To think that botox, fillers, and other facial procedures are becoming too common?

[TERFCat]

I've just seen the recent pictures of the lovely Shania Twain. She's had so much facial work done that she looks unrecognizable! I find this such a shame given how naturally beautiful she's always been!

I also feel that facial work is causing a division between rich and poor women. I'm not sure what the answer to this is though?

Yeah this is a reductive opinion... You do you, where as we do us, I don't like judgement, it's an individual choice, we don't judge you

I would never shame. Or laugh at them etc. I find it depressing more than anything. It’s one thing over 40y women making an informed choice for wrinkles etc. It’s another when an 18y old feels she needs to do it because everyone else around her is doing so.

The 18y old I know that has fillers etc says her mum introduced her to sunbeds. That is just awful in my view.

It's a demonstration of insecurity and feeds an unhealthy narrative.

This is just untrue.

What’s noticeable is really obvious fillers and an immobile face where the injector has no idea how to balance out someone’s features.

There’s a member at my gym who has massively overfilled lips and it’s shocking that someone was allowed to do that to her. She is constantly licking her lips as her wet/dry lip border has been compromised.

Subtle, and importantly, skilled work is not discernible. I have friends who’ve had tweakments and you would really never know. They look like themselves.

It’s an unregulated industry currently and anyone can become an aesthetics injector.

Good practitioners would never put their name and reputation to some of the shoddy work out there.

I don't think for one second you are an incel because it's a commonly held stance I hear from women, but it always strikes me as an incel-like view. It sounds the same as when men say "she would be so beautiful without tattoos/all of that makeup/dressed in something more modest". It's quite patronising when people view filler and tweaks as something a woman thinks she needs, almost as though she's been tricked into getting it, when alot of women just enjoy that look. I'm sure there are some women who got it out of insecurity at the start, but at this point you will have heard so many people scoffing at filler and tweaks that it's not something to see as 100% aspirational.

I like the done look, I find it fun. I also like a natural face, I like wrinkles and when women grow out their natural grey and I can appreciate it on others. I don't look at women with those things and think "Oh, what a shame she's let herself go. It looks obvious when it's not perfectly curated" it's their look, and I can see the beauty in all of them.

If a woman gets surgery because she's deeply unhappy with herself then I hope they can find the help they need but I find the tarring of people with tweaks similar to the attitude that people who get alot of tattoos have some type of mental problem. Do what you like with your own face be happy with it, and let others do the same.

I also dislike people who do get tweaks saying "yes but mine look natural, I'm not like them!" quite pathetic, enjoy your own look and let someone else enjoy the done look if it's what they want. Everyone is free to do to their own face whatever they like, it's a waste of energy judging other women on their face.

I started botox at 50, just to freshen me up, definitely not the frozen look. I'm now 53, a fresher looking 53 but I still look 53 and I'm not interested in fillers or anything else.

I'm not rich either, I do go to a reputable place 3 x per year. I'm happy.

When I first started though I was looking at all my other imperfections and thinking what could I enhance but thank god I got past that very quickly.

It’s got only a loose relationship with money in my experience - it’s more to do with priorities and sometimes insecurity. If I have spare cash it’s going on travel and more exciting experiences rather than needles in my face!

I’m friends with several female doctors in their 50s / 60s and we were chatting about this last week. None of them had particular concerns about safety of these treatments but no one wanted them for themselves. All three are slim and fit, ageing well, and for their adult lives have been prized for their brains more than their looks.

For people who use their looks to make a living, aging is potentially more distressing as looks fade. Also none of us are doing online dating - perhaps there’s more pressure to look good if you’re trying to find love.

Ooh we haven’t had one of these threads for at least a week! A “why do people wear make up” one should pop up again shortly.

YANBU about it being too common, but the rich/poor divide is not a real issue. The people I see getting them in my nail salon are not wealthy folks.

Thankfully there isn’t anyone in my circle of friends/family having it and my teenager finds most of the looks horrifying, so won’t be rushing to follow the trend. Long may that continue 🤞🏾🙏🏾.

Isn't the answer just to accept that women have the right to make decisions about their own faces, and in the nicest possible way, mind your own business? In terms of the bigger picture, if you seriously think it's harmful and want to take steps to address it in the interests of women's welfare, a good place to start would be to check your own attitudes and language. Because while you're referring to other women with reference to their 'beauty', rather than their talent, skills etc, I'm afraid you are part of the problem.

I'm on a placent atm and was shocked at the first meeting when people were chatting in the break that all the women and the one man in the room had had botox except for me.they talked about botox parted too which don't sound safe.

Botox parties sound incredibly dull. You don’t see the result for 3 days!

Yes my 21 year old daughter tells me that in her generation and especially if you want to get ahead in a professional, corporate career it is now de rigueur to have regular tweaks. The pressure now to be attractive and not appear to age at all, is very intense among younger women.

I remember reading that treatments took off after lockdown and when people often looked at their own faces on zoom.

We are subjected to many air brushed, AI generated images today in social media and advertising. So there is a much higher standard of perfection expected for beauty in women now compared to the past. From my point of view, it’s a burden I am glad I am not worrying about as someone in my 50s.

Personally I think that judging other women on what they choose to do to their face is terribly common just not in the way that you meant.

I don’t have anything like it, maybe I would in the future who knows! If it doesn’t directly impact your life then let them be.

I was just thinking the other day that the overton window for cosmetic tweakments has really shifted in the past decade. Faces that would have looked wackadoodle in the 90s now don't look as weird to us.

I'm not sure about there being a rich/poor divide as many wealthy women (and men) who've had work done look botched. And no one envies that. Although I look at Demi Moore and think 'wow'. Whoever her surgeon is is so skilled.

I think it's a fair enough topic for conversation as changing beauty standards effect us all.

I agree, that is awful. I think I’m more talking about the shaming and the nasty ways used to describe women’s features who’ve had procedures, I think that’s awful too.

If you are old no amount of plastic surgery and non surgical intervention will take that fact away.

I'd feel sad too if that was what passed for humour in our house. I'd be ashamed of my partner if he laughed at women's appearance in the street. Because if that's what they find funny they're usually the type to laugh at overweight women and unattractive ones too.

@Hidinginbed

YES IT CAN LOOK GOOD

@Didshejustsaythatoutloud

this! He sounds very rude. Does he look like a model himself?

I’m not outright against these procedures, but there is so much terrible work out there and on young women and it IS often grotesque and it’s hard not to feel repulsed. I’d never be so rude as to say it or to criticise or shame another woman, but I’m not going to pretend it isn’t disturbing.

I get my nails done in a local salon and the manager and two of the nail technicians have the most ridiculous lip filler. They look like they are wearing some sort of comedy prosthetics. It’s just awful. I go there a couple of times a month and I still always feel a sort of shocked disgust when I see what they’ve done to their faces.

We shouldn’t be normalising this.

Gwen Stefani is unrecognisable and Kim Kardashian who had a beautiful face now looks kinda weird and not as naturally pretty. Sad really those that go to the extremes but they are having eye lifts, face lifts etc not just botox or fillers. Haven't had anything am 55 but lucky have no wrinkles but would like bit filler maybe for that bit of droop under the mouth that prob no one notices only myself. But I think once you start you would want more and more things done and those pop stars live in a different reality. But walking around where I live and so many have lips overdone, can always notice from the side view. Nice to get a bit of a boost but people go too far.

Meant to say young women/men will prioritize their fillers/botox and almost seems like going to the hairdresser now as it is so common for anyone.

Agreed. Women aren’t allowed to age anymore. We’ve gone backwards in many ways. I blame social media (and the patriarchy.)