Inheritance

[prou]

Is it ever acceptable to give the majority of your inheritance to one child if you have two?

I have 2 children. My daughter does so much for me, helps me out daily with tasks etc. my son calls once a month. He helps his in-laws a lot but we are lucky to get a phone call. I am going to move in with my daughter and her family in the next few years. I would like to sell my house and give her the proceeds (she has not asked for this and is unaware that I am considering doing this). If I ever needed the money I know my daughter would return it to me. I don't see why my son should inherit such a large sum from me when he really shows no care for us at all. AIBU?

Would it not be better to give her generous 'rent' on a monthly basis for rent and care.
You shouldn't just give everything away as if you need a care home you may need the funds.
And then have your will split what is left over at the end 50-50?

It's yours to give to whom you want to and after you've gone, you won't be affected by what might happen.

My main concern would be any anamostity this could cause between the siblings if it wasn't equal. As I said you won't be about to care, but would you want this to be the cause of any failings out/arguments/fallings out between them in the future?

You don't say whether they currently get along or not, but that would be my main consideration. Plus any grandchildren.

The best way to ensure your wishes are met is to be very specific in the wording of your will.

You should leave something to your son (a reasonable amount, say £10,000/£20,000 if you can afford it) and the rest to your daughter. You should ensure the will specifies your reason for this. Obviously you would need to get legal advice and have it drawn up professionally.

Pay for things for DDs house - a new bathroom/extension etc. Then no tax implications, no worries about her brother being livid etc.

I would tell your son your plan when you are going to move in with your daughter. As your daughter will be your caretaker , adaptions on the home might be necessary, etc. you will be leaving a larger sum to her . Leave him a token amount so he won't be horrible to his sister. Although if he has no contact during those years you don't have to bother.

It's your money you can do what you like
It doesn't sound as if your son has done anything wrong. You could leave him a letter with your will explaining your decisions.

It is your choice. However if you do this you will likely cause a row after your death between the siblings. If you are going to do it then talk to them both before hand and explain why, don’t let it be a surprise.

Should refer to a %share otherwise if there is only £10/20k after care fees and other estate expenses left DD gets nothing.

Giving your daughter the proceeds of sale from your house may cause issues if you end up in a care home as it can be seen as diverting assets to get a local authority to pay for your care and they can get this back from your daughter.

Assuming you're not in a country with laws around who you must leave your money to then yanbu.
It's your money and your choice.

However, if you are giving her the money while you're still alive then you don't even have to think about it. Inheritance only exists when you're dead. At this point it is just your money, which you can give away as you see fit and you don't have to justify yourself.

Agree with PP that it is better to be more generous in life.

Paying "Rent" is a great idea. You could also agree an amount to pay your daughter for care.

Of course, you are entitled to do what you want. However, it is not going to be you who are facing the awkward conversations etc when you're gone. Do you really want to do that to your daughter who is doing so much for you?

That only applies for up to 7 years from the date of the gift I think.

It’s fine for you to give more to your daughter, but it needs to be off the record. Pay for renovations, holidays, school fees, uni fees, new cars whatever. In the will it should really be 50/50, or you could make it very awkward for your DD when you’ve gone. Do your DD / DS get on? If you leave her the house and him 10k I guarantee they won’t afterwards.

There are still tax implications, also deliberate deprecation of assets.

*deprivation

You are mistaken. There is no time limit for deprivation of assets.

The 7 year rule applies to potentially exempt transfers for the purpose of inheritance tax.

@IncompleteSenten you think wrong!! You are confusing IHT and deprivation of assets.

Personally I would pay your daughter a generous monthly rent and care sum.

I don’t think that’s right tbh and will likely cause a rift between your dc

Oh am I?
So if someone gives their family member a shitton of money then thirty years later need care, that gift will be taken back?
I did not know that.
I thought these things had a time limit for them to be considered deprivation of assets.
Important to know that isn't the case though and they can come after you for gifts given ten, twenty, thirty, forty + years ago and it's not capped at 7 like inheritance tax because I genuinely did not know that

Not a bad idea. My neighbour changed her will from 50/50 split to her two dc to more in favour of the one who moved in and was her carer for her final 2 years. The one who got less went nc with their mum/sibling.

I don't think 30 years would be a problem.
But if someone aged say 74 sells their house, moves in with family, gives them all the money, and then at 83 needs to go into a care home then that perhaps could be more problematic.

I think under the Care Act 2014 they can go back much further if they think assets have been deliberately given away.

I don't think that's right either. Equal split. Regardless of who does what. It's unsavoury that you reward the help you are given proportionately, smacks of expectations about 'duty'.
You are really going to move in with your DD and her family in the prime of their lives?! Indefinitely. Wow.
If you are able to dish out 'large sums' of money then I'm a big believer in buying in care and relieving your DC of the daily burden and letting them live her own lives.
Every female I know taking on a caring role like this has ended up on antidepressants.
Not something I would do to my DC.

I agree with pp paying rent as well as contributing to bills is the best approach. If you can demonstrate it comes from your income then it is unlikely to affect IHT. It isn’t deprivation of assets as you are paying for housing.

You must also get a legal agreement in place as well as your will and LPoA.