Dirty.

[Alittlelostinlifeisi]

I usually wash things when I notice they’re dirty, and I am a bit shortsighted and I observant so it probably takes me longer than most to notice. I wash bedclothes on each bed once a month or 2. I wash my floors every month or 2. I wash my bathrooms every month or 2. I wash my hair once a week. I shower or bath at least once daily but I wash my children about once a week. I work full time in a job that entirely zaps my energy and really struggle with my energy level when I come home hence the washing self to feel better. I feel disgusting. My car is filthy. My wardrobes are a mess. I have too much stuff to keep it all in order. I have always a pile of usually clean laundry just not folded and I never iron. I do keep the dishwasher and washing machine going and the basic kitchen ok, but don’t look in the cupboards or oven or air fryer. Does anyone have any useful judgements or advice for me to not be so lazy😳 am I being unreasonable to think that most people do not live like this?

I’m not exactly Mrs neat but this was the strategy my blind as a bat ex mil used and her house was tidy but filthy, I’d suggest you develop a system to clean things after a certain time whether you can see they are dirty or not!

So you shower or bath daily but the poor kids are lucky if they get one once a week?!

It sounds like a cleaning rota is what you need.

How old are you children? Are they old enough to have friends over?

This stood out for me too.

'At least once daily' implies it's even more at times.

It’s really hard to juggle everything op. Are you alone or have you a partner/husband to help you? I can be a bit like this and it’s been long suspected in my case it is adhd contributing to my troubles. Definitely time for a gradual declutter to make managing the home and kids easier by the sounds of things(I need to follow my own advice!) are your kids very young? I ask as really they don’t tend to need showering/bathing as much as older kids do and a wash at the sink can do the job a lot of the time before bed! I can relate to the laundry, I have an empty cot (our baby still sleeps in a carrycot) and it’s full of clean laundry😂 I find a to do list with three must do jobs on it a day helps me keep focus and get what’s important done rather than me spending time pottering but not actually doing anything significant! I get away with washing my kids twice a week but it can be a bit of an ordeal😂

I know I am a disaster. I think I needed to get this out of my head and into a conversation to get the awfulness of it.

I would try and do it on a rota if you don’t notice by sight. I am guessing it’s a typo when you say you wash everyday but your children don’t! Obviously all of you need to wash every 1-2 days properly. Hair is fine once a week depending on your hair type (I sadly have to do mine more often).

People live all kinds of lives, I don’t think it helps to compare. Doesn’t sound like you’re happy with your current set up, so change it!!

Small kids do not need as much washing as adults , bo wise

Can you afford a cleaner? Do you have a partner? Sounds like it’s all on you. I would highly recommend a cleaner. There are so many things I’d give up before a cleaner!!

Love this.

Would a routine with reminders on your phone help? I’ve set mine up so eg. every Monday morning at 7am I get a reminder to stick the towels in the wash. At 4pm which is when I get home from the school run every other Thursday I get a reminder to change the kids beds and wash the sheets.

The reminders are shared with DH so whichever of us is around does the chore.

How old are the kids?

Your every month or two jobs are weekly (at least) jobs, the place must be absolutely filthy. How old are the kids can they contribute?

You need a routine.

The thing that stood out for me too is the washing the kids. That is not ok. They deserve to be clean and hygienic. Untidy cupboards don’t matter though!

How old are they? I assume not old enough to wash themselves. Bathtime/shower time isn’t negotiable- just like eating. I found it easiest to do as part of changing into pyjamas. They’re getting changed anyway, right? Into bathroom, into shower - have all the clothes there. Even just a hose down and a bit of shower gel. Two minutes, dry and pjs on in the bathroom. This could take as little as 10-15 mins longer than just changing

Thanks for this 🙌

Are you not worried that your children smell? Sleeping in dirty beds and washing them once a week will mean they're the children that other children don't want to play with. I know that's harsh but many of us had 'those children' when we were at school.

I understand you're tired after work, but you really need to have a massive rethink about what's going on. Your children are learning how to care for themselves and their home through you, and them only being bathed once a week is just not right. They will grow up thinking this level of hygiene is acceptable, and it's really, really not.

I think you need a huge declutter and a schedule to work from. If your children are not toddlers, they should be helping you with age appropriate tasks. Where is your partner in all of this?

You need a cleaner. But a house where the bathrooms are cleaned every month or two would need cleaned first, as you couldn't expect someone to deal with that. But then it's maintenance all the way.

You’re right. This is the way I was brought up and it has to stop with me. Thanks so much you all for this clarity.

You need a cleaning routine and stick to that routine.

Everyone has different standards but I’m sorry to say the beds must smell not being changed regularly and if your children are only being bathed once a week and getting into dirty beds that’s just grim. Your house must be filthy not cleaning bathrooms or doing floors. As for the air fryer how can you cook in it if it’s dirty?

If this isn’t a joke or troll thread you need to get your finger out your arse if you feel your house is disgusting - only you can sort it.

There’s a lot of good tips on the Housekeeping section.

Definitely agree with a rota/routine such as bedding being washed every Sunday, towels on a Monday etc. both should be washed weekly. I'd also bath/shower kids a bit more often now that the weather is getting warmer. Doesn't need to be daily though 🙂

Then apply the same for cleaning - wipe around kitchen every couple of days, same for bathroom. Hoovering/mopping weekly etc.

It's hard to juggle but it may be easier if you're doing top up cleaning as opposed to leaving it to get 'dirty' and needing to spend extra time on it.

Maybe the TOMM method or look at Lindsey, queen of clean on Facebook for some tips.

All the best xx

I hate housework, and finally got a cleaner in for 2 hrs a week (small terraced house). What's amazed me is that she does all the floors, kitchen/bathroom in less than 2 hrs, so I have to give her 'extras' to do (e.g. cleaning fridge interior). My point is just that it doesn't actually take all that long to do, but like you I'm lazy - particularly hate doing floors. The house is now clean enough that I'm probably going to reduce the hrs to every fortnight not every week.

Why won't you say how old your kids are?

it can be really hard op as cleaning/ tidying can feel relentless and thankless.

How about trying cleaning upstairs (including bedding wash) one week and downstairs the next week? Depending on size of house, it may only need one hour to do a basic clean and will make a big difference.
Add a few daily jobs such as:
10/15 minute tidy
load of laundry/ laundry put away
wash dishes/ load dishwasher
make beds
5 min hoover one area

The guided cleans by The Organised Mum might help. Or her printed sheets.

OP, there's an app called 'tody'. It's free. You can set yourself tasks, and how often you want to do them, and it reminds you. When you tick them off it starts counting down again to next Tim they're due.

You set the tasks up by room in the house, I've even created a 'room' called self care and set up things like how often to dye my hair, and when my period is due, as I was always forgetting.