To always offer lunch - opinions

[Springtime111]

I just wanted to know if I'm unreasonable over something.

DH has 2 daughters with their own homes and partners. Growing up they lived with their mum, but regularly visited us, and I always made lovely meals when they came to visit, which was weekly.

Fast forward 16 years, they have their own lovely homes/partners etc, one local, (one an hour away) and I was looking forward to maybe the odd lunch cooked for us for a change, but when we visit (usually happens to be in the realms of lunchtime) they never have as much as made a sandwich or offered a biscuit! We end up grabbing a sandwich from a shop on the way home because we're starving.

Today, one is visiting with her DH and my DH has said we will do lunch for them.

If he wants to do it, that's fine, but tbh, I got a bit snappy and I've said I'm not helping, as it's never been reciprocated in 16 years and feels unfair to always be on us.

AIBU?

I don’t think you being unreasonable, when my DD bf used to visit the 1st question he was asked was he hungry and 9 out of 10 the answer was yes. Thankfully DD has ditched him and told us it was 3 years before she was offered a biscuit, his parents rationale was they thought she was too picky. Glad to see the back of him.

Have you considered that their lunchtime might be different to yours? Maybe they get up late and have a late breakfast? It might be worth exploring their eating schedules and if they are different to yours either adjust visiting times or maybe feel less resentful.

@Springtime111
Next time you go to visit take your own sandwich and a flask of tea and shame them.

What happens when you are there, do they sit and have lunch or wait until you leave? I assume they make you tea?

How did DH get on using the lunch?