I have no interests or hobbies or passion,

[ifeelquiteboring]

Hi

I have name changed for this because I'm quite embarrassed but as the title says. I literally have 0.

I like to exercise, I'm a mum of 1 but I don't do much other than work be a mum and that is it.

My partner keeps calling me boring because I can't hold a conversation or bring many conversations to the table and asks me what I enjoy or what I find interesting.

I want to find new things find new loves find something that interests me but have no clue where to start.

Is anyone else like this or has anyone been in this position and pulled themselves out? Some how?

I know it's not an AIBU but I don't know where to put it! I feel like I have no substance Part from being good at my job and amazing at being a mother.

Listen to the news on tv or radio and read the bbc website. There’s a story most days that’s a decent conversation starter.

It's not really that difficult to start. You can commit to learning one new thing every week be that a new activity or simply reading about a particular topic. Join the library, go to a museum, theatre... just go outside and take some pictures of plants then try drawing them or collaging them. Ask your colleagues what they are into, look up meetups in your local area. I mean, I can literally think of a dozen things to do in the immediate vicinity of my house which don't require much time or financial investment.
https://www.meetup.com/

Did you ever have interests? You must have enjoyed doing something previously, surely?

I would say you do have a hobby - you say you like to exercise. Exercising is a hobby.

I don't think many people have hobbies that are interesting to the general population or are conversation starters. An example, might be running. I like running but most people don't so what could I really say about it that's interesting to another person. I think what you might be, is lacking confidence more than anything.

Are you happy with the way you are OP? Is it your partner that has decided that you are boring? Frankly with a job and a child to look after, the way you are may be enough right now if you are content.

What did you enjoy as a child/teen?
Could you get back into that or something similar?

You are good at your job so you must be interested in that and things related to what you do. Also it sounds like you are interested in exercising and fitness and health. I don’t think your partner should be putting you on the spot about not having enough interests.

Definitely keep up with the news and current affairs though.

Let him look after the DC while you take up a new hobby!

Your partner is out of line. Work and a child is enough to use up anyone's time. If you do have time then...

Do you like the outdoors? Adventure? What about visiting National Trust properties with your child as a starting point?

What's your favourite TV show of the following : garden rescue, sewing bee, masterchef, bake-off, pottery thrown down, portrait artist of the year, fake or fortune, antiques roadshow etc? Could that give you a clue of where to look for a hobby?

Look up local courses. Learning a new skill is always fun even if you're not enamoured by the activity itself.

Alternatively, tell your partner you want to spend 4K on a new camera for your photography hobby. He might change his tune.

My other half has multiple hobbies and I have zero!

I like the usual tv, cinema, meals out, meeting friends but nothing like dance lessons, painting, anything exercise related.

Yeah, ballet isn’t my greatest conversation substance :) (always done and loved it, still go to the opera - well, when I can find money for it especially these days!).

OP were you always the same or have you lost interest in things ?

Presumably your partner knew you when he chose to be with you and have a child together ?

I might be tempted to reply ‘well, I used to enjoy you, but yeah you’re right, maybe I should go about finding a new love’ 😊

Otherwise just lightly try out different things, say a couple of hours every week/ months / whatever suits your timings.
Meet-up groups can be good for that, or just plain old Googling lists of hobbies and see if something appeals a little and give it a try.
But only if it makes you happy, not to provide conversation entertainment to your partner ?

And fwiw being a mum is plenty enough for many people, and absolutely fine, do you enjoy activities with your child ?

I absolutely love the replies I’ve been getting,

I do feel like I’ve got no time because I work 8-5 so as soon as I get home it’s dinner bath and bed for my two year old but lately she hasn’t been sleeping till 10-11pm sometimes without a nap so I don’t even have it in me to stand up on my work out stuff and do anything at these hours.

i actually don’t socialise much either which im going out next weekend with everyone from work!!!

