To have let another child ruin our afternoon?

[letsgoglamping]

I already know I didn’t deal with this well and it isn’t a massive deal or anything but it was annoying.

The weather here is terrible so took my DDs (3 and 8 months) to a little soft play place. When we got there another little girl was very taken with DD2 which was sweet at first but she did not leave us alone for the entire session. Constantly trying to pick DD2 up and getting in her way as she was trying to crawl and play a bit. I kept trying to manage the situation but that meant DD1 was being practically ignored. I tried ‘wouldn’t you like to go and play for a bit?’ and ‘I’m sure your mummy would like to see you!’ but no joy. Short of being really blunt (go away and leave us alone!) had no idea what to do.

She then joined us for lunch which was a pain as while she didn’t eat anything it was again taking my time away from my own two.

Just wondering how others deal with this and AIBU to think parents should really check on their child every now and again? I don’t hover over DD1 but we were there for two and a half hours and it was just too much from this child.

I would have asked her to show me where her mummy is and dropped her “lost" child back to her personally.

Attachment disorder? It's bizarre that a stranger's child should have begun to hang around with you , trying to get attention by picking your baby up.

Sounds very irritating, but it's not the girl's fault..Was her mother gawking down at her phone, rather than supervising her child?

Never been to ''Soft Play'' but they sound hideous - A small girl was bitten quite severely at one on the face while in a lavatory- by two older male children {where on earth were the parents?}

They sound{anecdotally} rather hellish places where children {obviously not OP's} are left to do their own thing while the adults look down at phones.

Yes to this.

That made me chuckle.

Omg we used to get this all the time when I took my child to soft play, kids who cling on and follow us around! I'm trying to remember what we used to do, I think I used to point out another child to them and tell them to play with them!

But where were the parents????
Nearby??
I can't see how this kid for over 2 hours was neglected?? Very odd

A very firm ‘my baby needs some space please let her play on her own’ said with a smile and repeat.
At lunch a firm ‘we’re eating now so please go and play’ and just insist. If she won’t move find a member of staff.

Do you literally mean no adult checked on a five year old for over two hours? And nor did the 5yo go and check in with their parent themselves? I find that mind boggling. I allow my kids (oldest is 4.5) to play together/independently at soft plays, parks etc and don’t appreciate other adults hovering, but I think five minutes is as long as I would happily go without eyes on them, and they’re usually back over every so often to update me on some detail of whatever game they’re playing before they rush off again. I’d notify the staff FAR sooner than two hours in if I observed a 5yo hadn’t linked in with an adult in that time.

Unless you're going to actually take it up with the parent, there's nothing you can do because tbh if you (general you, not you personally OP) haven't got the courage to address it with the adult, you shouldn't be taking the easy road of being 'harsh' with a small child who is too young to blame. So in a nutshell you've a choice, be assertive with the parent or put it down to bad luck and put up with it.

Totally agree! I’m not a hoverer but I do carefully supervise my 2.5 year old as she’s so sociable and friendly. Would hate to think that other adults would think of her like this…totally get this child being a little much but she sounds quite sweet really.
Surprised at some of the comments on here!

To be fair it's equally as dull watching your child swim as it is talk to a random child. (Swimming day was THE worst day).

should have marched her over to one of the staff & said she was lost

Nope I wouldn’t have let it happen. Very firmly in a no-nonsense voice “you need to go and find your grown up now as we’re going to have lunch”. Followed a few times by “off you go then” if she was still hanging around. Failing that, go and find a member of staff to deal with the ‘lost child’.

Her parent was not parenting her. They were being lazy.
Some people just want their kids out of their hair, and so it suits them to let them annoy others.
Don’t be embarrassed to take the child back and tell them you are trying to eat/spend time with your children.
They are the ones that should feel awkward.

I don't see it like that. I think OP showed her children kindness by including a, seemingly, lonely child. It showed patience and tolerance of others. In the grand scheme of things OP, you may have made a little girls day and it was just one soft play visit. Your baby wouldn't know any different , and your 3 year old possibly quite liked having a new older friend? So, not what you had in mind but I'm sure you'll have other times when it's just you and your children. A PP saying they would shout "who's is this child, come and get it"?? Lol. As if.

And if you had had enough, which I can totally understand after that long. You can gently and kindly say, "Ok, we are going to play on our own for a little bit, you've been really kind to play with us. Say bye DC. "

Then again it's a soft play, there are kids everywhere and you can't dictate where they play. But of course, don't let other children pick yours up or have them sitting at your table if you don't want them to.

Anyway, I'd still look at the positives.

Some parents are happy to have children play wth their children so unless you told the parents you were not they are not psychic, if you did not want the child I would have niceley asked the child where their parents were and took them to them

I get the situation was annoying at first but then you are the adult so you fix it

Risking being locked up for unstable behaviour is a bit overkill, even if it does mean I ‘grow some ovaries.’ The child meant no harm but she was being intrusive and ideally her parent(s) would have noticed this and tactfully removed her but that isn’t what happened

I can't tell if you're being facetious here or really believe it @letsgoglamping

Either way, YABU. You acted like a drip so as not to offend a five year old and won't speak up in case you're locked up for unstable behaviour?! Give over woman. Next time, tell her to leave the baby alone and to go back to her mum or dad. You are your children's only advocate in these situations, and you're teaching them to be just as drippy as you.

@Brefugee seriously? You’d say these things to a 5 year old child?

they’d also learn that some parents are ignorant twats.

This ^^

You ruined your afternoon by going to soft play.

It's hell on earth. A loud, expensive peti dish of toddler bodily fluids supervised by competing parental tribes "the performative", "the saintly", "the my time with friends/my phone outsourcers", the "bewildered first timers" and the "martyrs to their children's enjoyment".

I have never been so glad as the day my child aged out of soft play and I realised I will never have to endure martyr myself again 😂.

If she meant no glharm why are you complaining? Clearly she caused harm because she took your time away from DD1 in particular.

Prioritise your own children and def send children like this away. It's not cruel or harsh it's just life.

Def grow a pair, they come in handy!!! ;)

I'd be fairly direct with the child and if the child didn't get it, I'd walk her back to her parent. I have seen children dumped at these places and left with an older sibling or two. I remember a clueless toddler on a big slide who just veered off course and crashed into my toddler. I was furious that she wasn't being supervised because my son took a bit of a hit. I was about to say something quite direct when I realised that it was a couple of siblings who were trying to comfort her and there was no parent in sight. My mother was a nanny and worked in a children's home when she was younger and I have to say that when she gave an order, children obeyed. She was quite direct about it. She wasn't Anglo Saxon though so didn't have British diffidence.

After politely suggesting several times, you really should have told the child to "go away" as you put it. More kindly of course, but something like "go on back to your mummy a minute as we need to go and play with my other little girl".

Poor kid definitely seems a bit neglected though! Ignorant parents make me SO cross!

Yeah it's not her fault her parents ignore her. Being mean to her seems a bit cruel. Asking her nicely but bluntly to go back to her Mother as you're eating seems ok though. It's always the ones who's parents just ignore them and leave them to it. I don't know what to do about those people, don't they know other people are just left to parent for them.