To orchestrate a play date to get this dad's number?

[JaneDough94]

My daughter is friendly with another girl at her school who is slightly older and in a different class. We (me and DD) bump into her and her dad most days on the school run and the girls get along really well.

I'd like to get to know him better but I'm far too shy to just say that, so would it be unreasonable to use a play date as a reason to get his number? 😂

He's a single father, mother isn't on the scene.

WDYT?

Anyway...moving on..

OP is it the school holidays where you are next week?
Maybe a good time to see if said DD's friends dad would also like to see if your DD would like to go on a play date but is equally not knowing how to ask.

As this is MN and before anyone else throws it in I'll say it nicely...whispering...🤫
Don't be his child care though...

I've revised my view. I thought you'd chatted more. Just go for it, people are being bonkers. Nothing creepy about trying to get to know someone with no expectations

It is yes, they break up tomorrow.

Sod it I'll just ask tomorrow 🙂

What’s the harm to the kids though?

Yes, do! If only to annoy all the miserable people on this thread.

OP is his casual acquaintance not an organisation. She isn't bound by GDPR!

"I gave Ms OP my details strictly to organise play dates. She breached this on two occasions, once to invite me to a museum with my daughter then subsequently and perhaps more heinously to invite me for a drink in the local public house!"

There is potential for it getting awkward and that is your DD friendship that could be affected.
I would pass, on this ocassion.

It's not creepy. Go for it, get to know him more and see what happens.

This. If you want to see the man for himself then ask him honestly. Personally I hate being fake befriended by men who want more. Its very awkward and unfair, as you're seeing them in good faith as one thing and all the time its a ruse. Though perhaps men are less likely to see it that way than women given so many of them think it's fair game to do.

It won't happen if they don't speak anywhere other than the few yards of school run. One of them needs to make a move to spend a but more than 10 very public minutes in each other's company.
She can have a play date, and if there isn't anything that waves a red flag say "I would like to get to know you better, can we meet up without the kids." She doesn't have to do a pole dance on the play date!

I just find the use of orchestrate really ick. If it was a man saying it here I reckon he'd be killed.

@Didimum

What’s the harm to the kids though?

If you look up you will see my point flying over your head.

You're very prone to hyperbole.

You are confusing my disagreeing with you with misunderstanding you. It’s not my issue if you keep failing to answer very simple questions.

I really don't think so tbh. But you're entitled to your opinion obviously.

If the sexes were reversed it wouldn't be tolerated as much as you think

@Didimum

You are confusing my disagreeing with you with misunderstanding you. It’s not my issue if you keep failing to answer very simple questions.

No confusion here. Your questions don't relate to my feeling the child should not be used to gain a phone number for other purposes.

You ask about what harm it will do, that's not what I am talking about.

Why don’t you just arrange a play date and see if you two also happen to get on.

If you view something negatively, you assume harm or damage will be done. Asking what the harm or damage is is an entirely relevant question. You presumably can answer it, you just won’t.

You've clearly decided there's nothing wrong with it and are going ahead anyway. Even putting aside the sneakiness of it the impact on your child if you did hit it off and they end up being stepsiblings will be huge

It's like when people use their dogs to get dates only with actual human children

Go for it. She who dares wins.

Christ. Shall we all buy hats for the wedding off the back of a play date?

I'd be really uncomfortable if a man did this to me and I found out about it.

I'd much rather get to know someone without involving my children.

I do get the temptation though.

No. Not off the back of a playdate but if OP is considering trying to shag this man she needs to think of the future ramifications for her child