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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

312 replies

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 14:29

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

OP posts:
Bluebell247 · 17/05/2024 14:31

You don't need to eat at the same time as other people, especially not if all of your eating habits are unusual.

Shinyandnew1 · 17/05/2024 14:32

I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance

What’s wrong with the wine in pubs? There’s usually different ones to try!

MaybeImbad · 17/05/2024 14:32

Honestly, if you’re on holiday, can’t you eat and drink as you please? Why can’t you skip breakfast and have lunch if that’s what you want to do? It doesn’t matter if your relatives have breakfast, you can all still enjoy dinner together.

Order and drink whatever wine and as much of it as you want.

Sorry, I don’t want to be rude but I don’t really understand the issue here.

coxesorangepippin · 17/05/2024 14:33

Sounds like you dont really want to go

minipie · 17/05/2024 14:34

Just go to breakfast but have a cup of tea or coffee. Then get your own lunch.

This seems like an odd reason not to go if you otherwise enjoy the trip.

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 17/05/2024 14:34

I travel alone. Hell is other people

bloodyplumbing · 17/05/2024 14:34

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 17/05/2024 14:34

I travel alone. Hell is other people

Looking at OPs regime I would agree!

Other people maybe not so much!

Unmute · 17/05/2024 14:35

Just don't eat breakfast - I don't see what the issue is?

Ladyj84 · 17/05/2024 14:36

Go away with many family and never had a problem eating different times, we all ate dinner at night together but the rest we did as we pleased

Sharptonguedwoman · 17/05/2024 14:36

Maybe......have some fruit for breakfast so you can be sociable. Grab a sandwich or similar for lunch to keep you going till 8pm. I would go but recognise what you need. I have holidayed with a friend who can run on empty all day but I need to eat (different metabolism plus meds) three times a day. 8pm is too late for me, 7pm perfect. If you can't bring dinner forward, more fruit to keep you going.
Maybe just eat a little less if you are worried about weight?

Wildhorses2244 · 17/05/2024 14:37

What timings does the breakfast run?

Could a good option be that relatives have breakfast on their own, you have breakfast at 11 or something, and then all have dinner together at a time of their choosing? So more like your normal 16/8 routine?

Crunchymum · 17/05/2024 14:39

You seem to have quite a warped issue with food and wine?

Why is dinner your "only" chance to have wine? If someone else drinks "more than their share" Why don't you order more?

Are you seriously saying there is absolutely no wine in any pub that you will drink?

Why can't you eat 3 meals? Or pick lunch instead of breakfast if you are only wanting two meals?

Maddy70 · 17/05/2024 14:39

Have fruit for breakfast
Get a sandwich for lunch
Proper dinner

Really not seeing the issue

FineWordsButterNoParsnips · 17/05/2024 14:40

I don't get what's the issue? You can eat whenever you want, wherever you are.

Heatherbell1978 · 17/05/2024 14:41

I don't understand why you can't just eat what you like - skip breakfast and grab your own lunch. I go on holiday with a group of girls every year and we eat out together each night but during the day just eat according to our own schedules to an extent. Some might have a sit down lunch, some not. I don't really eat breakfast but like going for a wander for a coffee etc. We're all adults and accept e tune is different.

sexnotgenders · 17/05/2024 14:44

If your diet/food choices are controlling your life to the point you can't go on a holiday, then I think you need to reconsider your approach. Food shouldn't control your life

Runningbird43 · 17/05/2024 14:44

You follow 16:8- so you normally fast 16 hours 8pm to 12pm the next day?

yet you can’t go 11 hours 9am till 8pm?

what do you do on holiday? I have found the best way to keep weight stable is activity. If you just lie in the sun you will gain weight unless you cut your food intake. If you spend the day swimming, walking, shopping, paddle boarding, sight seeing, taking advantage of any activities you will have much more freedom around food without gaining weight.

recent holiday I went on- 15-25k steps a day. Ate 3 meals, out all night. Gained no weight.

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 14:45

My relatives would say the breakfast is paid for, so wasteful not to eat this. I find that if I eat early then I am hungry for all meals. Eating sparingly for 3 meals doesn't work for me.

Also I can't order more wine as it will look greedy and relatives will only order a small amount trying to appear 'good'. The younger person will drink a lot if I have the name of ordering it. Cost not an issue.

Hols with dh, we eat and drink and no notice taken as we have the attitude, we work hard all year so make the most of the week away.

OP posts:
Mintchocco · 17/05/2024 14:45

I am all for maintaining a healthy weight and making wise food choices but this makes for a very depressing read.

If you will insist on remaining this strict with food even whilst on holiday then as others have said I am not seeing the issue with you not eating breakfast or just having some fruit. I have just returned from a week away and I am not a breakfast eater - I joined the others and just had a coffee.

Mintchocco · 17/05/2024 14:46

can you not just ignore your relatives?

minipie · 17/05/2024 14:47

Stop worrying about what people will say

you know what works for you

ErrolTheDragon · 17/05/2024 14:49

I'm 5'1", 63 and don't eat breakfast unless I'm on holiday and about to head out for a very active day. Eating if you don't want to and it doesn't suit you 'to be sociable' is nuts ... I just drink tea.

Just act like a grownup and make your own food choices - have some lunch, whether they want any or not, and then dinner.
Sometimes on holiday if we're not sure if we'll be able to get lunch easily we'll carry some protein bars - that sort of thing may make the logistics easier.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/05/2024 14:50

None of this seems like a good reason to miss spending time with loved ones.

MojoDojoCasaHouse · 17/05/2024 14:50

They don’t sound like fun people to go on holiday if they’re going to judge you. I wouldn’t bother.

RoseUnder · 17/05/2024 14:51

You clearly aren't in much need of a holiday - or sunshine!

Just eat what you want, when you want it. It's a resort not a prison!