Hotel guest appears to have reported me

[holidaybliss]

Currently on holiday with our 5 month old baby, DH had annoyed me and I'd shouted at him, the usual stuff, first holiday with a baby and I feel I am doing a lot of the work (planning activities, childcare, etc). It was brief and nothing to write home about. The maid arrived shortly after at a very unusual time and the hotel manager came up to us at dinner and said how when he and his wife argue it's always about their children. I got the impression that both these events happened because someone in an adjacent room must have reported me to the hotel.

Am I being unreasonable to feel this is unnecessary? It's not exactly like things were being thrown / someone was unsafe, I don't think it's a rare occurrence for a tired mother of a baby on their first holiday to get irritated at their partner.

I would assume the staff are tactfully trying to communicate that you shouldn't shout in a hotel room - the other guests don't want to hear it.

If nothing else, other guests made a complaint about the noise. They need to address those concerns.

I'd still reassess how you are communicating with your DH. I mean this kindly as someone who has been there. As others have said, it's not normal or healthy to shout at your DH however annoyed you are.

Who wants to go on holiday and listen to room neighbours shouting? Have a bit more consideration for other people maybe.

Shouting at your partner is not normal, no. Find an adult way to express your frustrations.

I know shouting when frustrated isn't great, but it's not exactly uncommon for tired and stressed parents. Hope the rest of the holiday goes better.

Amazing that not a single person here has ever lost their temper, regardless of what situation they have doing themselves in.

Sure if the baby was in the crèche you were hardly having it that hard to be fair

I’ll admit that I have shouted at my DH, in the 20 years we’ve been together, very very rarely as I can only remember one incident, and that was at least 10 years ago. The children were in bed.

I cannot imagine being so upset and angry that I would shout in a hotel. Are you generally okay?

No one goes to a hotel and expects to hear people having a barney in the next room. Keep your voices down.

It sounds excessive to me and the likelihood is that you’ve played it down to try to get readers onside with you.

Embarrassing but the baby wasn't there so you can just make a decision not to do it again.

Shouting isn't desirable but is not exactly rare either.

The thing is shouting doesn't get you anywhere, it doesn't convince anyone of anything apart from that you are being ridiculous.

You're on holiday, your DH isn't pulling his weight, I get it. But what that means is that you are in the perfect location to go for a wander, sit by the pool for an hour or so and leave him to it. Maybe he will get the message then and in a much calmer way.

I’ve been married 25 years OP and whilst it’s definitely not something we do regularly we have both shouted at each other.

Try to have a chat, make up and enjoy the rest of your holiday we don’t get them very often. Don’t worry about planning activities just get your book and lay on a sun lounger.

I have lost my temper many many times.

But hotels are notorious for sound carrying from room to room and you probably pissed off several customers, and the people in the rooms next to you could probably hear every word.

Have your next row in private.
A hotel is not private.

Of course most people have but if they had done it in a place where other people could hear them (and have their own trip interrupted) then I wouldn’t think it unreasonable for it to be commented on

I'm thinking people maybe have different ideas about what it means to shout? As I agree with OP find it so hard to believe that nobody ever shouts at their partner... but that's because by shouting I just mean raising voice a little/soeaking in a harsher tone. I don't mean screaming at the top of my lungs and I'm assuming that's not what op meant either? I can't say...

I would also report you.

@OnehundredStars yes the 2 hour crèche that coincides with lunchtime so I can't rest, makes up for getting no sleep at night. Takes away from absolutely every stress that comes with a young baby.

Well, if someone heard it from the corridor or through a wall, it was clearly loud enough to cause concern…?

Or maybe the walls are just thin? Or maybe they had their balconies open etc? I'm not sure, I can't say, just throwing that out there in case we are misunderstanding the OP

I agree if she was screaming at the top of her lungs that's really disturbing for people to hear, especially if they thought there was a poor baby witnessing it too. And also is not very 'normal' but I also think not completely unheard of the odd time in a relationship

Some absolutely horrific shit happens in hotels so they were checking everyone was ok and making you aware. I'd be glad they were looking out for me, if I was you.

@gravybee yes you've got it, it was a normal conversation volume argument, and at one point I got annoyed, it wasn't long winded and only happened this once, not like we are constantly at each others throats. We are generally very considerate and tend to talk very quietly if on the balcony etc so as not to disturb others. I can only think that they were after an excuse not to be next door to a baby which is fine, but it upset me as prior to the thread I would have thought it's fairly normal to argue when away together, but looks like the rest of Mumsnet are all angels.

You're only thinking about yourself in this scenario.

Other people resting up or enjoying the hotel room they've paid for don't want their holiday disrupted by other guests yelling at each other.

Just be more considerate about the noise you make when you're living in close proximity to other people.

Honestly of course Dh and I argue but honestly never loud enough in a hotel
Room that someone would hear and feel the need to report.
Hope the rest of the holiday is better