AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

[user1471554720]

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

Honestly, it doesn’t sound fun to be on holiday with any of you.

Why are people so rigid about what/when they eat and what/when other people eat?

If you don’t want breakfast. Don’t have it.

It’s weird. And I could imagine choosing whether to holiday with people in my life based on their wine selection.

This whole thread is weird.

Take some protein bars with you to get you through the lunch-dinner gap.

I agree. You don't all have to be eating together all the time. Skip breakfast, eat lunch, have 17 meals a day - do what you want, nobody else in your group's going to be that interested.

I'm like you, if I eat breakfast I'm hungry all day, unless I have a huge full English, but otherwise I can not eat until lunchtime and then I'm fine. Food makes me hungry!
I would definitely struggle get through until 8pm no matter how much breakfast I ate. Aoni sympathise completely.
But I would also just do what I wanted on holiday and not let other people dictate my schedule. I'd have a long lie in while they eat breakfast, have lunch at about 2pm and join them for dinner.

Why the hell do you give so much credence to what your relatives will say about your eating pattern?

Are you not an adult? Fully grown, making all your own decisions? Eat whenever it is better for you to eat? Don't give a damn what they think. Eat when it is best for you, don't eat when you're not hungry - eat when you are? What is the big deal?

If they judge you - that displays their character not yours. Tell them to jog on.

This.

Probably not really the right board for you OP as the majority of people here who are suggesting just have some fruit, tea, coffee etc. are not familiar with the intermittent fasting that you are trying to do. I've been doing the same since September last year and have lost 30 pounds doing it, I really wouldn't want to put it back on either. If your relatives are not supportive of your choices, then no, I wouldn't be going either

Just don’t Have breakfast

just do have lunch

the sky will not fall on your head

your relatives can eat when they want to

you can eat when you want to

why are you all keeping a claustrophobic close eye on eachother’s eating and drinking?

I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

If a small bottle of wine is 18.8 cl, then that's 153 kcal. Not so much.
What is a small bottle of wine to OP, does anyone know?
I wonder if something besides the food schedule may contribute to the weight gain.

I'm sorry but...what??

Eat when you want. Drink when you want.

You're really putting this much thought into mealtimes?! So much so that you'd rather not go abroad?

Tea and coffee are fine when fasting, without milk.

Blimey OP, you're making this ridiculously complicated. Just eat a hearty breakfast, have a sandwich for lunch and then get sloshed over dinner. That's what I'd do. You say one of your relatives likes to quaff the old vino, so why don't you just order a bottle each and you pay for both if cost isn't a problem. I bloody would. I agree that wine in pubs can be a bit hit and miss but there's usually something half decent. Do you only drink £80 a bottle Chateux Neuf de Neuf at the hotel or holiday park? Why don't you have a nice gin & tonic or even a cocktail at the pub?

Alternatively just don't go on the holiday.

It's a ridiculous reason not to go away.

You need to learn the womanly art of not giving a fuck. Why is everyone else allowed to drink more wine and comment on food but you're not? Just say what you want and stick to it.

If you don't want to go, just say so, you don't need to make up reasons.

You can eat whenever suits you.

I think be a bit flexible. Have healthy breakfast with them with protein and fruit/veg e.g. omelette and some fruit. Get yourself something at lunchtime to tide yourself over and then enjoy the evening meal with them (or don't go at all)

You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. If your relatives are going to be making issues about it constantly while you are away then I understand you are not wanting to go.

I say this as someone who is quite strict about what I eat, your life sounds utterly miserable. You should be able to deviate from such strict eating regimes for a week or two a year. If you can’t there’s bigger issues at play imo

If you don’t feel comfortable stating your wants and needs (what you would like to eat/ when you would like to skip meals) to your relatives, maybe you’re not close enough to them to join them on holiday. Don’t let their comments about your food, determine what YOU do.

Why does it matter so much what they think?

Can you book room only or dinner only?

This
Life is too short and food is one of the joys.
No one comes between me and my nosh.
I keep my weight balanced by walking- couple of miles a day - including winter.

Relatives are slimmer than me and like getting dressed up for dinner taking photos etc. They also may point out if some random person is fat.

I have no problems gping on a holiday in summer as evenings are fine and I can exercise off the weight gain.

I always used to go on 4 day city breaks could eat what I wanted and weight came off easily after 4 days of hols.

I know that I should not care about eating etc but I am already 11 stone and struggle to maintain this. I take size 16 in tops, big breasts, so I don't want to increase this.

I lnow I should cut out wine for the hols but I rarely go out at home and wine is a lovely treat.

Eat what you want, drink what you want, don’t worry about what other people think about it, don’t go on holiday with people who police what you’re eating/ drinking or make you feel bad about it.

If you otherwise enjoy the holiday just say ‘I don’t want breakfast, you guys go ahead. Yes I know it’s paid for but I don’t want any.

I do want lunch, you guys don’t have to. Not greedy no. Just eating when I’m hungry, which is now.

I’m ordering this wine, do you want some too in which case I’ll order the litre rather than the half litre - don’t be silly I’m not being greedy you always drink at least two glasses and I want two too so might at well order enough’ etc etc.

Or don’t go - but it’s not so much food timings as the fact the people you go with sound annoying and judgy.

It's supposed to be a holiday!

Well you either want to go on this holiday or you don't. Don't make the decision based on food. If you always have a good time otherwise and want to go then I would say go and lose the weight after, you could take some snacks to have at lunch or take some fruit at breakfast to eat later.
But if you just don't really want to go anyway then just don't.