To have let another child ruin our afternoon?

[letsgoglamping]

I already know I didn’t deal with this well and it isn’t a massive deal or anything but it was annoying.

The weather here is terrible so took my DDs (3 and 8 months) to a little soft play place. When we got there another little girl was very taken with DD2 which was sweet at first but she did not leave us alone for the entire session. Constantly trying to pick DD2 up and getting in her way as she was trying to crawl and play a bit. I kept trying to manage the situation but that meant DD1 was being practically ignored. I tried ‘wouldn’t you like to go and play for a bit?’ and ‘I’m sure your mummy would like to see you!’ but no joy. Short of being really blunt (go away and leave us alone!) had no idea what to do.

She then joined us for lunch which was a pain as while she didn’t eat anything it was again taking my time away from my own two.

Just wondering how others deal with this and AIBU to think parents should really check on their child every now and again? I don’t hover over DD1 but we were there for two and a half hours and it was just too much from this child.

I went with yabu buy not to feel frustrated... I would also have been annoyed at that situation. However it does just happen from time to time when you have a cute baby.
I've just had my 3rd and so pbviously I know a lot of children now as my elder two have friends. And every now and then one of them gets fixated on the baby.
I'll be sat in the park for example and one of my middle daughters friends will come and sit with me and just constantly try and interact with the baby and talk to me about the baby...
Same thing at birthday parties my kids attend.. the soft play...

Its just life unfortunately! And I personally feel like you can't be too hard line with them because they ate just children besotted with a cute baby.
It is fkn annoying to deal with tho 🤣
I do internally think "please fuck off and let me drink my coffee or deal with my own kids" like I'm tired enough dealing with my own children....
However I'm always kind to them and answer their questions let them interact with the baby. They are just kids and the baby is only a baby for a short time... and sometimes I do get left alone at the softplay or wherever.. it's not like its absolutely every single time I go out.

You can’t feed other people’s children without their permission they could have an allergy

I used to find picking baby up and telling them no was effective. You aren't a free babysitter.

That was me when I was little - maybe 7?
I was up in the mountains alone with my grandparents and this mum with her two teenage kids was up there.
In my mind it was KIDS!!!
I bugged them all day. Finally, when they sat down to dinner, the mum said ”You need to go home now,” very sternly. I was either too little or too dense to be embarrassed.
And I ran home.
The little girl wouldn’t know any better if you told her to go find her mum because play time with you was over for the day.
She’s 5.

Let me guess, the child was there with her dad who was on his phone.

Worse than that. It was 2 mums, and they were browsing mumsnet. Appalling.

You were kind and indulged the child for a while, but as soon as you’d had enough, you should have told her clearly and explicitly. ”You need to go back to you mum now, Emily. We want some time as just a family. We don’t want to play with you anymore. Go back to your mum and find someone else to play with.”

If she had returned, be firmer, “No! We don’t want you near us anymore, Emily. Please go away now and don’t come back.”

Me too! I don’t think I’d have the heart to send a 5 yr old packing!

If you or anyone else had the heart to say this to a 5 year old, I'm sorry you're not being firm, you're being cruel. "We don't want to play with you anymore" who says that to a child? There are other kind but firm ways to speak to children. Making them feel unwanted isn't it.

“No! We don’t want you near us anymore, Emily. Please go away now and don’t come back.”
Would you be ok with your own child being spoken to that rudely, for just being friendly🤔? By an adult, or another child? I suspect you'd think it unnecessarily mean.

What you said to her was extremely passive and gave her choices.
Wouldn't you like to? No I would like to stay here
I think mummy misses you...pretty sure sge doesn't

You don't need to be mean.
The baby likes to play on her own and this area is only for babies, please go and play somewhere else.
We are eating our lunch now, please go back to your mummy.

I've had this a few times, OP. Lots of children are really taken by babies and love playing with them, which is often really sweet but sometimes too much. I haven't always handled it well, and I am ashamed to say I actually let a couple of girls upset my baby once because I wasn't firm enough (the other children were being friendly, but just "too much", very much like you describe) and we ended up leaving the park early.

But I've gradually found the best way to do it is to be direct and firm - although not necessarily shouty and unkind. Just firmly say "no, she just wants to play on her own at the moment." "No, she needs a bit of space." "No, she doesn't want to be picked up". I find that almost always works, but if not, "Right, she wants a bit of space away from other people, so we're going over there now" and pick the baby up and go somewhere else.

Thanks. I do think I could have been more direct but telling someone to go away - out of a space they have every right to be in - is probably a bit much. I did tell her to not pick DD2 up of course but I think that’s where resentment came in: I don’t want to parent someone else’s child.

She didn’t but by that point I was that frazzled I was probably barely capable of knowing my own name 😅

I suppose I don’t see her as an enemy I have to ‘stand up’ too. I have managed and come through many difficult situations in my life. This isn’t one of them. It’s a child being unintentionally annoying. That’s it. It isn’t death or destruction or war or famine.

@NuffSaidSam I would have felt mean asking her to find her parent and I don't think it would have worked?!
Someone on here suggested having the balls to address with the parents if you feel that strongly and I think this is the best advice I have read.
It's not the kids fault they aren't being supervised by their parent.
Tbh unless my baby is clearly uncomfortable with it I will probs just put up with it if it happens again, only being very firm re picking him up / feeding him.

You needed to tell her direct to go back to whoever she was with, totally ignore her and focus on your own children.

Maybe she just felt bad y’know basically telling a 5 year old to fuck off.

I think the problem with her going back to who she was with is that wasn’t why she was there: it isn’t a supervised activity. So she was in a play area she had every right to be in, as were my two! If it had been for just a little while it wouldn’t have mattered. I should have just said something about wanting to play with DD1 and off you pop but I do think some posters underestimate just how persistent some children can be!