To consider pulling out of being MOH less than a fortnight before wedding?

[Rolomania]

Been best friends with the soon to be bride for well over 10 years. She’s always had a gob on her, putting her foot in it and is very opinionated. She has a lot of great qualities about her, which is why she is my best friend despite having to tell her to keep her opinions to herself sometimes.

I am her maid of honour in 12 days time… she has 2 other bridesmaids.

She has in my opinion taken it too far this time, and spread her judgemental opinions onto our other friend who is currently grieving a very close relative. To her face, other friend absolutely devastated with the lack of compassion and walked out.

I told best friend her comments were nasty and she seems not to care, said she can’t be bothered with someone dimming her shine with grief whilst she’s trying to focus on the wedding.

I just feel like pulling out of being maid of honour and telling her I’ve put up with some opinions from her for the last 10 years, but she’s taken it too far.

But because wedding is in 12 days, everything paid for, my dress, make up hair etc I just feel awful.

What would you do. I feel stuck

Pull out. Imagine all the stress you're going to put yourself through. She sounds like a nightmare. Not a friend imo. Cloud with a silver lining yay

That would be a step too far for me

I know that there will always been different perspectives expressed but it’s unfortunate that over the course of this long thread there has also been so much misinformation and misunderstanding of the situation.

And too many posters who haven't read the OP's updates.

She has pulled out

I’ve seen that the OP pulled out of the wedding. Good for her. 👏Absolutely the right decision especially since the bride had no remorse at all x

Just walk. She is not nice.
You don't need that in your life😍

The total lack of empathy signifies some sort of mental health issue., however, this in no way excuses the behaviour which is callous and shocking. Does she have other friends or family members who are aware of her behaviour. Have you spoken to the friend who was on the receiving end of the comment whilst grieving, in terms of what you should do I would take a steer from her, good luck with sorting this out it is a nightmare situation.

How extraordinarily self-centred! Being a bride does not excuse one from basic human decency.

So sorry you find yourself in such a quandry. You're between a rock & a hard place.

There's no easy way through this that I can see.
But what ever you decide, I think your friendship has likely run its course. You deserve better.

Love to be a fly on the wall. Sorry that’s not helpful though.

She sounds like an over entitled brat and frankly not the sort of person anyone would want as a friend. Tell her how you feel and that she should apologise to the grieving friend. Bride-to-be is NOT a free pass for being an absolute bitch.

We sometimes find that we sustain friendships despite everything, and not because of that person. Then we find something that's the final straw and makes us see the friendship in a new light. This looks like one such example.

Consider first if she is a friend worth a keeping. If not then duck out and tell her why. If you want to stick with her as a friend then be MOH and tell her what you think about the situation after the wedding. She does sound insensitive but perhaps you are being too sensitive and could let it wash over you.

Please read the OP's updates @LubyLooTwo

@Rolomania - you wrote “However I definitely did make the right decision, and have had some pretty nasty messages from bride since. I am not going to reply anymore on this thread but thank you all for your support x”

I’m going to guess that she’s had a meltdown and is really throwing her toys out of her pram at this point. Well done for stepping away, I now feel genuinely sorry for her future husband at this stage. Is he aware of what she’s like?

I'd do it if she contacts you and is apologetic to you and your mutual friend. If not, walk away. Being stuck with paying for the dress etc is annoying, but why not wear the gear and go out for dinner with someone special. It was going to be a terrible day sucking up to a monster anyway.

Please read the OP's updates @AnnainAix

Interesting someone so selfish and inconsiderate has found someone to marry her😄. But yep life is not fair

All depends on who she's marrying! 😆

Too true😁🤗

I would message her to say that unless she apologises to your friend then you do not wish to be her MOH

Cancel the cheque🙄

‘😀Cancel the MOH!’

@DeadMabelle