To orchestrate a play date to get this dad's number?

[JaneDough94]

My daughter is friendly with another girl at her school who is slightly older and in a different class. We (me and DD) bump into her and her dad most days on the school run and the girls get along really well.

I'd like to get to know him better but I'm far too shy to just say that, so would it be unreasonable to use a play date as a reason to get his number? 😂

He's a single father, mother isn't on the scene.

WDYT?

Completely unreasonable. Sure sort a playdate but you're getting his number under false pretences and if you want to use his data for anything else you should get his consent.

@Didimum

The kids are friends, they’d have play dates anyway, so what’s the issue?

Would they? They haven't so far...

Well it's now my ex's current partner got with him.

Sadly he and I were still together at the time....

But as long as this one is single, there is nothing inherently wrong in meeting through the kids.

Mumsnet is very anti getting with people through work; now you can't date the school run; OLD is normally portrayed on here as a sleezy pit of sharks, where ARE people meant to meet potential love interests? At all of our (fictitious) hobby groups?

That’s an awful lot of criminal jargon to use in the very simplistic situation of meeting someone you fancy and wanting to get to know them.

It’s not false pretences if they will actually have a play date and OP just gets the chance to get to know him better that way. Do you think she will somehow lure him to her house and trap him in the cellar instead?

People get others’ numbers in roundabout ways all the time, and OP doesn’t have anything to disclose other than wanting to spend time with him, which is exactly what the invitation would be.

@Ilovelurchers

But as long as this one is single, there is nothing inherently wrong in meeting through the kids.

The 'wrong' part is using the kids. The idea of asking for a phone number on the pretence of a play date when actually OP wants it for her own reasons.

So? Kids meet new friends all the time to play with. What’s the issue with a play date with a new friend?

It's sneaky. If she wants to arrange a playdate then fine. But if she starts chatting to him on his phone number he's given to her to sort a play date then that's misleading and will most likely piss him off. Also its embarrassing for her kid.

Same with my friend, she married a dad from the school, sons were friends. They've been together 15+ years. And are very much in love.

Reasonable, but don't get your hopes up OP.

@Didimum

So? Kids meet new friends all the time to play with. What’s the issue with a play date with a new friend?

Absolutely nothing.

I have friends (a couple) who met this way. They each had a child and brought baby number 3 into the mix (20 years ago!). Still going! Just be absolutely sure there isn’t a partner on the scene and go super slowly. Think about the kids first. Take time!

She’s not said she’ll do that though, so why bother inventing a situation that isn’t happening?

It should be fairly obvious if the guy is interested in chatting or not, at which point the OP can lean into that or get the message and back off. It doesn’t have to be a drama.

I'm not completely socially inept. I'm not planning on chatting him up ffs 😂

You don't need to 'orchestrate' meeting someone at work though do you? You've just met them at work organically.OP sounds positively sleazy.

Sure if you’re lumping your child with another kid they don’t know or have no interest in, but the children are friendly and presumably like each other, so what’s the issue?

Aye, I'm a complete perv 🙄

My thoughts exactly.

They wait for one another on the school run, they get along great, which is how I came across the dad. I haven't sought him out 😄

Your thread title is about orchestrating a playdate specifically to get a man's number. You're being disingenuous here.

Of course she’s met him organically. She met him through the school run. And yes of course people orchestrate getting others’ numbers if they meet at work. Gigs, book clubs, sporting events, etc. Happens frequently.

Yes, get his number to arrange a play date.

During which I'd have the opportunity to get to know him a bit better, which is my intention.

I'm not planning on asking him for a shag.

Whit? That's some leap FFS

No,they just ask! 'Surely you must understand that orchestrate has a very different meaning?

To get to know him more – you know, like adults do all the time. Do you think OP is going to open the door in her lingerie and leave a trail of rose petals to the bedroom?

Well, I'd advise choosing your words more carefully in future. Because you've made yourself sound like a creep.

Wow some of the catastrophising and even data being brought into it!!

I don't think it's a terrible idea but would personally prefer to be asked out separately from the kids' friendship. He might feel if the girls are closer than currently and you have these playdates happening it becomes a bit of a doorstep shitting situation whereas a plain old invitation for a drink as things are keeps it simple.