Complaining neighbour

[ivise]

So today for the first time my neighbour has left me a note on the door saying that my child has been loud for some time now and that she can't take it anymore. She is new to the flat and is down bellow me . Sometimes she works from home which I didn't know . She says she can hear a constant running and stomping (probably when she plays ball or ballon) yes my child can be quite active but what can I do , tell her off , she is starting school next September so I am hoping that will give her some peace but I am not sure what else I can do . Now when the weather is nice I am sure we will be out more often ,but of course when she is home . She seems quite considerate of understanding I have a child and that the floors are awful but I am not sure what she wants me to do .
Anyone has dealt with this situation? How would you approach someone with the note like that ?
Bear in mind I have never had complaints from anyone before . Also she has had complain from neighbour down bellow her about loud music in evenings which she did disturbed us as well .Considering it was after 11pm but we never complained about it , it's has been stopped from what I have heard x

People who live in flats do have to live with the sound of the people above and below them. It's reasonable for your small child to be running about (assuming she's not doing it wearing a pair of Doc Martens!) during the day. It's not like you're doing workouts or - as your neighbour was! - playing loud music at night. I can see why it's a bit annoying for your neighbour but she can't expect you to keep a pre-schooler sedentary and quiet all day.

First thing. Does she have shoes on ? Do you have carpet? Can you move her play to the other side so its not directly over the neighbour. ?

Flats are horrible. Noise carries and it can be mentally draining for all parties. Just try to limit "running" to outdoors

No balls in the flat surely?
Have you got some outdoor space your dc can play?

@Maddy70 no no shoes ,she is just an active child not the type sitting on sofa but I don't see her running all day too , so I am confused , I think because she works from home it can be difficult for her to, but again it's not my fault she is home all the time .my daughter goes to nursery as well .I don't really know how else we can be . I will try minimise ball games to outdoors now ,but I am not walking on my tip toes all day . I think these floors are awful. When we had neighbours downstairs with kid we heard same noise but no one cared during day time .

@Mindblownawaybyfog no we don't , and it's not all the time all day or every day so I don't see the problem , balls are light not basketball or football balls . I think the floors are really awful and she seems the type who is very very quiet . When we had a mum with kid living there before I heard them walking and playing all the time but we never cared that much . I think because she works from home and is alone it can be frustrating

Have you got hard floors? Can you get a couple of big cheap rugs to throw down in the middle of the main rooms?

@Laiste no we got carpet , but maybe I will get extra rug or smth , but these floors are so bad , even when you walk you can hear it😄

She says she can hear a constant running and stomping (probably when she plays ball or ballon) yes my child can be quite active but what can I do

Come on now. You don't allow your child to fucking play ball in the flat. That's just common sense.

@Aquamarine1029 she is not playing hard ball or with her legs ,mostly it's throwing ball to me or smth , and it's the light way little ball , I can see problem and it's barely every day ,once or twice a week . I think her problem is her running and jumping around . These floors are so bad even probably lightest jump or run it's loud . And it isn't like she is standing there jumping , just like kids do run from one room to another grabbing toys

Yup this...

No one allows ball play indoors the soynd of the ball alone would be annoying let alone the running after it.
Take her out to play that

Indoors are for quiet play. Reading. Colouring etc

I would send her a message stating that your kid goes to nursery and you have carpets. You and your child are entitled to peaceful enjoyment of your home, and she is hearing the sounds of regular, everyday activity. Suggest noise-cancelling headphones or ear plugs if she is so sensitive to everyday noise. I would consider stapling a cheap packet of ear plugs to the note, but I am a stirrer.

@Maddy70 ermm my kids won't be colouring or sitting all the on the sofa , that is not what kids do. My kid loves to play with her toys and walks from room to another room. She isn't just standing throwing ball on the floor or purposely jumping in one place to make a noise

@Fraaahnces the thing is she said to knock on her door to have a chat but yet again never responded. I wanted to ask on what she thinks I should do ? 😄

If she has politely requested that you are more mindful of the noise your kid makes I think it's completely reasonable that you make an effort to encourage your child to make less noise.

It's not an unreasonable request

YANBU, your child is entitled to move about the flat and imho a pre-schooler running and playing with a soft ball during the daytime is perfectly reasonable. Clearly shouting is to be discouraged (although a pre-schooler is going to occasionally shout and cry). I think you can show willing by getting a carpet but at the same time the neighbour is not entitled to perfect silence simply because she works from home.

Why are your floors so bad and can you do anything about them? Repairs?

@Tigertigertigertiger yes and I will be more considerate but I also won't stop my child playing . If I think the noise is taking too far of course I will tell her . The problem here is that she is home all the time and working ,so I can't really be quiet every day just for her . I understand if she said we are loud at unreasonable times. Never had issues before with neighbours,but funny because they had kids too x

@hydriotaphia literally this

Flats are bloody frustrating because everything can be heard by advice is to get a shit load of them huge play foam mats cover the whole lounge in them to reduce the noise level and then get a few large rugs to throw on top aswell yes it's bloody annoying but this may help reduce the noise
No one can expect a child to stay still and now the weather is changing out for lots of walk and play time to their energy is never ending at this age

https://www.google.co.uk/m?q=extra+large+foam+mats&client=ms-opera-mobile&channel=new&espv=1#piu=ps:16&oshopproduct=gid:10317071098164384170,mid:576462723654813732,oid:174356439253333688,iid:10382480628844709664,rds:UENfMTAzMTcwNzEwOTgxNjQzODQxNzB8UFJPRF9QQ18xMDMxNzA3MTA5ODE2NDM4NDE3MA%3D%3D,pvt:hg,pvo:3,laoid:174356439253333688&oshop=apv&pvs=0

These

I think it’s difficult on both sides and is a result of just how crap sound producing is these days.

Of course you shouldn’t have to stop your DC (within reason) from playing and you should t become anxious about it, but clearly for your neighbour it feels very noisy. I have no solution 😄 just sympathising

The neighbour is also entitled to live in peaceful enjoyment of her own home.

Noise travels downwards in buildings with this set up. I'm in a ground floor flat with an empty flat above. I hear everything from the flat above them.

All you can do is soundproofing as best as possible @ivise and obviously don't play any kind of ball game inside.

I can't believe you think it's acceptable for your DC to bounce a ball around in a flat - no wonder your neighbour is complaining

This. I am flabbergasted that you would let a child play with a ball inside a flat with hard floors. Your poor neighbour.

Flats are so hard. I am someone who is driven mad by footsteps from above. We once had neighbours who had such different walking styles that I always knew who was home. The much bigger guy was quite quiet. The smaller woman thumped with every step. We knew them socially a bit and I realised that she did just walk with a very determined heel strike!
Could you make a game of trying to walk/ run with butterfly steps? See how silently you can flit about? Trying not to make your daughter feel bad, but making it a fun new skill? Your neighbour would be so grateful.