Dirty.

[Alittlelostinlifeisi]

I usually wash things when I notice they’re dirty, and I am a bit shortsighted and I observant so it probably takes me longer than most to notice. I wash bedclothes on each bed once a month or 2. I wash my floors every month or 2. I wash my bathrooms every month or 2. I wash my hair once a week. I shower or bath at least once daily but I wash my children about once a week. I work full time in a job that entirely zaps my energy and really struggle with my energy level when I come home hence the washing self to feel better. I feel disgusting. My car is filthy. My wardrobes are a mess. I have too much stuff to keep it all in order. I have always a pile of usually clean laundry just not folded and I never iron. I do keep the dishwasher and washing machine going and the basic kitchen ok, but don’t look in the cupboards or oven or air fryer. Does anyone have any useful judgements or advice for me to not be so lazy😳 am I being unreasonable to think that most people do not live like this?

Kids do not need to bathe daily and in fact there is evidence to show it can damage their delicate skin barrier, as previous poster noted. Once or twice a week if fine until they hit puberty, but which time they can bathe themselves.

If you don't have the energy to wash all the bedding, maybe you could just do the pillow cases in between the monthly wash, if they need it? Duvet covers don't need changing as much, so once a month is fine.

If you can find 10 mins a day, you could have a basic schedule like this:
Mon - wash bathroom sink
Tues - wash bath
Weds - clean toilet
Thurs - vacuum 10 mins
Fri - vacuum 10 mins again
Sat - wash floor 10 mins
Sun - 10 mins of one job that needs doing, such as cleaning fridge, or 10 mins putting clothes away

You are doing great, OP, you are managing to raise three kids while working full time, which is amazing.

Prioritise and make a list and stick to it

Things that must be done
Washing
Showering daily.
Washing up
Changing beds weekly dirty bedding makes kids smell

Things that can be done less frequently
Mopping. Tidying. Sorting cupboards

I can't remember the last time I ironed anything. But ... that does mean you have to hang washing on hangers and not leave them crumpled

I use the Sweepy app - you put custom jobs in with different timescales then tick them off (so for example I have clean kitchen counters to daily, but clean the windows 2 monthly, or hoover daily but mop weekly (wooden floors throughout the house) - I find it really helps being able to see the little progress bar fill up when I've done something

You’re so kind and helpful thank you 🙏🏻

My neighbour was like this and in the end she stuck a numbered post-it on every drawer and cupboard and made a corresponding ‘audit’ list. It took her a month but she spent time every day clearing out just one thing. It freed up space for surface clutter, which in turn made her house easier to keep clean. She was spurred on by being able to tick off and throw away each post-it note, and it’s totally changed her habits. Her house looks so much better!

PS every other day is fine to wash the kids unless they’ve got filthy. The oldest two are old enough to shower, and when the littlest is in the bath, that’s when you potter about cleaning the loo/sink/floor.

I hate cleaning but I’m constantly cleaning something as I don’t want it to get nasty. I think doing a little something every day is easier than doing a massive cleaning one or two days a week.

maybe get up half an hour earlier in the mornings and do one thing. Scrub toilets and wipe down shower/baths. Or wash dishes and counter tops. Do the floors. Dust. I notice my house stays cleaner this way as by the weekends I’m beat and just don’t have the energy to do much at all.

Maybe

Washing children so much they get eczema is neglect. Twice a week is sane.

Op, you are not filthy. Mumsnet is notorious for competitive ‘cleanliness’. A spot of freshening up round the place wouldn’t hurt tho.

A lot of housework lasts longer with tiny tweaks that don’t take an extra second. Eg wash sheets at 60, they don’t smell as fast.

Wet dusting, not a duster, lasts twice as long. Rinse plates in hot water, no drying required. Open windows - you’d be amazed how much brighter the place is.

No shoes in house. Fill a binbag a month of declutter.

Know how long it takes you to
do the most dismal jobs. I loathe changing beds, but I know I can cope with 7 min of hell every fortnight.

Eat a twirl after every session.

You have three children and work in a full time job that is draining your energy.
You are amazing, do not sell yourself short.
You are also exhausted, which is not surprising.
How is your nutrition and sleep quality?
This can have a colossal impact on your energy levels.
I would suggest upping the intake of fruit, vegetables and water, making sure your bedroom is clean and comfortable, then go from there- strip and wash the kids bedding weekly, buy them some cute bubble bath and a few new bath toys so they can have a play in the bath while you tidy the bathroom every second night.
Thorough wash on alternate night.
Clean clothes and pjs daily, develop a bedtime routine you can manage.
Clean floors daily or every second day, usually kitchen floors need a daily going over.
Mop a couple of times per week.
Cull all clothing- so you only have what fits in drawers and wardrobes.
Cull toys.
Then pick a room - the kitchen is a good starting place - go through everything gradually and throw/donate excess items.
It's a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself and enjoy the process, and get your little ones involved, it teaches positive life lessons.
You can do this 🙂💐

It depends on how your rooms are used. If your children play on the floor in high-traffic areas then hoovering/mopping more often might be wise. Where they don’t play on the floor then a hoover every few days should be fine. Also a bath more than once a week would be better.
I always keep food cooking surfaces clean & anywhere else that’s high-contact like taps, but the only thing we do in the basins is spit toothpaste in & we just sit on the toilet so unless visibly dirty I’m not fussed.
Re the beds, maybe do one child’s bed on 1st of the month, next one a week later etc so that would be a routine to start with.

