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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Hotel guest appears to have reported me

721 replies

holidaybliss · 07/05/2024 19:10

Currently on holiday with our 5 month old baby, DH had annoyed me and I'd shouted at him, the usual stuff, first holiday with a baby and I feel I am doing a lot of the work (planning activities, childcare, etc). It was brief and nothing to write home about. The maid arrived shortly after at a very unusual time and the hotel manager came up to us at dinner and said how when he and his wife argue it's always about their children. I got the impression that both these events happened because someone in an adjacent room must have reported me to the hotel.

Am I being unreasonable to feel this is unnecessary? It's not exactly like things were being thrown / someone was unsafe, I don't think it's a rare occurrence for a tired mother of a baby on their first holiday to get irritated at their partner.

OP posts:
CharlotteFlax · 07/05/2024 19:12

I think they're doing their duty in keeping g an eye out for you.

Shelinaa · 07/05/2024 19:12

I don’t think it is normal to shout at your partner, no.

I would be majorly annoyed if I could hear this sort of thing on holiday, and slightly worried for the baby.

CountFucula · 07/05/2024 19:14

I don’t think shouting is that usual… sorry, I wouldn’t like to be in a hotel and hear a couple with a baby shouting at each other. It would be unsettling.

notacooldad · 07/05/2024 19:14

I don’t think it is normal to shout at your partner, no

I would be majorly annoyed if I could hear this sort of thing on holiday, and slightly worried for the baby.

All of this.

TeenLifeMum · 07/05/2024 19:15

What did you shout? May be the content of what was said but it’s not normal for a couple with a baby to shout at each other.

Scampuss · 07/05/2024 19:15

YABU, it's good that someone came to check after getting reports of shouting that could be heard outside your room (and would have been even worse for your baby who I assume was in the same room).

PossiblyNow · 07/05/2024 19:15

CharlotteFlax · 07/05/2024 19:12

I think they're doing their duty in keeping g an eye out for you.

Yes, I think it’s a good thing. They’re checking you’re ok.

aerkfjherf · 07/05/2024 19:16

I don't think shouting is normal, and shouting loud enough for people in the next door hotel room to hear, definitely not. Shouting in a hotel room I knew to contain a baby, yes, I would report immediately

ByUmberViewer · 07/05/2024 19:16

I agree with the others, it's really not normal to shout at your partner.

SeismicSalad · 07/05/2024 19:16

Uhh yes, YABU. It’s a hotel.

ilovesooty · 07/05/2024 19:17

I don't think they were out of order to report a concern if they could hear shouting in a room with a baby, sorry.

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/05/2024 19:18

Are you saying you wouldn’t report someone shouting loudly around a young baby? I’ve never shouted at DH and we’ve had two babies. I don’t know anyone who thinks it’s normal or healthy behaviour.

Find better ways to communicate your feelings, for everyone’s sake, not least your infant. It’s really damaging for babies to be around that sort of thing and it’s clearly a pattern of behaviour rather than a one off given the casual way you justify it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/05/2024 19:19

PossiblyNow · 07/05/2024 19:15

Yes, I think it’s a good thing. They’re checking you’re ok.

They’re checking the baby’s okay. She’s the one overheard bellowing.

Sallysoup · 07/05/2024 19:20

It sounds like this is normal for you, but clearly worried others enough to report it to hotel staff, who were worried enough to check on you and the room. It doesn't sound normal to me tbh.

Seas164 · 07/05/2024 19:20

If you were shouting to the point that people outside of the room could hear you then you're being unreasonable not to expect people to have concerns, especially if there's a young baby in the room.

Overthebow · 07/05/2024 19:20

It’s not normal no, shouting at your partner isn’t normal and you really shouldn’t in front of your baby. The person was right to report it to the hotel and the hotel were right to check up on you.

B1anche · 07/05/2024 19:20

My partner really irritates me on a regular basis but I don't shout at him. I would say that is not normal, especially in front of a baby and at a hotel.

TheHorneSection · 07/05/2024 19:22

Sounds like it was more than a simple shout, what actually happened?

Motheranddaughter · 07/05/2024 19:23

We have 3 DC and I have never shouted at my DH
Definitely not normal

mynameiscalypso · 07/05/2024 19:25

I have also never shouted at DH. And I would never dream of shouting in front of my child. I don't think shouting is normal and would be worried, particularly if I knew there was a baby involved.

Whitewatergrafting · 07/05/2024 19:25

Well I'd be reassessing how you communicate with your DH.

Would you tolerate your DH shouting at you, in front of your baby?

OnehundredStars · 07/05/2024 19:26

I remember my kids being that young and going to a hotel was a nightmare and I went home first thing in the morning and never again (then we rented a house)
i get it… but I wouldn’t shout and especially not in a hotel as how unfair to baby and the the paying guests next door

Pepsiisbetterthancoke · 07/05/2024 19:27

PossiblyNow · 07/05/2024 19:15

Yes, I think it’s a good thing. They’re checking you’re ok.

Or checking on the OP’s DH considering he was the one being shouted at

holidaybliss · 07/05/2024 19:27

The baby was in the crèche not in the room for everyone accusing me of shouting in front of the baby.

OP posts:
Caravaggiouch · 07/05/2024 19:27

YABU. I’d complain too if I was them. Keep your bloody voices down.