3 ‘baby mums’…. Instant red flag??

[Lilysienna1]

As the title says…. Would you continue talking with a man you’ve met (in person) if he told you he has 5 children with 3 women? (Youngest is a one year old, oldest is 16.)

From what he has said, the relationship he has with the mothers of his children is amicable, and he has all 5 of them (3 with 1 mum, then one each with the other 2) every other weekend and pays child support for all 5.

Bearing in mind, I have 3 children with my ex, so I feel like a hypocrite for even wondering if there is something just a bit off… that with 3 women things didn’t work out, that he has had the last 2 children fairly early into each relationship and that the youngest is only 1, and that relationship ended 6 months ago…. Red flag or second date…

I'd definitely give it a few dates and find out more first. As others have said, you don't currently know the circumstances fully.

I really despise the expression "baby mums". I don't think women go around popping out children with no concern about ongoing parenting. I think a small number of men seem to see it as their god-given right to impregnate as many women as they can, and ignore the consequences. Parenting is a two person job. Whilst obviously life doesn't work out that way for a lot of people, surely some kind of theoretical commitment is ideal for the start of a child's life. The idea that financial child support and seeing his kids every weekend is an adequate compensation for starting up and abandoning three women is wrong. He's a bad un.

Actually women do this too,let's not stereotype .

They frequently have children by several men and then hardly see or parent them?

Yeah it happens.

Yes, it happens. But are you seriously suggesting that it happens at anything like a comparable rate to men?

It sounds to me like he can't commit. I may be wrong but definitely something not quite right , and I'm not judging, it's just a definite pattern there

Miraculously became pregnant eh?
Were the men not having sex with them?

Yes I am ..I wouldn't bother quoting me again about this because I am done with this.

Something another poster mentioned is valid OP - you have 3 children, how would they feel having another 5 children foisted on them every other weekend should this relationship progress?

I think 2 lots of children with 2 women would be my limit… but it would depend how long he’d been with them before having kids… the fact he’s got a one year old and is already looking to date again would be my biggest concern! He seems to have no respect for the fact his ex has only just had a baby and he’s already left her and trying to move onto the next!

Don’t be daft ..
I know literally loads of single women whose partners have left them to raise the kids practically alone, seeing the kids Onky a couple of days a month if at all…. I don’t know if any women who have done this…
yes women do occasionally leave their kids but it’s rare

Why you quoting me for ? I am not the one saying it rarely happens.

Wrong thread sorry ...Anyways you don't be daft it literally happens to men too.The point is it happens ethier gender ....don't quote me again.

I'm good friends with a guy who raised two boys on his own (teenagers now) because their mum literally kept disappearing. When I was younger I knew a guy who had his two boys full time too.

I know more single mothers though. In my circle I'd say it's around 85% single mothers Vs 15% single fathers. But having thought about it, the single fathers proportion is higher than I would have expected.

Yes but women very rarely leave their kids .. men leave all the time.
don’t quote me again?? How old are you 10? Just stop replying or do you always have the last word…

Yes no one is saying women never do it, but I bet the statistics would show upwards of 95% of single parents are women

You have a point,I wouldn't bother with that person,likes to have the last say so will continue quoting you until you don't respond, childish behaviour obviously.

Literally done the maths with the people in my own life to get the stats I quoted. Would you like to provide your evidence for 95% of all single parents being women or just keep arguing with people who have different experiences to you?

I have a rare free 10 minutes for some fun!

You should be done with it because you know full well you are talking tosh. The question only you can answer is: why are you knowingly talking tosh to people who also know you are talking tosh? Why do you not want to acknowledge the plain fact that very few women have children they rarely see by multiple men compared to men?

Even if there are perfectly legitimate reasons to explain why the first two relationships failed, after having children with two different people, it is time to make sure that no more children are born. It’s not fair to the existing children to make their lives that complicated and just shows a parent with person with poor judgment.

I have 2 kids by 2 different men. The red flag part of this for me is that he looks like a serial monogamist. I don't understand why people bounce from one relationship to the next without taking some time to reflect and do some work on themselves first.

It’s a nope from me. I remember a guy trying to chat me up (my mate was taking his mate home) and showing me the pictures of his 3 kids with different mamas. He was puzzled I wasn’t interest lol - I asked him why he wasn’t at home with one the kids…..

One does have to ask why people feel the need to reproduce with each subsequent partner .Surely each new partner you happen to meet is not a suitable parent ?