So she works hard for you ,she's probably busting a gut getting all that done in 2 hours and you give her extra jobs ,so does that too ,but your thinking of only have her every other week, because she works well in those two hours
I hope she tells u to sod off

Are your kids ND, OP? Because I cannot get my ND child to bathe for love or money. Posters judging you for not bathing your kids more often are imagining your kids want a bath,
care about being clean, and are not going to fight you tooth and nail at the mere suggestion of a wash. And a protracted battle is the sort of thing that tends to really sap your energy at the end of a long work day.

I’d suggest you check out Strugglecare podcast and website - she wrote the book How to Keep House While Drowning.

Ignore the judgy posters - nobody’s died, you’re doing all right and looking for ways to sort the things that bother you.

As @OperationalSupport has suggested, phone reminders are simple and work.

You'll need to think a bit in the set up about frequency of tasks and your capacity. E.g change beds fortnightly, clean toilet, sink, shower /bath weekly, wipe down kitchen daily, but once you do it should be easier as you won't have to think about any of it and cleaning regularly like that means it's usually quicker!

Good luck!

Also, too add, a lot of the cleaning advice out there is going to be overwhelming and I've noticed some on this thread suggesting frequencies that aren't necessary. Generally as a society we are over-clean and that has an effect on our immunity, skin health etc. Don't feel like you have to mop your floors & change bedsheets every week, you might not be able to keep it up and be setting yourself up to fail.

thats such a clever idea!!

The kids need bathing 3 x pw minimum in my opinion and their bedding changed once pw.
If you sleep alone and only change yours once a month then 🤷‍♀️.
Bathroom and kitchen should be cleaned daily and floors hoovered daily (ideally) but at least every other day. Mopping should really be a minimum of once pw.
Things like kitchen cupboards do need doing but on a more as and when you have time basis, could you do one a day until they are done?

That's what the lazy people say. Another gem is that it's better for their skin to not wash everyday.
It's frankly disgusting that your kids bath once a week. Do you know those woman who come on here complaining about their partners who have poor hygiene, bathing every once / two weeks, no teeth brushing? These are the adults who thought hygiene was optional as kids. You need a routine. Leave it at the end of the day if you have to, bath teeth and bed.

I know some people say kids don't need bathing every day but for a shortsighted OP it's actually easier to get all the kids in the bath every night and wash them rather than give the little one a thorough top and tail every day or supervise the older ones. Personally I think bathing once a week is pretty gross. Kids do still get sweaty and they get dirty from playing, eating etc.

However I actually disagree that kids' bedding needs to be changed once a week. For a couple it's different but for a single person it can be a couple of weeks surely.

Washing children so much they get eczema is neglect. Twice a week is sane.

Nonsense. I have 2 with eczema currently under both paediatric dermatologists. There is a daily wash and many emollient washes that you can use, lukewarm water etc.

And eczema isn't through washing so much. So much nonsense being said.

Start with what's most important. For me, that would be a routine for clean children. Get that into a rhythm. Then add on cleaning bedding more. Then start with being more regimented putting washing away. Add on one thing per week. If you're a single parent, what you're doing is incredibly hard but not impossible. If you're not on your own wtf is your partner doing?

Do look at your diet and sleep - everything will feel better if you can make these better

@Alittlelostinlifeisi Sorrry to hear you are struggling with keeping on top of things.
My life is a bit hectic with working full time and kids stuff going on, I know how hard it can be to keep on top of things.

I found that after having a massive declutter (and what feels like a hundred trips to the tip!) it has helped me to keep on things easier.

Have you thought about hiring a cleaner to come and help, 2 hrs a week is a massive help and doesn’t cost too much (I run a cleaning company, it’s would cost about £40 a week) they could also help with an initial deep clean or can help with decluttering so you could start again from fresh without all the catching up.

I try to set myself a task a day - bathrooms today, dust upstairs etc or if I have more time I just put some music on and spend a couple of hours thinking when I’ve done all of upstairs I can stop and have a 10 minute sit down.
Things like the air fryer and keeping it clean - it only take a minute so I make sure it’s done as soon as it’s used…fill with water and washing up liquid and pop on for 5 minutes then it’s just a quick scrub and back in the air fryer to dry.

Why does vacuuming and mopping need to be done daily?

Ours are done weekly and floors are perfectly clean after 24/48/72 hours.

Sinks, baths, showers, bogs, etc, get a quick wipe and are never dirty.

Beds get changed fortnightly, towels weekly.

The kitchen is cleaned as we go along, the fridge about once a month, Ovenclean do the oven once every 6 months.

Clean knickers, socks, bra, top or dress daily for all. Nightwear about every three days. The laundry is like the forth Bridge.

My cleaner comes on Tuesdays and Fridays. She does the mopping, bathrooms, Dusting, ironing. Six hours pw - if the house were half the size three would do it.

We keep the place clean and tidy in-between. Bins, beds, laundry, dishwasher, shopping, cooking. I couldn't do any more round a full-time job.

Your DC must have a shower every 2/3 days and be topped and tailed in between. They must also have clean clothes and clean beds as an absolute minimum.

A month for sheets is not fine, it’s utterly disgusting.

sheets and towels once a week.

the rest of the post if fine

OP, I remember a girl at school who smelled really badly. Don’t let that be your kids,

Tbh I agree, it only seems to be in recent years that it's deemed acceptable not to bath your kids every day. If they have eczema then they still need a thorough wash. Kids are filthy and they deserve to be kept clean.

I don't buy into rotas etc, just do it, by the time you've read a book on how to clean your house you could've made a start. Little and often is the way forward.