Are you reluctant to invite people to your house, in case they're jealous ?

[orchidmummy]

I know this thread is so inflammatory, but I'm curious to understand if you ever think this ?

I've known a few very well off people who are very careful about who they let in their home because they've experienced negative consequences / being treated differently after people realised how well they live.

Do you think it's just in their head or is this actually a thing ?

If you're well off and live very nicely, do you ever hesitate to invite, say your children's school friends round, in case it creates jealousy and your kid ends up at a disadvantage?

Ha ha ha ..... no.

I think its a humble brag.

😂

This. Anyone who was jealous of my house would need an eye test.

No, but then I only take visitors in the servants' quarters.

It's not really about me, so I'm not humble bragging.

But I know quite a few people who think this way.

So you think they're humble bragging ?

I’m “well off and live very nicely”.

last night I was at a party where I suspect the house was worth about £30m

It’d be very foolish to imagine that there are not plenty of people out there better off than me.

so no, this is not something that occurs to me ever

That's not the point.

The point is, that if someone comes around and they don't live as nicely as you, will they get jealous and treat you differently ?

I don't. Like you, I go to people's houses that are much bigger than mine and I don't hate them after lol. But apparently there are people who do.

There's always going to be people who live better or worse. It's not that the individuals I'm talking about think they live the best. They're just anxious in case someone they invite lives worse than them and then treats them worse after.

Humble bragging, but it was 20 years ago. We lived in an amazingly house, overlooking the sea and built on stilts. Friends thought we had a flat in it. However it was a short term company let so easy to enjoy and not feel braggy.
More recently I’ve bought a breathtaking house, however it needs a lot of work done on it, it’s too isolated to bring up children in it and had been on the market for 18 months. I probably over explain every time I mention it host.

No, but then again I don't invite riff raff.

I know people are jealous of my carpet.... the crushed Ella K puff pattern with banana accent has caused many hatred side eyes...

No. Friends don't judge and accept you for what you are. Mind you I don't have a posh place but have friends with vvvv posh places...I'm not jealous..why would I. They a friend. one friend who you think is posh is being abused by her husband (financially mostly but it's becoming emotional) so I'm just an ear to her at the moment with suggestions of where she go for help...her house like something you see on a magazine. I'm not jealous just concerned.

Love this...a place to relax in...

I used to feel like this when I was a kid about inviting people to my parents house, embarrassed because it was so nice and big

Now I live in a small house and I'm worried I'll be judged for other stuff

Err no. Sort of the opposite, I live in a nice house but worth that people will think it’s a mess (because it is most of the time). I’m always jealous of small houses where everything is neat and tidy.

A measure of a person is not what they keep, it's what they give.

I couldn't give a shit if someone's got a £5m worth of art on a wall, if they act like their better than others because they bought something... They can get to fuck.

But no, I dont avoid inviting people around because they might be jealous .. I do t invite people around because I hate people .. and I'm a cunt.. so. It works well.

My DM was (and still is) very into property/ houses. Parents weren’t wealthy (normal middle class type income level) but we grew up in a huge house and as a young teen I was occasionally surprised by new friends’ comments on it. I don’t know if my parents’ friends thought anything of it though.

Eh no, I can't say that has ever been a problem for me.

Unfortunately yes. I have lost a pair of friends from uni over it. We used to meet up once a year for a catch up and I would drive us to Alton towers or similar. I quickly learned to underplay how well I was doing. At one point my husband and I owned three houses between us (unusual, short term circumstances and all mortgaged etc) and I couldn't tell them or let them stay with me because they were still living the student life of drugs and music festivals and lived in tiny studio apartments. The friendships fizzeled out eventually. Just completely different life stages. At 25-27years old.

Nobody would be jealous of my house, so I don’t have that problem.
I’ve never felt jealous walking into someone else’s house who have more than me either.
I’m not even slightly materialistic though, so none of that appeals to me anyway.

I remember when my son was little he had a friend over for tea. During the meal the friend said “my mum said I wasn’t to say anything about our house being much bigger than yours” 🤣

I have what, if it were ever tidy, could be considered a large insta-worthy house. My friends don’t hate me, mainly because they’re friends, but also because they know how much blood, sweat and tears have gone into making it the family home that it is. They know the trials and tribulations we have gone through as a family, in that house. They know there is always a shoulder to cry on, a bed to sleep in and booze to drink. They know it’s party central and a place to get away to for some semblance of peace. The same applies to my kids friends.

Name changed for this. Yes sort of. Proper friends or long term friends of my children I don’t mind, because I know they accept us as we are (and to be clear, the house isn’t spectacular, just pretty big.) And messy.

But I am reluctant to have, say, a whole class party (or even a 15-20 kid party) at my house because yes I know that that will make some people in that group see me and my child differently. And yes, I have had a few slightly unpleasant comments.

I just notice that prices increase dramatically when people arrive to confirm a telephone quote!

Not a mansion, but a lovely family home.

I don't live in an amazing house but it's all relative. We are in a comfortable home and have nice stuff.

I did have a friend who would come round and point out all the ways in which her studio flat was inadequate, how she much preferred my home, etc. We shared a hobby and had become friends through that; in our 30s. There was more to it but I stopped being friends with her after a while, it was just weird. I never judged her, her life had gone differently to mine, that's all. In fact I admired her for her independence.