Male carer changing daughter’s nappy

[FirstTimeMummyHK]

AIBU to expect the nursery to tell me in advance that a man has now joined the nursery and will be changing my daughter’s nappy? We have been with this nursery for a while and there were only female carers there. The other day I went to pick up my daughter and there was a man sitting in there and I asked the nursery manager quietly
whether he changes my daughter and she said yes he would do. The nursery manager was very grumpy that I mentioned it. I was very nice and
polite to her. I felt that her reaction to my
question was unnecessarily grumpy. I am part of a religion where it’s quite a big deal to separate men and woman although we are not orthodox. I understand that nurseries wish to preserve equality etc and I am
a huge supporter of
men taking on caring roles. However AIBU to expect to be told in advance that a man would be changing my daughter / taking her to the toilet/ wiping her private area??

You are being unreasonable.

What tell every parent individually or announce it like a fanfare in a newsletter or poster?

Sorry, but yes - you are being completely unreasonable.

I wouldn't want personal care from a member of the opposite sex, why is it ok for female children? Yanbu

Sorry yabu. Would your religion object to women looking after young boys? No of course not. This is a trained professional

Would never have thought this was a thing. What about doctors and nurses?

I don't think this thread will go well ...

So if you have a son, you expect only men to change his nappy? The majority of nursery staff are female.

Many thanks all. I don’t think there is any need to be snarky particularly as I mentioned my background of being part of a religion (in this culture women keep themselves untouched entirely before marriage - we are not so orthodox but we do have some beliefs that there should be boundaries).

I think a number of women wouldn’t want a man wiping their vagina if they were disabled
for example. Why should a toddler’s mother not have that
choice

There was a male carer at my daughters setting and this didn’t even cross my mind.

Surely your partner would change nappies and female staff would change boys?

I've seen at least two threads recently asking exactly the same question. Have you asked multiple times OP or is there a sudden increase in male nursery staff?
A male nursery staff member changing a female baby is as fine as a female staff member changing a male baby. But if you as the parent are uncomfortable with it then you can choose to take your child elsewhere.

You do you can change nursery to an all female one. If they exist.

Apologies, I didn't intend my post to come across as sarcastic, but instead to point out the inverse scenario for context.

@HoHoHoliday many thanks. No this is my first thread.

There are males working in every type of occupation these days and why shouldn't they? If you don't want a male changing your DD, then find a female only staffed nursery! I'm sorry, but you are being very unreasonable here!

So you are actually saying we need more male nursery workers then?

I agree OP, but you’re going to get flamed.

Sorry, but its not the same as a female staff member changing a little boy. It’s just not.

Don't worry, I'm fairly confident neither female nor male nursery workers will "wipe [your] daughter's vagina" and if they try to that's when you should get REALLY worried.

Thanks all. It’s helpful to see that most parents think it’s completely fine. I feel that the nursery manager could have been less grumpy with me for mentioning it as people do come from different backgrounds/ cultures but I see it’s fairly
common practice in nurseries. I will consider changing to a female only one.

YABVU ...unless in your family you only change your daughters nappies and your husband only changes your sons nappies!

You're being massively unreasonable. If you only want female caregivers then you need to employ a nanny. I had 2 boys in nursery, where there were only female staff - should I have been outraged that their penises were being wiped clean by women?

You're basically suggesting that someone if likely to be a paedophile because they are a man. Utterly bonkers.

Why? They are both young children!

So who will be dealing with the boys' nappies?

Do 'female only' nurseries exist? Isn't that discrimination?

Where do baby boys go?