I don’t feel content because I don’t feel like I do enough but I think I’ve let him get into my head because he’s into aliens, scandals like pdiddy.. he also is quite spiritual which I’ve came on a slight path but I don’t sit here and do all this.

i think my problem is I sit on my phone too much in my spare time which I either need to use it wisely and look into things which have been highlighted or similar or do something else. I do like colouring, reading I did a lot of that before baby! But again why’d you want to talk about it😂

I kind of feel like this is him problem but I also feel like I want more from life. I want to be knowledgable I want to know things that I don’t right now!

my mum did say she struggled with me because she has nothing to talk about with me but years ago we were best friends we still are but she is right.

I am going back to training within my role so I may not be interesting but I’m learning and expanding my knowledge on my career to open more doors.

Listen to Radios 3 and 4.

Read this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Incomplete-Education-3Rd-Judy-Jones/dp/0345468902

You don't mention how old the one is, but I can guarantee that mine, and everyone I knew with a baby/ toddler similar age were not actively pursuing many interests at that time. If I remember correctly, I was on the proper way to steam food etc.

I would bet money that this is because he wants to try to intimate that you're in some way deficient according to his standards. In the same way as men say "she was just so beautiful, you stopped being that to me". It's insidious and disrespectful.

Are there any TV programmes you particularly enjoy? Or holiday destinations you love?

Could this lead you to reading books associated with what you enjoy? Or check it out on YouTube and see where that leads you?

I watched 'Witness' when it first came out (1980's) and that film led me to reading about the Amish, a group of people I had never heard of until then. I am still interested in the Amish forty years later and have read countless books and watched documentaries

There are several other interests that I have which have been sparked by a film, TV programme or book . . . I collect Persephone books, do bullet journaling, knit, follow the European Royal Families, and enjoy quizzes on the TV so enjoy building up my general knowledge

If you could find something that sparks your interest and take it further . . . it doesn't matter what it is . . . I'm sure it will lead to other things

Hope this helps, OP

Have you thought about volunteering?

@Godlovesall26

i do go out with my child but I have anxiety so when we are on our own I tend to flail a little and right now I’m a little broke but next weekend I plan on taking her out and tomorrow we will be out in the park and woods etc! I have the love for travelling but I’m not feeling like I can just take my two year old and go and feel safe! I’d love to learn about different places to be fair.

I have 0 time for this as I work mon-fri 8-5 and have a two year old her dad works away a lot and well yeah but I used to!

Thank you!! I will give the book a go!! Thanks!

YouTube is your friend for learning about different places 😀

He sounds like a nut job tbh. Ignore him. Your interest ATM is exercise. That's plenty to be getting on with if that's what works for you.

Have you ever heard of anhedonia OP? Not saying you necessarily have this but it may be worth looking into to see if it resonates at all. I’ve had it at various points in my life and it really isn’t nice. It does pass though and there are things you can do to help it.

Yes I agree with this. I sing and am very involved in a couple of local choirs. It’s great for meeting people with the same interest but if I ever mention it to work colleagues/non-singing friends their eyes practically glaze over after the first couple of sentences 🤣

OP I think you need to narrow down what it is you want. If it’s really just to be more interested in the world and have more to talk about with others then brushing up your general knowledge/watching the news is probably the way to go.

Hmm, “My partner keeps calling me boring” - I really hope he’s nicer than he sounds from this!
But it’s still a good thing to try and learn more about the world and all the interesting stuff out there.
Is your child still very young? I find I start looking things up on my phone because I can’t answer questions like, “How far away is the moon?”. Other friends have become experts on dinosaurs! Did you know that there’s a longer time gap between Stegosaurus and T. Rex than between T. Rex and us?
Mumsnet is a great source of recommendations for books, films, TV series, podcasts… There are also some great YouTube channels out there - I’ve got into reviews of how accurate historical film costumes are (the reviews are funniest when the costumes are totally wrong!).
Personally, one of my biggest things is gardening - do you have any space to grow plants? And I like the suggestion to take photos of plants and the natural world - good mindfulness stuf!

I second the recommendation of YouTube..... if you are selective. There is a lot of garbage, but a lot of classic documentaries, plays, concerts, historical series, information about healthy eating, etc etc can be found on YouTube. For instance, I like listening to a lovely Irish lady who has lots of programmes about British history (her monikeris History Calling).