Son has changed his mind about class party - doesn't want to go

[VeryBusyDoingNothing]

Wwyd. Came out with an invitation weeks ago and he said he wanted to. Announced now he doesn't know the child very well and he doesn't want to go. Turns out none of his close friends are going either. Feel rude not going but feel I can't force him?

How old?

Should add I think plenty of other children are going just not those in his close circle

6

If it is today, mine would be going.

If he doesn’t want to go then he doesn’t have to go surely?

You can’t force him but you can explain how rude it would be to not turn up after accepting and also ask how he would feel of the same thing happened to him on his birthday.

Yeah age six would be going. Kindness and all that.

If you have RSVPd to say he is going, he needs to go

I would probably still encourage him to go, as he'll probably really enjoy it and they will have planned for him to be there. However, I'd keep an eye and make my excuses early if he didn't seem to be warming to it.

Its a lesson.

He doesn't need to know people well to have fun.

He also said he'd go so it would perhaps make the other boy feel sad if people didn't turn up. How would he feel if someone didn't turn up to his party?

I'd make him go.

If he said he wanted to go then he should go. It’s never to young to be taught then when you commit to something you don’t let people down unless you absolutely have to. I’d take him and stay - at 6 you can still get away with parents staying. I wouldn’t even dither over a response to him - jolly - off we go, it’ll be fun blah

A place would have been paid for when you RAVP’d a yes. You should go. I’m sure he will be absolutely fine and it will be good for his confidence to be in situations without his normal friends.

I’d explain about rudeness and them preparing for numbers etc. tell him he needs to go and then if he’s ready to leave after an hour or so then make your excuses. Chances are once he’s there he’ll have fun.

It's at a village hall kind of thing

If he doesn’t want to go then he doesn’t have to go surely

Not the best lesson for a six year old - you can accept an invitation, where people are expecting you/will have catered for you/may be disappointed you’re not there, just because you decide on the day that you don’t want to? I’d be bloody annoyed if someone did that to my child when he was having a party.

I’d make him go.

Also, focus him on the birthday cake and possible goody bag he may get to bring home!

Depends on how soon the party is. If is today then I think your son should go, it's not nice to bail on the day unless there is good reason.

If it's not till next weekend then give your apologies on Monday.

He needs to go and learn not to be flaky

Depends - if he’s utterly refusing there’s not much you can do except say he’s ill, you can’t physically drag him there. Unless there’s a bully or something he’s not telling you it’s much better form that he goes. It’s def rude to be a last minute blow out, sorry.

Yes, and he still needs to go as he and you said he would to the party child. I also think it does no good to teach them that they don’t have to do what they don’t want to do - life as an adult does not always work like that plus I also think important to see that even when you are not looking forward to something, you will inevitably usually enjoy it in the end. It would be very rude at this stage not to go, regardless of what sort of party it is.

Same as others. If it's today then he goes. With an explanation about committing to do something and letting people down at the last minute.
If next week, I'd let them know and decline.

This.

Especially if its a pay per head type thing.

He may not know birthday child well but that may be the point, they might be struggling socially and the parents are using the birthday party to help them "branch out". They could end up getting on really well.

If nothing else, I wouldn't want to flake (other than illness etc) after RSVP-ing

If it’s today, absolutely he needs to go. If it’s still in a couple of weeks then I would pull out.

I'd explain that he has said yes and it's not fair/ rude on the party person to drop out (if you are free you could ask to stay around on the basis he is nervous) socially if we accept party invites we need to learn it is a commitment and not fair to others to others to pull out at the last minute unless poorly or some other unavoidable thing.