AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

[user1471554720]

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

Sounds like the holiday with relatives will be no fun for you. To be fair it does sound a bit joyless and as though they have a lot of rules - must have breakfast, can’t have lunch, must order fixed amount of wine and no more etc. I wouldn’t go!

So you can't eat when you want, can't order wine when you want and have nowhere to put yours clothes but this supposed to be a holiday?

Sounds fabulous.

Firstly if cost is no issue then get yourself your own room. Sharing with 2 adults sounds awful.

Then just set your agenda and keep to it. I don’t usually eat at breakfast time and my DM would mention it every single day if we were together but I just smile vaguely and say I’ll have something later.

DM also doesn’t drink much whereas I love a few glasses of wine. I just go ahead and do as I please because I’m an adult.

Try it, it’s great and when they make comments just say the same dull phrases, ‘yes, we’re just different really,’ ‘yes, you said that but it works for me.’

I follow slimming world but went on holiday 2 weeks ago and enjoy eating without thinking and drinking what I wanted - 4 lbs gained and a lovely time had by all. Yea it will take time to come off but there is no way on god's earth I'd miss a holiday because I'll gain a few pounds. And why on earth are you all cramped into the same room with relatives -surely you & DH have your own space.
Frankly the whole set up sounds weird but I can't work out if it's you or them!

Could you go all inclusive so they can have breakfast and dinner but you can have lunch and dinner, you also wouldn't have to worry so much about sharing the wine.

The price difference often isn't much.

Tbh I would ditch the diet while away and enjoy my holiday without restriction

You're a grown up OP. Eat and drink when and whatever you like. This sounds far too much like hard work to me.

Your relatives sound like terrible holiday companions.

I can't see the issue here. When DH and I go away we generally have a hearty breakfast and don't then eat until the evening. We might have an ice cream at some point during the day.

Just have an apple or something in the day if you are hungry. Or take something from the breakfast buffet to have later (I know shock horror, it's a crime on MN to do that).

No you do NOT have to put in more work. Being inside a body is not a moral failing.

And I a m sorry @FrogsWormsandCaterpillars . You read a thread by a woman who has extreme food issues and body issues and you say 'Yep- you are fat?' (Oh no, I'm sorry, you piously say you won't use the word 'fat' while saying fat)- then you are quite frankly a keyboard warrior who enjoys running other people down.

I'd rather be 'fat' than a nasty cow.

Me neither. Just do this and let them suck it up. What and when you eat is entirely down to you.

Do you enjoy yourself on holiday? If you don’t enjoy it don’t go. If it is purely just the eating times and you enjoy it others just eat when you want. Lots of breakfast buffets allow you to take food away with you. Just grab some and have it for lunch instead

It’s completely normal to eat lunch on holiday or any other time. They are being weird not having it. It’s fine to say I’m grabbing some lunch, it’s then up to you if you eat any breakfast. An egg in the morning isn’t going to make you fat if you did want to break your regime.
If you don’t fancy going on the holiday then don’t go.
I recently went away with a relative doing 16/8 fasting and tbh it was a pain. We had a day out one day which involved a lot of walking. I asked her if she was going to grab some breakfast before she went out and she said no which is fair enough. Then come 11am she has a funny turn, feels faint, can’t carry on and we had to look for somewhere for her to get some nutrition.
Its best to have some flexibility with food.

You will likely put very little actual weight from increased fat on during a week even if you ate loads. Any weight gain is probably just water weight / bloat from heat, change in routine etc.

Good Lord this is a strange post. Are you honestly saying that you can’t make your own choices, can’t buy your own food and eat it whenever you like? Are so affected by what these other people think of you? That all wine in pubs is ‘rotten’? Just don’t go on holiday if you can’t manage the rotten wine & managing your food requirements? Have you seen a counsellor about your clear food & drink disorders?

I wouldn’t go on holiday with anyone who monitors what I eat!! Why would they say it’s wasteful if you don’t have breakfast? Or think your are greedy for having too much wine? Swerve this holiday. It’s sounds uncomfortable

When I eat the lunchtime sandwich with relatives I try to eat it discreetly

Why do you need to be discreet about eating a sandwich? I'm confused.

Seriously OP, go on the holiday, eat when you want, don't eat when you don't want to eat. Stand up for yourself. If someone nicks your wine, stab them with your fork, they'll not do it again.

Sounds like you have real issues with food and drink and for your families sake, you shouldnt go.

It’s not a food issue to not wish to go hungry all day.

Just decline, it sounds exhausting even reading it.

Have you ever considered that half-board doesn’t suit you? In your shoes, I would be looking at self-catering with restaurants on site.

I don’t understand, why do you always have to eat at the same time? I wouldn’t go on holiday with anyone who was going to constantly police when I ate. You just don’t even sound comfortable enough with these relatives to have a nice time vacationing together.

Go to breakfast, don't eat anything but pick up a couple of pieces of fruit and a croissant or whatever. Have it when you naturally feel hungry then enjoy your evening meal.

I'm not sure this holiday is a good idea but I'd say get your own room. It's far easier to be independent on holiday with your own room to 'pop to' when you've had enough of everyone. Fake a headache and stock up on wine 🍷 😂

Everything about this sounds grim. I wouldnt bother and just do your own holiday!

Could you do brunch and then dinner at 7?

Are you all active during the day?
I tend to get over 20,000 steps in when sightseeing.
If on a resort aqua fit, swimming, pilates dancing in the evenings

Personally, I definitely needs some breakfast and am happy to skip lunch. I love a good Hotel continental breakfast with lots of fruit and cheese.

Why not drop the half board part and go and experience different places for lunch or dinner. Much more fun.

I hope you have a good holiday.

Wow, this “holiday” keeps sounding worse and worse. Seems like you’ve come to MN to ask if you’re allowed to not be held captive by the world’s most tedious people for a week.