To orchestrate a play date to get this dad's number?

[JaneDough94]

My daughter is friendly with another girl at her school who is slightly older and in a different class. We (me and DD) bump into her and her dad most days on the school run and the girls get along really well.

I'd like to get to know him better but I'm far too shy to just say that, so would it be unreasonable to use a play date as a reason to get his number? 😂

He's a single father, mother isn't on the scene.

WDYT?

Can't see any harm as long you know for sure that he's single, you've got nothing to lose by asking for a playdate

Urgh I wouldn't go messing around with your children's friends parents. Surely there are other men out there?

I’d advise against shitting where you eat, personally. But you never know.

He's a single father

Is he really, though?

Assuming that he is, you don't have to arrange a playdate to get his number. You can just ask him out for a drink, you know.

Only if your child isn’t going to have to deal with the potential fallout when you shag him and are ungluing yourself from him when his partner who works shifts, doesn’t do school runs but is very much present, shows up in the doorway.

Can’t see anything wrong with this but it is gonna get awkward if anything “happens”, it doesn’t work out, but your kids remain friends.

I think there's something very ick about that tbh. Manipulative. If it's meant to be it'll happen.

Surely it’s a huge risk to take dating one of your daughters friends dad? You could ruin your daughters friendship?

I duno. Prowling the school playground for dates feels off somewhat…

I did and happily married now for 25 years

Agree.

If you want to ask him out, then ask him. Using your child to do it feels creepy.

I’d stay away from him as the chance if things not working out and causing a problem for the kids isn’t worth it.

Using your child to get a man's phone number...

Nah.

I just don't think you should use your child to pick up men. A dog, yes, fine.

He's definitely a lone parent, everything his DD has said corroborates that. He was awarded sole custody. I'm absolutely certain the mother isn't on the scene.

I guess that doesn't rule out having a different girlfriend though..

Is it creepy, really? I won't bother then 😬

Go for it, OP. Good luck! No point asking MN as you’ll just get a bunch of criticism.

Not so much creepy but surely you need to be mindful of prioritising your daughter here?

Of course people will criticise. As parents we put our children first. It use them to get men's phone numbers. That's muddying the waters far too much and the children involved deserve a bit better from the parents.

Just asking: not weird
Anything under false pretences: weird

You're not wrong.

I wasn't planning on throwing myself at him though, the aim was just to get to know him a bit.

Go girl. What do you have to lose? Its just a play date. Then maybe another ..see how it goes

It's creepy because you're using your dd to get what you want. And it's selfish because you are thinking of yourself not your child.
So you get together, it ends badly and then the children are put in an awkward situation, stories possible go around school about this. You really can't see further than yourself?

It’s not creepy to be interested in this guy.

It is creepy to try to force a friendship between the kids so you can get access to him.

Strike up a conversation with him and ask if he'd like to bring his DD for a play date, where ever that may be, then go from there.

Don't use his DD as an excuse to get his number.

The kids are friends, they’d have play dates anyway, so what’s the issue?

You're really jumping the gun here. It's entirely possible after getting to know him a bit I would see we have little in common and there was no chemistry, at which point no harm would be done because, as I said, I wasn't intending on throwing myself at him..