Is he paying enough?

[Havett]

Ex earns over double what I earn. He’s on 85k.

Cms calculates this as 860 a month. He pays 1,000. Nursery is 1,200.

I feel like he should pay more given his high salary. I know legally cms says 860 and he’s already paying more. But he does zero for dd. Literally nothing. Would you ask for more given he’s earning so much

I earn 87k and take home £4.8k a month, so if he's paying you £1k and has a 1.5k mortgage he has around 2k left over. He should easily be able to afford to pay you more - I wouldn't push it too hard though as he's paying above what he'd have to given via CMS. But I would ask if I were you

He pays £1000
you pay 200 towards fees
do you pay £800 towards your daughter a month? Or do u expect him to pay everything? He might not do much for her but he provides

So she should. What he pays equates to about £1.39 an hour. Including overnight care of his child.
What's a joke.

What does she pay ?

@crumbpet well I’m doing 100% of the care so should I be paying for that as well as doing it?

Is he reasonable enough fir you to sit down and point out the obvious to him?

If not, perhaps go round toward the middle or end of the month and ask if he has some tinned food he can give you as you can't afford to feed dd. See of he cottons on or increases it to try and put yu off spontanous visits at inconvenient times making him "look bad".

The idea behind child maintenance I believe is that the dc are kept as close to the standard of living that they were when the couple was together.

Basically they're penalised as little as possible.

So I don't think the premise is half the money should come from each parent.

So if you allocate his full £1000pm to childcare & with the £2000pa from TFC, that means you’re paying £400 a year or £33.34 a month towards the childcare shortfall, maybe he’ll be amenable to covering that?

What if the parents were not together when the child was born, so there was never a common standard of living?

I’m not sure he would have much left after that. Not after you take into consideration council tax, bills, car costs, insurances, food etc.

That said, he’ll take home just under £5k per month so should be able to do a little bit more.

Why did he reduce his child’s money though?

https://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/child-maintenance-modernising-and-improving-our-service/child-maintenance-modernising-and-improving-our-service

If you scroll down to 38

Who said he did?

I think he's being more than fair.
Leave it be OP. I bet you're getting far more than 90% of single Mums.

he warned her the CMS calculation was less

Sounds like he planned to give whatever the CMS asked him for if she decided to go down that route. Otherwise there’s no need for a warning because there are no consequences.

She should have kept quiet.

It’s another way of saying “she would have been better off if she kept quiet” You are overtly saying there were consequences to her actions. The only possible consequence he could inflict is reducing his payments for his children.

I would be over the moon if you told me I’m wrong and he maintained payments at the higher level. Rose above the bullshit with the ex to do his best for his kids. But I don’t think you are going to.

Are you not getting Universal Credit? If you earn less then half of what he does then you'll be earning less than £40k. You should be getting up to 85% of your childcare paid for by UC.

@Beezknees i don’t think this can be right? I earn 46k and have a mortgage. Calculator says I am entitled to zero

How often are they in childcare then?

Of course you have to pay towards nursery and other costs. He pays £1000 a month which should cover his 50% share of his child's expenses. Do you match that £1000? Does your child cost you £2000 a month?

Can you find cheaper childcare?

Yeah sounds like OP thinks she shouldn't be paying for any childcare???

Wrong and strong this is! Fuck me.

Please enlighten us on how you compel a person to have more time with a child they DO NOT see🤔.

£85k is £4,600 a month after tax and pension. Student loan, if it's not paid off is likely to be another £300-500 on top of that depending on whether he also has additional student debt e.g. from postgraduate study.

If his mortgage is £1500, bills £800, he's paying you £1,000, it might leave him with £300-500 for other things like emergency budget, holidays, phones and car etc.

@Havett I think you may be blinkered by the fact he earns twice what you do, peppered with a bit of anger that he gets to have no involvement with your shared child.

That being said, childcare costs is not enforceable, so pick your battles. You can hardly fight with a man who is steadfast in not having a relationship with his own offspring.

His £1,000 covers half of the childcare, plus £400 for everything else. Keep breathing and trodding towards the days of no childcare costs.

Nursery should he split between you, so he is paying £600 towards Nursery and £400 for other costs?

Whether he should morally pay more I couldn't say.

Do you not get any help towards your childcare?