Male carer changing daughter’s nappy

[FirstTimeMummyHK]

AIBU to expect the nursery to tell me in advance that a man has now joined the nursery and will be changing my daughter’s nappy? We have been with this nursery for a while and there were only female carers there. The other day I went to pick up my daughter and there was a man sitting in there and I asked the nursery manager quietly
whether he changes my daughter and she said yes he would do. The nursery manager was very grumpy that I mentioned it. I was very nice and
polite to her. I felt that her reaction to my
question was unnecessarily grumpy. I am part of a religion where it’s quite a big deal to separate men and woman although we are not orthodox. I understand that nurseries wish to preserve equality etc and I am
a huge supporter of
men taking on caring roles. However AIBU to expect to be told in advance that a man would be changing my daughter / taking her to the toilet/ wiping her private area??

WTF?

Lesbians are women. Just because they are lesbian, it doesn't move them into the male 99% bracket - because they are not men.

What are you implying here, because I think I know, and that's preposterous and akin to saying that a straight female shouldn't change a baby boy's nappy.

Shocking.

No one has ever said all men are predators. You’re being deliberately disingenuous.

Pretending men as a class don’t pose a MASSIVELY greater (99pc v 1pc) risk to women and children is naive at best and evil at worst.

Why would it matter if lesbians were working there?!

It’s a baby. If my ds wanted to work in a nursery I can only imagine how upset and offended he would be by the implication he would do what, exactly? For God’s sake. Literally.

I'm implying that the religious lady might be all kinds of bigoted, I'm not expressing my opinion, I'm lampooning hers

I honestly think a lot of men would do it if they could get away with it.

It's not about sex , it's about power.

A grown adult man has a lot of power over a small child.

Bullies always target the weak.

@Abeona as @ilovesooty isnt going to waste their time, but im bored with nothing going on work wise today, I thought I will provide some posts for you.

A lot of the more disgusting comments have been quite rightly removed, but from one of the screenshots, you can see where the reply to a deleted post where another poster has actively suggested her husband was a paedophile. Theres plenty dotted about this thread with people saying they would openly question why a man would do this role or this is the new way abusers are getting access to children.

In an ideal world it would be females changing females and males changing males but would have no issue if it was sit in a soiled nappy for ages (15 mins plus) or get changed quickly due to staffing. Another option would be as long as the member of staff isnt alone (male or female) when changing a nappy then problem solved too.

it doesn't, it shouldn't matter that men work there either. Are you suggesting lesbians can work there, but men can't?
I am highlighting the bigotry of the opening post

That's a really sick thing to say. What evidence do you have that lesbians are attracted to sex with children? Hateful thing to say.

For me it's not even about the man being a paedophile.Its about being comfortable.

We as women should have the right to insist on female care everywhere.

I will only go to a female doctor.

My mother insists on female carers only to dress and undress her in a nursing home.

She doesn't think the male carer is necessarily going to sexually assault her , but she doesn't feel comfortable being naked in front of them. And it is her right not to have to be naked in front of them.

I think a female baby should have the right not to be naked in front of a strange man

It sounds to me like you're being pretty offensive about lesbians.

I do hope you'll e happy going back to the 1950's, as you view equality as "wokeness"

People on this thread are saying all men are attracted to sex with children?

please bear in mind the opening post. The author comes across as a bit bigoted, I am merely asking how bigoted she can be? Are you suggesting the religious bigot author is correct in her viewpoint on male carers? If she doesn't want a male changing the nappy, where might that viewpoint end? Banning people of colour? Banning different religions?

you need to learn about satire, sarcasm and nuances. Interpret it how you like, I am attacking the opening poster, not lesbians

I commented earlier in the thread but is this really about religion?

What bigoted nonsense.

Considering other people have found your post offensive too I'd suggest you ought to learn how to use satire in the correct way.

Looks like OP was trying to start a trans debate

Yes. It might extend to all of those people, and more. And that would make her a horrible, hateful, bigoted human being. But she still has the right to refuse consent to anyone she likes doing intimate care.

Can she object to them simply being in the nursery? No. Singing playing, caring for the children in any other respect? No. Educating and disciplining them? No. But in regards to autonomy over your own (or your infant child's) intimate matters - absolutely you can say no.

And anyone advocating for that 'no' to be disregarded or overruled shouldn't be working with children.

I absolutely guarantee that every single mother here would object as you have. I don’t believe any mother who says otherwise, they’re just being snarky and superior.

Presumably you object to any male being involved in the care of a child, ever?

Because all men are big horrible beasts who only ever get jobs to exploit women and children

@Snidpan The level of ignorance and disrespect you're displaying on this platform to people of different cultures from your own is astounding. Some women cover their hair in front of men who are not their husbands. Some such women may not want to have a male doctor see them naked and may then put a request into a childcare setting that men don't see their daughters naked. It's cultural - people interpret their own religion as they please, in the same way that some Muslim women cover their hair and some don't. People do what they do. Please don't call me a "religious bigot author". I fully accept that a nursery is entitled to refuse to accommodate my request as it doesn't seem to be the law.

To the people typing horrible things, just remember there is a real person behind the laptop reading it word for word.

Many thanks.

I imagine you look for this kind of thing

please bear in mind the opening post. The author comes across as a bit bigoted, I am merely asking how bigoted she can be? Are you suggesting the religious bigot author is correct in her viewpoint on male carers? If she doesn't want a male changing the nappy, where might that viewpoint end? Banning people of colour? Banning different religions?

@Snidpan I don't think that OP is the one who is bigoted here. Who are you to question her religion?