3 ‘baby mums’…. Instant red flag??

[Lilysienna1]

As the title says…. Would you continue talking with a man you’ve met (in person) if he told you he has 5 children with 3 women? (Youngest is a one year old, oldest is 16.)

From what he has said, the relationship he has with the mothers of his children is amicable, and he has all 5 of them (3 with 1 mum, then one each with the other 2) every other weekend and pays child support for all 5.

Bearing in mind, I have 3 children with my ex, so I feel like a hypocrite for even wondering if there is something just a bit off… that with 3 women things didn’t work out, that he has had the last 2 children fairly early into each relationship and that the youngest is only 1, and that relationship ended 6 months ago…. Red flag or second date…

Baby mums! That term alone is a red flag. 😬

Can you imagine all 10 of you living together, even just on certain weekends?
I guess if you have 2 more between you, then you can follow the 'cheaper by the dozen' saying! It would be a massive NO from me.

As Super Simple Songs puts it, "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!'

Five kids is already a lot without it being from three women. So that’s four sets of house rules including his own. To then add yours and your ex’s. Bonkers. Bat shit crazy. Must have a golden dick and ejaculate £50 notes to be worth it 😂 and to support all those children and himself well.

Yes definitely a red flag , especially his youngest only being one years old.

American?

It will be fine. What could possibly go wrong.

I had a similar conversation with a friend when I wa chatting to someone I met online, he had 3 DC by 3 women. He said they were all amicable but when he told me the contact arrangements he had I wondered how on earth he would fit any dates in! I have DD 80% time so that limits me. Ironically he ghosted me and I met my OH a week later.
I adore my OH but he has 3DC (all one women!) and that’s been difficult enough to negotiate. We’ve been together 18 months and recently had a conversation where we acknowledged it would be years before we could live together. We enjoy what we have (EOW together plus some with the DC).
Would I date a man with 5 DC from 3 women if I had 3 myself? Errrr, no.

I definitely wouldn't. If I was crazy enough to, though, I would take contraception very seriously or would have to take into account becoming his new ex with child.

Currently there are 6% of respondents who believe that OP is being unreasonable?!

Can one of you please explain your thought process?

One week later and so quick to jump into another relationship, doesn't sound like you are any different ethier ,in a sense of jumping from relationship to another.

I wouldn’t even use that man as a dick appointment. Awful stuff

No

Would be a no from me

Ha ha! No way. Christ. Not in a million fucking years.

Isn’t that how OLD works though? You meet up with people that you seem interested in…. Someone ghosted her, she went on another date a week later and now she’s been in a relationship for nearly 2 years. You have no idea much time went before the pp was ghosted and then in an official relationship. Your comment is weird

They mentioned meeting their DP one week later after speaking to someone..It's weird how you don't see it's quick... Enjoy your night

I'd talk to him, maybe even be friends, but I would not have a relationship with him.

I’ve always said I wouldn’t want to be with someone who has kids by more than one person. That’s probably judgemental, but that’s what I thought.

I never met that guy. We messaged for a few days, agreed to a date and then he vanished. A week after he vanished I met my OH. It’s very common to be messaging multiple people OLD, I always assumed anyone I was messaging was also messaging other people! I didn’t message anyone else when I met my OH, he stood out! Been with him 18 months so I guess was right about him!

Yup he ghosted me around the time I stumbled across my OH. We went on a date 10 days later. Weren’t ‘official’ for another 8 weeks after that but I didn’t date or message anyone else from the point I agreed to go out with him! I’m hardly use them and lose them, I was married for 15 years and went on a grand total 7 dates (5 guys) before I met my OH 🤷🏻‍♀️

The 1 year old would bother me as much as the multiple mothers. Nah 👍🏼

No - if only because anyone successfully coparenting with 3 different people would have their hands full and I don't think capable of being a good partner to yet another person.

As a matter of interest would posters feel the same about a woman who has children with 3 different fathers?

One break up of a relationship which produced kids would be bad luck. Two is a coincidence. Three looks like a trend. I wouldn't necessarily write him off on that alone, but I'd be on the look out for other red flags.

Nope nopety nope nope.