Are you reluctant to invite people to your house, in case they're jealous ?

[orchidmummy]

I know this thread is so inflammatory, but I'm curious to understand if you ever think this ?

I've known a few very well off people who are very careful about who they let in their home because they've experienced negative consequences / being treated differently after people realised how well they live.

Do you think it's just in their head or is this actually a thing ?

If you're well off and live very nicely, do you ever hesitate to invite, say your children's school friends round, in case it creates jealousy and your kid ends up at a disadvantage?

No. The end.

I can relate to this, so you’re not alone 💖 also working on it :(

I definitely don't put my camera on for work, put it that way

Wallpapers all the way. It just happens that my office overlooks the neighbours garden, which looks like a golf course. Our house isn't actually that fancy

Why are people saying this thread is ridiculous? These are genuine experiences. Most people are jealous fuckers. The

^

Totally agree

MN vs reality eh

This is a fair point. I hadn’t considered it but indeed I see that people might be jealous if they came around to our house. Of all that extra free time they must think I have since I clearly don’t spend it cleaning or tidying.

I really don't like having people in my house anyway, regardless of where I lived.

I remember selling something and allowed the person to come in the entryway and she just had the biggest amazed look on her face and then she took out her phone and asked if she could go around and take pictures of my house.

Then I took an Uber ride home one day and as we pulled into the entrance of the estate, he kept saying this is a really nice area and he repeated it several times and then when he pulled up in front of my house he asked me several times, you live here? I suppose I was dressed really casually, t-shirt and leggings.

I guess I just found the over the top gushing about my house a bit embarrassing more than anything else.

Well obviously this is how it should be but that is not the question

I do live in a house that people generally say wow when they arrive. We have had one or two jealous school friends over the years, and didn’t pay too much attention to. They were ten/eleven at the time so why would we. Kids tend to choose nice friends that do not measure each other in this way. My friends mostly all live in lovely houses too, so not an issue.

😀

An aside but in work people tend to keep their home address not secret but don't talk about their homes a lot. Partly because knowing someone's address reveals their perceived wealth of their spouses income and people being the gossiping people they are will make various inferences about them.

X has a house the size of half a county so why are they going for the promotion? How can you talk about the cost of living when you live in Y? You can't suffer from work pressure when you have so much wealth tied up in a property? He/she is of a certain class?

Also houses have always been status sysmbols.....obvs. Royal Palaces and national trust anyone?.

I wonder if people are concerned their property is an assertion of status rather then just somewhere pleasant to live in?

One of my friends in college many years ago came from a wealthy family and lived in an amazing house. The rest of us were very regular This was before interior design etc became such a big thing.
She was a very down to earth girl so no one would suspect the wealth. She had a few boyfriends who started to treat her differently as soon as she brought them home. Her home was the sort of place you would be afraid to breath in.
She eventually met a guy who didn't even seem to notice the opulence..she married him!!
Has a pretty normal house herself and that's deliberate as due to inheritance she could be far fancier but it made her uncomfortable so she doesn't want to live like that.

What? I never have visitors, my life is difficult enough having to count the teaspoons each day before the maid leaves. Life can be very trying.

I feel you OP.

I do find that people get rather uncomfortable when they see the helicopter on the lawn. I mean, it's only a Jetranger for heavens sake, and the Bentleys aren't even new, anymore, they're at least four months old.

I have the opposite problem. But I own my house, and I have a friend who rents a nicer place but she'd swap if she could. So I try not to moan too much. But I really have to sort out the bathroom.

My house is OK - I wouldn’t think anyone would be jealous but I have friends who live in everything from a mega detached 4-bed to a small flat. I live in quite an affluent area and have been in to some amazing houses where I’d love to live, but I just think these people are lucky.

I think that if people think that way you are better of discovering it and ending the friendship.

however, there was a recent thread about a family who always claimed they were hard up but had actually saved 800k for each of their kids. I suppose if my friend claimed poverty and then I discovered they lived in a mansion I would have some doubts about their honesty and our friendship. Otherwise, I couldn’t give two hoots.

I live in a tiny two-bedroomed house. The first friend I invited to see it made it clear she wasn’t impressed. Another friend, having seen my house, was too embarrassed to invite me round to her own place. Real friends are happy to come and stay and invite me back.

I have actually seen this in the wild.

One of my friends had a small party for her 10 year old. Other school friends were invited and she has a really lovely big Victorian house. My DS calls it 'the mini mansion'.

One of the mother's jaw just dropped and then she had a face on her the whole party. I went to the kitchen at one point only to see her coming down the stairs after clearly snooping around.

When she left she said to the hostess; 'Thanks for inviting us to your fancy house' and stalked off. Since then she bitches about the hostess to all and sundry and says things like 'with all her money wy does she drive a ford ka' etc.

I wouldn't mind either, host or go to a better house.
In my situation, full time mum and working, most of my friends houses are better, newer and tidier.
I don't have much time to visit or host anybody but I wouldn't have a problem with it if I had the time.

I think for many it's a case of being not wanting to invite people because your house is messy, not on top of housework, house/furniture have seen better days. However, if you're true friends and family who care about you, then it's about seeing you rather than the house.

I have a friend who's married to a millionaire, so glad we just appreciate eachothers company and I'm really not jealous of her and anything she has. In fact, she gets a bit fed up as her DH is always wanting something new - different car, house, kitchen that doesn't need doing etc.

Aww no. My house (I’m told) is like a kids paradise. I love having my DCs friends round and they love coming. It never occurred to me someone may be jealous?

Jeepers OP.

I definitely know people who would take it badly if the went to pick up one of their kids from a new friend 's house and the house was big and expensive.
I try to avoid them when I can just in case something good has happened to me and it makes them upset if I accidentally mention it

I'm only ever jealous when I walk into someone's house that is clean and tidy ... I dream of having one of those!!!