Are you reluctant to invite people to your house, in case they're jealous ?

[orchidmummy]

I know this thread is so inflammatory, but I'm curious to understand if you ever think this ?

I've known a few very well off people who are very careful about who they let in their home because they've experienced negative consequences / being treated differently after people realised how well they live.

Do you think it's just in their head or is this actually a thing ?

If you're well off and live very nicely, do you ever hesitate to invite, say your children's school friends round, in case it creates jealousy and your kid ends up at a disadvantage?

B

No, I’m the opposite, I don’t invite people
to my house because I’m embarrassed, not a very nice area, rented run down house.

I think this general attitude can be a bit more far-reaching than houses, though. I had a friend who was in my life for about 15 years from uni years onwards. We were both in flatshares, single etc when we met, but eventually I bought a small flat, got promoted, met dh, bought a house, had a child, was promoted again. My friend is single and still in a flatshare. It became awkward because she was very clearly unhappy and resented me for having moved forwards (despite working hard - they didn't fall on my lap). One of the last times we met, I mentioned that I was feeling a bit burnt out at work, and that our dc probably had adhd and that it was taking a bit of a toll on me, and she shrugged it off quite coldly, telling me that I'm still extremely lucky, and just changed the topic. I was borderline depressed and felt terrible that my friend was so cold (and yes, usually we spend a long time talking about her woes). She particularly resented that I had a house, even though it is a small terrace. In London that can be very contentious and I almost never mention that I own a house, unless specifically asked.

This. The right, humorous reply to a humble brag question :). Reminds me of job interviews where your greatest weakness is your quest for perfection…

This is what worries me!
I'm not worried that people will judge me, but I do worry they won't invite us back to theirs. Or that they'll think we just don't have as much in common if we have such an obviously expensive house.

Hello! I'm sure I'll be accused of "humble bragging" but I don't like people seeing where I live especially where I grew up. My family came from Scotland over 100 years ago and bought a farm in a now posh area for cheap, they also bought another farm for cheap during the war with a big house. I grew up in that big house and despite my family not having money people would assume I was loaded for growing up there. I now live in a house joined to the farm in that same now posh area and I know that people make comments about it "how does she live there when she only works on a farm?" Etc.

But even if my parents were super loaded and I had a big trust fund I'd still consider it no ones business how I lived. When I meet rich people or hear of them in there huge mansions I don't think they should feel embarrassed. I just feel embarrassed because I've had negative experiences with people who I thought were friends making comments about it and being catty about it.

Weird rant here and I don't think I even answered your question! People will always be jealous of something

His parents one might call them a ‘riff raff’ type.

Seriously, @Femme2804?

I tend not to invite people round anyway.. ours is a 3 bed small 20 yr old house, but it annoys me how people's eyes are EVERYWHERE rather than looking at me as we talk. Lots of my stuff is either what I like or inherited from my family, so no way an Ideal Home type of place. It suits me & I'm happy with it. Other people can have what they liike, too!