To consider pulling out of being MOH less than a fortnight before wedding?

[Rolomania]

Been best friends with the soon to be bride for well over 10 years. She’s always had a gob on her, putting her foot in it and is very opinionated. She has a lot of great qualities about her, which is why she is my best friend despite having to tell her to keep her opinions to herself sometimes.

I am her maid of honour in 12 days time… she has 2 other bridesmaids.

She has in my opinion taken it too far this time, and spread her judgemental opinions onto our other friend who is currently grieving a very close relative. To her face, other friend absolutely devastated with the lack of compassion and walked out.

I told best friend her comments were nasty and she seems not to care, said she can’t be bothered with someone dimming her shine with grief whilst she’s trying to focus on the wedding.

I just feel like pulling out of being maid of honour and telling her I’ve put up with some opinions from her for the last 10 years, but she’s taken it too far.

But because wedding is in 12 days, everything paid for, my dress, make up hair etc I just feel awful.

What would you do. I feel stuck

I'd probably suck it up and get through the wedding then pull away from her after. I'm not big on confrontation though so maybe that's just me.

is it worth the big drama and upheaval ? Will it achieve much or just cause her stress and spoil her day? Be the bigger person and deal with it later.

This is what I was thinking just to suck it up, we’re currently not talking which is even more awkward. Do I just turn up on the day after not speaking? 🤣

Oh, that's tricky if you're not even speaking. I too was going to say just suck it up for the one day then distance yourself from her afterwards. I'd wait for her to contact me though about the actual day, but I'm stubborn.

Our last convo was me telling her she’s gone too far and her reply was that she didn’t care and people are too sensitive and she’s annoyed my friends step dad passed away just before her big day…

I’d tell her to apologise to grieving friend or your friendship is done and you won’t be MOH. Leave it up to her.
You’re not speaking at the moment anyway so …

This is good advice. Put it in her hands. Your other friend deserves a grovelling apology from Bridezilla.

So it’s less than 2 weeks before the wedding, you’re maid of honour, and you’re not even speaking to her?

The key issue is that you’re not on speaking terms. This seems incompatible with being MOH.

If she's that bad then maybe the groom won't show either!😄
Sounds like it'll be an awful day though.

Ultimately if you pull out now your friendship will be over, will you be prepared for that? She sounds like a twat anyway so for me personally I would not want her in my life.

@TheDrunkenClam is good advice put it into her hands. Suck up the cost if she refuses.

I would also message her and say that you’re upset with her comments and she either apologises to grieving friend or finds herself a new MOH.
If you remain moh then I would definitely distance myself from her after the wedding. I know some people can be difficult leading up to their weddings but her comment was nasty for no reason.

Honestly couldn't condone her callousness I wouldn't be going

Does grieving friend know what she has said about her?

I couldn't do it. What a callous bitch. I've got zero patience for people like that so I'd tell her to apologise or you're out. What's the grieving bridesmaid doing? I hope she's told Bridezilla to do one.

I would tell her your pulling out, as you "didn't want to dampen the shine on her wedding"

And block and move on

What a nasty person she is

She sounds unbearable. I would leave her to it, to be honest. Annoyed your other friend's parent died before her big day? Fucking hell. Take the grieving woman out for a lovely lunch on the day of the wedding x

I couldn’t be friends with someone like her. But it is a bit harsh pulling out so close to the big day, but I guess if you’re not speaking it’s on her to sort that out. I can’t believe someone is that shallow they are annoyed someone died when she’s in full on wedding mode. What a selfish cow

We were out for dinner together the 3 of us and friend said she was devastated about her step dad passing and was worried about her mum and bride to be said in these words “I’m a bit gutted he died so soon to my wedding day, feel like you’re just going to be crying whilst I’m walking round the aisle! Couldn’t he have waited?” Then tried to laugh.

The world’s a stage. Turn up do your job and let the friendship fizzle out.

Should also add, when friend clearly didn’t find the comment funny and very hurtful bride to be said you just been to get on with it it’s inevitable parents will die one day

Or maybe just pull out. What she said is unforgivable.

WTF - she sounds horrendous! No real advice but I'd personally be staying well clear.

I think if you treat friends like that you don’t deserve people to stand beside you on your ‘big day’…

“Don’t miming her shine with grief”

Jesus, forget pulling out of the wedding, pull out of the relationship. She sounds monstrous.

“Dimming “