Complaining neighbour

[ivise]

So today for the first time my neighbour has left me a note on the door saying that my child has been loud for some time now and that she can't take it anymore. She is new to the flat and is down bellow me . Sometimes she works from home which I didn't know . She says she can hear a constant running and stomping (probably when she plays ball or ballon) yes my child can be quite active but what can I do , tell her off , she is starting school next September so I am hoping that will give her some peace but I am not sure what else I can do . Now when the weather is nice I am sure we will be out more often ,but of course when she is home . She seems quite considerate of understanding I have a child and that the floors are awful but I am not sure what she wants me to do .
Anyone has dealt with this situation? How would you approach someone with the note like that ?
Bear in mind I have never had complaints from anyone before . Also she has had complain from neighbour down bellow her about loud music in evenings which she did disturbed us as well .Considering it was after 11pm but we never complained about it , it's has been stopped from what I have heard x

Agreed, there are other games the op's child can play without doing this.

I can't believe you can't read (the OP said she has carpet, not hardwood floor) but there we are! She has also said it's a SOFT ball the child is playing with, not kicking a football about or bouncing a basketball off the floor.

What is she supposed to do, tie her pre schooler to a chair each day to stop the child moving about her own home?

Oh well, I'd rather sound like knob than be the kind of person who lets their child bounce a ball around inside a flat

No, she just needs to save ball games for outside and do quieter activities inside. It's not rocket science.

If the OP has carpets and the neighbour downstairs can still hear noise to the point where it’s disturbing her then the child must be doing something more than normal play noise. We lived in a first floor flat years ago when my daughter was small and we never had any complaints from the neighbour below us - despite her playing with her toys every day as kids that age do.

Sorry but I’m with your neighbour. Your need to stop your child making such a racket that it’s pissing off the woman below you. There is nothing worse than having to put up with someone’s noisy kids when you’re trying to work or relax.

I have to agree with the majority and question whether you are a considerate neighbour since you allow your child to play ball in your flat when you know you have neighbours below you?

I'd ignore her. Only because of not coming to speak in person. Coward in my view.

If you live in a flat you shouldn't be be allowing your child to run and jump indoors. That's really anti social.

Are you being serious? Stop a pre schooler from running around her own home? OP id ignore her if she can't be bothered to even talk face to face, just a passive aggressive note. Can't believe some of the replies on here, throwback to"children should be seen and not heard" vibes🙄

Maybe your neighbour should find somewhere else to work if she's being so disturbed, you are trying to LIVE at home and working from home shouldn't take priority over living at home! You say it's a soft ball, you say it's only every few days- what else can you do.

I'm not sure she is being reasonable. OP says she plays loud music after 11pm which I think is much more unreasonable that a child making a noise.

Do you think the loud music is “revenge”? @ivise

But op it is your home and it’s normal day to day noise surely? If it’s too loud for her to work maybe she needs to go to a library or her office? We have kids above us that are noisy but I wouldn’t dream of complaining as they live there and can run and jump to their hearts content in the day time! If it was four in the morning fine but I just would never complain otherwise. Maybe she is not suited to communal living? You sound considerate and reasonable, she does not by your post. Honestly I think she is cheeky! To think she was blasting music but your kids need to tip toe on their home?

I read this as my adult neighbours clatter about upstairs like a pair of baby elephants. It never used to be like that that even during COVID so I don't know what's changed.

TF there are no children.

Wow, the old "children should be seen at not heard" tropes are alive and well with MNetters aye?

OP you're only allowed to let your child be a child when you have the money and privilege to afford a detached house you see. Because we know even if you lived in a semi the mere whiff of childhood noise outside is also enough to set the frothers off with choruses of "how dare these children spoil the birdsong and silence".

It's clear to even the hard of thinking that you're not allowing a basketball game to be played and soft balls on carpet don't make noise. Toddlers are heavy footed and her running around is perfectly normal living noise as well as important for childhood development.

Again, even for the hard of thinking, a flat block isn't going to afford the same peace and workability of a sterile office environment, and the fact that she thinks everyone should cow tow to her needs (while also being inconsiderate by playing loud music until late at night) shows how entitled and selfish she is.

No balls at all. To allow her to throw balls is really unreasonable, however small they are. No wonder the neighbour is cross. I would be too.

I think you won't win either way,

If you respond sorry, and I'll try harder... any noise thereafter will warrant more notes/complaints.

If you respond tough, can't help it etc... that will just create an issue.

I say, ignore it. But be aware. But your home is your home, the fact you're asking for advice shows you care. Just be mindful, but your daughter is free to still play too. Extra rug, no shoes.

But don't bother responding. Keep the note though incase you end up with more. If she's writing notes to everyone it may be she has a low tolerance for most things. That's her issue, not yours.

I think every one is focusing too much on the ball playing in the house......my 2 year old plays with a small foam in the house makes no noise what so ever and dosent scratch my flooring.

So now we have debated the balling playing is not the issue......I think it's probably best for you to wait until an appropriate time and knock on her door again and ask her directly what she can hear and then her suggestions for how u make a conscious effort to reduce the noise.

I would like to remind you though that noise in flats is unfortunately part and parcel and it works both ways.

No balls. whether hard or soft balls.

you scoffed at her colouring in or drawing, but does she not play with dolls / teddies / dolls house / kitchen set ? crafts / play doh etc.

Maybe find out where in the flat the neighbour is working, and see if you can get your daughter to play somewhere that isn't directly above that? Depends on how much space there I suppose but maybe a "no running / jumping / noisy play" rule applied to one room would help 🤔

Running and ball playing is for outdoors only. Only quiet play inside.

Holy crap.....half these responses are just nuts. Do people here forget what it's like with children? Children run, play, sit, stand, have toys, are loud at times and quiet. The OP has said that the ball is soft, they have carpets, there isn't an awful lot more that can be done, unless the child is tied to the sofa watching a television on mute.
This unfortunately is flat life. Noises will always intrude. It can be a crappy situation but it is the reality. The neighbour could have actually had a face to face conversation, perhaps something could have been hashed out. Instead they took the passive aggressive option -probably they were afraid they would be called out for the loud music. OP, you can only do so much, you cannot stop living your life nor stop your child doing the same. Especially since you have made it clear (alot) that nobody is making an excessive amount of noise, just you have lousy floorboards. That's not your fault and screw everyone else for trying to make it your fault.

And to everyone clutching their pearls over a child playing with a ball in their home, or doing anything other than sitting in a corner with their mouths shut, ye are exactly the type of people who write shitty passive aggressive notes to others. Please please please catch yourselves on.

My toddler plays with a ball inside of it’s raining outside 🤷🏼‍♀️I don’t think it’s unreasonable. your child needs to play!

do you own or rent? If you own you should invest in foam mats, if you rent see what your LL says, but they should try to do something to stop sound travelling.

Noises in flats can be awful. But normal noise for kids should not involve balls indoors. Particularly when you know there is a problem with sound carrying in your block. Ball noises are torture, no matter how soft you think the ball is.