To have let another child ruin our afternoon?

[letsgoglamping]

I already know I didn’t deal with this well and it isn’t a massive deal or anything but it was annoying.

The weather here is terrible so took my DDs (3 and 8 months) to a little soft play place. When we got there another little girl was very taken with DD2 which was sweet at first but she did not leave us alone for the entire session. Constantly trying to pick DD2 up and getting in her way as she was trying to crawl and play a bit. I kept trying to manage the situation but that meant DD1 was being practically ignored. I tried ‘wouldn’t you like to go and play for a bit?’ and ‘I’m sure your mummy would like to see you!’ but no joy. Short of being really blunt (go away and leave us alone!) had no idea what to do.

She then joined us for lunch which was a pain as while she didn’t eat anything it was again taking my time away from my own two.

Just wondering how others deal with this and AIBU to think parents should really check on their child every now and again? I don’t hover over DD1 but we were there for two and a half hours and it was just too much from this child.

Tell her NO and send her away

Walk her back to her parent and ask them to stop her interfering with your baby and your lunch.

You should have been more pointed with her, and ultimately spoken to her parents and/or a member of staff. Totally not fair on your older daughter. I find Dads especially are really bad at ignoring their kids who then seek attention elsewhere.....

Why did you not send her to her parents?

Agreed. Honestly I can't believe you didn't send her back to her parents.

Sometimes you have to be politely blunt, “don’t pick DD up thank you” and “we are eating our lunch now you need to go back to your parents”.

That’s kind of the same category as just bluntly saying ‘go away’ though. Which I probably should have done but felt unnecessarily harsh. I don’t expect children to understand adults hints and signs but she really was a pain!

young children often don’t understand hints and nuance though. Unfortunately blunt but polite is the only way to manage other children being a bit invasive or clingy

"The baby wants to play by herself now, off you go and play."

"We're having our lunch now, time to go. Bye"

"No picking up the baby please, let go."

They don't understand hints but equally wouldn't have been offended (like adults might) if you said "Come on, it's time for you to go back to your mum now".

Saw a little girl obsessed with babies at soft play, following them around and trying to pick them up whilst her parents ignored it. I would be fuming. Next time tell her to go away.

Toddlers don't really get polite hints, though. You do have to be really blunt with them. A very clear "You need to go back to your mummy now" or "Leave the baby alone now, please" or "We're going to have some lunch now, so you'll have to find someone else to play with" is perfectly fine.

"Go away and leave us alone"

She wasn’t a toddler … maybe five? And she was actually very sweet but just didn’t want another child on top of mine!

you need to grow some overies, OP. why can't you

Short of being really blunt (go away and leave us alone!) had no idea what to do.

what is it about doing that you can't handle?

Her parents should have intervened before it got to the point of you ever having to be blunt.

It's not harsh to say in a polite and firm way "OK it's time for you to go back to your mum now as we are about to eat on our own. Off you go, see you later. Bye bye."

It is definitely not in the 'go away' category as that is just rude.

but when the parents don't intervene? "go back to your parents" "go away now" "i don't want you here" "GO AWAY" and when that doesn't work "TO WHOM DOES THIS CHILD BELONG? COME AND GET IT NOW"

the advantage of this? children learn who you are and don't come near, and the parents watch out to make sure their child doesn't go near you.

Have you ever seen anyone do this in a soft play centre?

Risking being locked up for unstable behaviour is a bit overkill, even if it does mean I ‘grow some ovaries.’ The child meant no harm but she was being intrusive and ideally her parent(s) would have noticed this and tactfully removed her but that isn’t what happened.

God I couldn't put up with this. Be blunt. They're kids, they don't do subtle.

Well naturally that poster was elaborating but the essence of their post was accurate. People tell children to go away in soft play centres up and down the country all the time. Yes she was sweet but you've admitted she ruined your afternoon, she wouldn't have done that if you'd been blunt with her or located her parents and asked them to redirect her to play elsewhere.

Why didn’t you send her back to her parent? Very odd! Why would you possibly allowed her to eat lunch with you?

I can’t stand parents that let their kids do this, drives me barmy, I’m much more blunt than you op though, as I’ve been known to take annoying children by the hand and back to their parents with a very firm “I am spending time with my child, not yours. Please keep a closer eye on them”

If it happens again just tell them in an age appropriate way to naff off or find their parents.

I would have been SO pissed off if this child was bothering us especially if I had my baby there. I would have said time to go now and stand up looking around. Surely the parent was there near? I would have pointed to them and said she was looking for you, as I need to see to my baby.

Sorry it ruined your afternoon but I think it was nice that you were kind to the girl and didn't get rid of her . She sounds a bit neglected if she was five and her family weren't anywhere to be seen . She might remember it forever.