To orchestrate a play date to get this dad's number?

[JaneDough94]

My daughter is friendly with another girl at her school who is slightly older and in a different class. We (me and DD) bump into her and her dad most days on the school run and the girls get along really well.

I'd like to get to know him better but I'm far too shy to just say that, so would it be unreasonable to use a play date as a reason to get his number? 😂

He's a single father, mother isn't on the scene.

WDYT?

It’s giving smutty desperate vibes…

So it can work out 😊

This

Just chat with him at a party or at the school gates and suggest a coffee or something if he's free and take it from there. No need to involve the kids.

Or if you want to be traditional get a mutual friend involved.

Don't crap on your own doorstep

Nice to see the optimistic, non judgemental side of things 😬

Seriously? You sound as if you feel threatened somehow!

Pick up men? What are you talking about? A single woman wants to meet a single man in real life and you have a problem with it.

I think the negative posters are worried the OP is after their husbands! No she's not interested! She just quite likes the look of one of the single school Dad. No prowling, sleaze, manipulation, shagging around (unless she wants to). Why is everyone so judgmental and out of touch? 😂

How is it crapping?

Don't worry, it's not your husband, it's someone who is single and she wants to get to know a bit more.

Do it :)

Op I met my husband in the exact scenario you describe with this single dad!
He asked me out but was the best decision ever! Go for it!

I find it a bit ick also and if it were a male, posing the same question in the way you worded it, I would think he was an absolute creep.

Oh fgs 😂 some of the replies here! Mumsnet hysteria at its best.
Go for it OP 😊 I have a friend who met her now partner through the kids-they were school friends. Kids now grown up, my friend and her partner are happily living together.

I don't see anything wrong with it as the children are friends! I've used my children to make platonic friendships loads, toddler groups/other school mums/fellow parents at extra curricular activities.

One i definitely encouraged a play date as I really liked the mum at the school gate - the dad ended up bringing his daughter and he was fascinating with a really interesting job so didn't quite work out how I'd imagined but was fun all the same!

Do it, you only live once

Eugh that’s a bit of a leap don’t you think. I mean I know mn like to reach at times but geez 😂😂

Hi OP! I realise you may have already made a decision,and acted on it, however you are absolutely not being unreasonable. At all, not even in the slightest. As long as the children are both happy to have a play date, then it's win/win all around. You will get to know this man better in his natural circumstances, and he in yours. As single parents especially, that's crucial. As to concerns raised about what happens if a relationship doesn't work out, that's the case across the board. Some couples meet through work, or in the same sports club, or have a relationship with someone living in the same street. Meeting through your child's school is no different, and as to awkwardness if the relationship doesn't work out, you only need to cross that bridge, IF you come to it. I wish you well with whatever you decide. Have fun, be yourself and stay safe!

Ok so what if this was a woman who seemed fun, so you thought you’d like to get to know her to be your friend. Ok to encourage a play date to get to know her and see where things go? .. I think so..

so if you’re hoping to befriend this man, and if it leads to more ok..? I guess as long as if you don’t fancy him you continue to be friendly and encourage your daughters friendship..?

It feels icky to me, I wouldn’t like it if someone used my child to get a date. Maybe just ask him if he fancies a coffee after school drop off or something

I'd do it if I was you!

I've been befriended by people who decided they wanted to be my friend (I'm not up myself. They told me later and I was flattered!) They are now 2 of my closest friends because they were right, we would/did get on.

If the girls get on you're hardly ramming it down your DD's throat. Do it for befriending purposes and take it from there.

I also had few good friends at uni who I befriended because I fancied them. Once I got to know them they were not fanciable any more and they never found out I fancied them initially. We just became and stayed friends.

Any progress on the orchestration, OP? Some summer play dates perhaps?

Hi!

Unfortunately it's a non starter.

We bumped into them during the holidays which resulted in spending an afternoon together. Me and the dad got on really well so I thought.

At the end of the day we both said we'd like to meet up again with the DC's so I did get his number and felt like a kid at Christmas.. but when I sent a text the following week to arrange something he didn't respond 🤦🏼‍♀️

I didn't make a pass at him or give off any "I fancy you" vibes that I'm aware of so I don't think I could have scared him off 😂 It was all very laid back, a child oriented day and they seemed to have a great time.

However..

I had my other DD with me on the day we spent with them and she has additional needs and can be a bit much (albeit lovely and super friendly). A friend of mine has gently suggested that some men might be put off by all of which that entails, so there's that.

It's equally as possible that his DC decided they didn't want to hang out with mine again.

Or perhaps I'm just utterly boring myself 😂

Who knows!

I haven't seen him since.

Meh, no harm done 🙂