parents dropping a dat each to cover childcare for you. Personally I'd have kept working and paid for a day of nursery for you. I would not commit to regular full on child care.

Very entitled, we have 3 under 3 plus olders and I would never have kids if I couldn't stay or look after them myself at the extra times they need it. Anytime they do go stay at grandparents for a few hours I'm always very grateful but it's not expected or a right I should have.

Entitled

But they do help with childcare! They do it for a day every week, presumably free!?

Not their responsibility
They don’t owe you anything

I’m more interested in why nursery can’t give calpol? Since when? Why?

Never had any help from my in-laws, not one hour of babysitting. Never. Nothing. Never offered. Never asked.

I understand that DD isn’t in laws responsibility

Clearly you don't.

You’re not being unreasonable. It’s just a day and it’s their granddaughter. Lots of people on Mumsnet have a weird complex about not relying on family, when it’s just bitterness behind it really. You should be able to count on them for this one occasion. Not surprised you feel disappointed.

Not their responsibility. YABU.

Yeah sorry they are already doing one day a week and to be honest a two year old with a broken ankle sounds like a nightmare.

Unfortunately as her parent she's your problem to sort.

They do help. One day a week.

It would be kind of them to help you in these circumstances (your poor DC!) but they're probably finding the day they do to be very tiring and are wary of a slippery slope to doing more.

Just focus on all the help you do have, and the thousands saved for you by both sets of parents, not to mention the added flexibility of using family rather than nursery on those days.

You'll get past the leg break soon.

They do help though. The title of this thread is (deliberately) misleading. As parents, the primary responsibility for situations such as this is yours.

You want your MIL to use her leave but you won’t use yours and you don’t expect your husband or parents to use theirs either? Yes, very entitled. You don’t sound very appreciative of how much is already done for you.

We are struggling with childcare but in laws have made it very clear they don’t want to help out.

They do help you out, they do 1 day of childcare every week. That’s huge! Lots of people would kill for (presumably free) child care like that, OP.

You need to stop moaning and count your blessings and find a solution with DH.

I didn’t have my parents reduce their working days. They chose too, because they wanted to spend time with their grandchildren.

It’s not their problem any more than it’s your parents’ problem. Can you dose her up for nursery in the morning, then pop out at lunch to top her up?

And your husband’s parents also spend an equal amount of time with your dd.

Entitled vote here

Sorry, yes you are being entitled.

I would be challenging the nursery on the Calpol bollocks. This will be a post-Covid thing won’t it - in case it’s masking a fever? I would really push back on this and ask them to make an exception. I hope they’re not still charging you for the missed days??

Do your parents take the same day off together? Maybe they could swop and do a day each?

Yabu. And yes, entitled. Your 2 year old is is yours and your Dp's responsibility, not your fil's. You are very lucky to have the help you do- don't alienate your in laws over this. They already do a great deal for you.