Hotel guest appears to have reported me

[holidaybliss]

Currently on holiday with our 5 month old baby, DH had annoyed me and I'd shouted at him, the usual stuff, first holiday with a baby and I feel I am doing a lot of the work (planning activities, childcare, etc). It was brief and nothing to write home about. The maid arrived shortly after at a very unusual time and the hotel manager came up to us at dinner and said how when he and his wife argue it's always about their children. I got the impression that both these events happened because someone in an adjacent room must have reported me to the hotel.

Am I being unreasonable to feel this is unnecessary? It's not exactly like things were being thrown / someone was unsafe, I don't think it's a rare occurrence for a tired mother of a baby on their first holiday to get irritated at their partner.

Crèche aside,
Having read your reason for shouting I say fair enough!! What a dick. My husband was generally very good but did that same shitty criticising me to the baby when she was newborn. He certainly got it in the ear everytime for that and in front of the baby!
I would've said very loudly to the hotel manager what you told us when he came over at dinner. If you get the opportunity do it!
Other than that enjoy the holiday

Problem is rooms closed you pretty much hear all. But the second problem is you shouldn't be shouting even at the end of your tether in a good relationship

Agreed, so many snowflakes on here!

Oh give over

Even the best relationships can have heated exchanges. Have you ever been to Spain or Italy?

Ever shout..... unlikely!

I’d be angry with your partner, he needs to pull his finger out hernia or not.
I would have also sacrificed lunch for a nap!
I think it’s ok that you raised your voice. I also think it was ok to report it, they don’t know your life story.
Thankfully it sounds as though management were very good about it, so nothing came of it anyways so no harm done.

Get off mumsnet and enjoy your holiday for gods sake. I haven’t even read most of your posts, but just by the sheer volume of them I know you are spiralling. Take a big breath and go enjoy the holiday you’ve paid lots for.

How odd to post this, OP has not posted since 8th May, I think perhaps you need to take your pitchfork home. HTH

OP last posted on Wednesday, keep up!

didnt check the times- went into the op posts and there were more than i have ever seen. Couldn’t help thinking I’d rather enjoy my holiday of it were me. Not sure where my pitchfork is …😂 not meant to be a mean answer

I'll be honest it's is less about the fact that you lost your temper, more you justifying it and the fact that you're annoyed at someone reporting it. Even your subsequent updates don't show any insight that your behaviour was poor. I mean I would have said something along the lines of, I lost my temper at DH and ended up shouting. I think someone reported it, so the hotel manager came and chatted to us. I'm mortified, I know it was unacceptable, but I was really tired and overwhelmed. Really good policy of them to come and check. It could have been an abusive situation for example.

Yes, most of us have lost our temper but we don't get annoyed at other people naming it/reporting it. I thi k your problem is your lack of remorse, not the fact that you lost your temper.

Op the worst decision you could have made was coming on here and asking that. As you’ve already realised Mumsnet can be incredibly judgmental and full of bullshit 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

YANBU, ignore most of the comments on here asking if you’re ok/ that you need help etc. you’re stressed and had an argument it’s no big deal. If someone reported it then it was probably just to move away from the room next to a baby.

arguments postpartum is the normal. We learned that 9/10 couples argue more after kids than before. It’s stressful and exhausting, add in the fact you’re on holiday and even more things to think about than normal. Plus the stress of if you’ve forgotten something it’s not as if you can run back home to grab it. Good Lord the amount of stupid things my husband and I have argued about is ridiculous. As you said it’s not like you’re threatening each other with a knife, it’s a bloody quick argument 😂😂

just forget about the ones that complained and people on here. Enjoy the rest of your holiday as much as you can and enjoy the time with your baby (and hopefully husband if you’ve made up yet 😂) xx

@holidaybliss you appear to have found a portal to another world where all couples speak to each other quietly and respectfully at all times(except you of course, you awful shouter you). With divorce rates and domestic violence rates being what they are you have unearthed a rare hoard of peacefully co-existing partnerships. Well done.

sarcasm aside. Everybody falls out with their partner on holiday. Especially with a tiny baby (welcome to holidays with kids btw). I think the staff are being considerate in checking in with you, you’re probably right, either someone has complained or a staff member has overheard. Don’t stress about it too much. Try as much as you can to relax and don’t try and go abroad again till bubs is four or five, it’s a horrible waste of money to be so stressed in a completely different country 🤣

@Flossyts you do realise you can enjoy your holiday and post on MN?

It's always seen as a snarky put down, oh you can't be enjoying your holiday, you're posting on a forum 🙄!

OP dont take any notice of all these people saying they have never shouted at their partners . Honestly I dont believe it for a minute . I have been married 30 years and brought up four children , if I hadn't have shouted at DH occasionally or him at me over the years I think we would have exploded . It's normal when you ve got young children to be stressed sometimes don't be too hard on yourself

OP, we recently went away with our 9 month old with extended family. My husband is a good parent and we did everything together from packing to mealtimes - we’re a team of great communicators and all that jazz. We still got pissed off at each other at times because we were hot and tired and out of routine and away from our comforts. You’re not alone.

Fucking hell feel like I’m in a different universe! How many times do you read on Mumsnet about arguments/partners shouting etc yet on this thread there is hardly any!

OP you’re getting a hard time, please ignore! The first year of a babies life is very stressful especially if it’s your first (lack of sleep, massive change to life etc) tensions are high and then you have your partner criticising you, don’t blame you for shouting tbh!

I'm sorry you're in this situation. It is full on to travel with a baby when your partner doesn't do his share. Yes sleep deprivation is torture and you deserve better.
Leave the baby with your hubby for 30mins at the time, just to get out of it a bit. I know it's next to impossible but needs to be done for them both to get used to you being away.
And nap through the lunch times! Your hubby can take the baby out in the pram and find a place where to eat. You go separately earlier or later.
I really hope you get more help soon. I've been been through the same with baby not sleeping and being super clingy. It gets better but it takes time and practice for everyone.

I don't think most people shout at each other. I don't think I've ever shouted at my partner. Normal communication doesn't involve raised voices in my world, sorry.

I’m sorry you haven’t found much support on here. I don’t think what you’ve described is unreasonable at all. Having a 5 month old is HARD at the best of times never mind when away from home and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to enjoy a holiday.