AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

[user1471554720]

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

It’s hard to describe the hell of other people performing a running commentary on what you’re eating and drinking if you’ve never experienced it, often down to the level of an olive or peanut from a gratis bowl of bar snacks.

Everything, including timings, becomes a tedious and increasingly unbearable litany of pointless moral judgement in the midst of a supposedly ‘relaxed’ trip.

How is it wasteful, you are not getting it then scraping it into a bin, if you choose not to have breakfast, that's your choice. Also, order as much wine as you want. Why are you behaving like a child, seeking their approval. Who put them in charge of you.? It all seems very controlling, and you are allowing it. Be an adult and stop letting them walk over you.

Just don’t go. It’s your holiday too and it sounds like they’re dictating or at least making you feel uncomfortable for having different habits to them.

This sounds like a really miserable trip so don’t go.I totally get where you are coming from- I loose fitness over holidays and I don’t really think it’s worth it.

A very odd post, just eat when and what suits you. You don’t have to eat breakfast just because others are and you can grab a sandwich or something for lunch even if they’re not? Can’t see the problem.

Why not go self-catering for autumn holiday?

Buy in all the breakfast, lunch and alcohol to make yourselves, when you want to eat and drink

With the money saved, buy dinner - either going out as two couples separately or all together.

Or consider going on a April/May holiday instead of Sept/Oct holiday - so you have all summer to lose weight?

It all seems incredibly petty and fussy for everyone going away on holiday to have such exact timings that you don't even follow anyway, regardless.

Oh dear, why are you letting them dictate to you like this?
Make it clear that you don't eat breakfast - ask for a room only tariff maybe?
Who cares if ordering more wine looks greedy? If you want wine then order it (and be prepared to pay for it).
If they make an issue of it, tell them clearly that they are making you uncomfortable to the point that you have to reconsider going on holiday with them.
Also your last point above is good - just tell them that.

Good grief just don’t go! It all sounds very stressful!

You're an adult or small child needing permission?

Just don't go on the holiday as it really doesn't suit you. Keeping to your current weight is good for your mental and physical well-being, so carry on doing this.

First world problems?

Seriously, that's what you want to say???

It might seem trivial to you, but it's still a real life situation that OP has to navigate.

Have a little more empathy, please.