To think that if you have a destination wedding, you should pay for your guests?

[rhubarbcrumblez]

Been invited to a destination wedding that is looking to cost around 2k for flights and accommodation. Most guests I have spoken to have pulled out due to the cost and I am going to have to do the same. Bride is really upset.

AIBU to think that if you choose a destination wedding and expect a large group to come, you should pay for their travel and accommodation too?

@TheGlitterFairy - you sound very generous. Can I ask a question - why abroad?
Was it the climate, or was it the price?

@KateDelRick thank you. It was Italy rather than long haul but still! Why? We didn’t fancy a UK wedding with a cast of thousands / extended family that we don’t see generally having to be invited etc. looked at it before deciding on overseas and it would have ended up at the 300 guest mark which seemed too many (for us). So invited immediate family to include Aunts/ Uncles/ cousins and close friends. Guest list overseas came to 40 with that. Then the party post honeymoon was 150.
re weather - yes that was a part of it but as it happened it rained on the day anyway for a short time so had to change the set up from all outside to wedding breakfast inside with drinks outside….
price wise - I don’t think it was cheaper than doing a big wedding in the UK - overseas and party; came out to the same but the way we did it was what we wanted to!

Sounds like a similar scenario to me, except we choose France rather then Italy. I too have a very large family (if including all the cousins) and to be honest there are only a dozen or so that I am genuinely close to. The rest are scattered all over the place and I see them rarely. I hate to say it but there are several who I actually dislike. We sent invites out a year in advance so cheap flights could be capitalisd on. We had about 60 people attend, a lovely mix of close family and friends. Cost of venue, catering and drinks was by a magnitude cheaper (and better) then what we had been initially scouting in the UK. Throw in near guaranteed sunshine and a beautiful Provence village backdrop it was a no brainer. At least half the wedding party stayed on for an extra week to have mini holidays in the region. We agreed a fairly decent discount with the local hotel and arranged airport pick ups. Destination weddings are not suitable for all guests and we did not not expect everyone we invited to attend although the vast majority did.

We got married in Vegas, our view was that hardly anyone would come but anyone who wanted to come was welcome. We ended up having 12 guests in the end and it was perfect.

All our guests made a holiday out of it, taking in a city (or even a cruise) elsewhere in the US before joining us in Vegas and they all went home the day we picked up the car for our honeymoon.

we made no demands that they attend anything else during the 5 days we were there (some chose to come to the marriage licence bureau with us but we didn’t insist), we paid for transport to and from the wedding (in the desert) and a 7 course meal and drinks in a fancy restaurant afterwards.

of course we then threw a massive party when we got back to the UK too!

I’ve been to a few destination weddings and they have all worked similarly in that guests are welcome to do their own thing but virtually everything on the wedding day itself is paid for by the bride and groom. Just don’t expect gifts from people that fly out for the wedding!