SiL and friend keep commenting on my age.

[SpringOnionChicken]

I am in a group of friends (some nicer than others!) and one of them keeps commenting on my age. I’m the oldest, and we range from late 40’s to early 50’s. I’m 4 years older than her. She says things like;

Oh, God you’re so old
Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people

Then there is my SiL who constantly refers to the fact I am 5 years older than her. Things like;

You are much older than me
I’m much younger than you
Well, that’s because you are a lot older than me, I’m only 48, and you are 53

This has been going on a long time, and usually I don’t care but recently it’s pissing me off, because I feel they’ve dug deep, had to think long and hard, and this is the only thing they’ve been able to come up with as a stick to prod me with. The friend said it quite maliciously TBH.

Getting down to their level, my SIL has the misfortune of ageing terribly and has had to drop loads of money on cosmetic surgery to fix it. She’s also never run for a bus, and is very unfit. I’ve been asked a few times if my SIL is my DH’s older sister (he’s 5 years older) and if she is older than me. Friend is also not looking so great. Sorry to stoop to their level of year 8 schoolyard.

My age is not an issue to me. I’m grateful I’m fit and healthy and I don’t need any tweakments. I just think these comments are petty, and am thinking of nipping them in the bud with some comebacks.

AIBU? If no, please give me some ideas to shut them up.

People do this because they’re insecure about their own age.

My brother in law does that. Every birthday “I’ll always be younger than you!” Like it’s some sort of competition he has won when he’s a fully grown adult. Rubbish banter and very tedious. I choose to ignore.

@BigMandsTattooPortfolio totally agree, they are insecure.
Tbh, I'd give a little cuddle/nudge/squeeze and say " ooh are we starting on the old jokes, you're each allowed 2, let's get them over with" with a big smile on your face.
Then ask them how they're doing.

Every time they bring up your age just say ‘and so much wiser’. They are being pathetic.

You’re definitely too old to continue with rubbish “friendships” like this. Just stop seeing her. SIL is trickier - maybe just tell her it gets on your nerves when she keeps mentioning age, and could she please stop?

Five years is not much older. You want to fire them back, how old are they partners, family members etc? . Unless they are with a toy boy and they are orphans you got ammunition enough to fire back if you like. Ask so when your are older like me what are you going to do, feed pigeons as a hobbie?
They are nutters. They see the 5 and think in ancient Egypt.

This one!

”I know - 5 years older and you would never know to look at us, how lucky”

I wouldn't bite back with any age related responses, that just shows she's getting to you.

"You only seem to have one topic of conversation these days, is everything ok?"

Or "For fuck sake, not this again" if you're feeling a bit more irritable 😆

Friends don’t put you down - they lift you up

Why at age 53 would you choose to hang out with people who don’t have your back, and don’t enhance your life, these women sound so bitchy. TBH they sound jealous of you. I could never imagine my friendship group being mean to me. Personally I would distance myself from them, but if you insist on sticking with them, you have to be firm and fire back every time they make comments, show them you think it’s rude, and you don’t tolerate such behaviour

Oh, God you’re so old
Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people

I'd have responded 'Feel free to fuck off then, Fiona. Because I know I don't want to hang out with snide bitches'.

Why not just say to her she has been calling you old for x amount of years, you were x age when it started and by that standard she is now older than that which makes her also old. It will piss her off but shut her up. Point out the age gap will never change but maybe it feels bigger to her because she has not matured enough to realise age is just a number.

I am mid 50s and one of the glorious things about getting older is not caring anymore.
My response would be “the great thing about being my age is realising you no longer give a shit what other people think”

I would say Oh dear I didnt realise I had aged so much. I wonder if anyone could give me the number of a good cosmetic surgeon. When she gives you the number of her botox person slowly look her up and down and say I dont think I will bother as it doesnt really seem to work, and isnt worth the price. Then change the subject before she has time to get her breath.

Oh no!
You just need to say one thing... Do you wish to look as healthy and fit like me? Are you jealous that I am older and look better and younger than you? Cause my age is not a problem for me, but looks like you have a problem with aging.
Hit them directly. They deserve it!

Bullies always pitch their insecurities onto others. They see you’re comfortable in your own skin whereas they clearly aren’t. I get the constant mithering would get you down but don’t let it. Be the bigger and more fabulous person.

Well thank you kindly, Marjorie, but I prefer the word "mature" myself !!

Then laugh like you couldn't give a shit stuff.

I used to get this from a friend, ‘Ew, you’d look weird with straight hair’, ‘That’s more the sort of thing that my neice would wear’, ‘I bumped into your sister today - I couldn’t help notice how lined she was’, ‘You could do with losing the weight round your stomach’, etc, etc.

This insecure, unfulfilled, two-faced, shallow, mouthbreathing twat is an ex friend these days. I can recommend it, OP.

Best not to see them surely ?

I found a brilliant card years ago.

On the front:
STONE AGE
ICE AGE

Inside, under a wee mirror:
OLD AGE

😂

That's pathetic it's not like she's a spring chicken everyone is mature I would say something put her in her place tell her that her age isn't considered young either am in my early 40's too so not saying you are old but I don't consider my self young either say something .

From you're post, it sounds to me like they're jealous - that you are older in years but look way younger. So they need to keep reminding you of that, to keep things in perspective.

I wouldn't think of a witty comeback, I'd just call it out for what it is.

Just keep saying I look great for my age or keep dropping someone has complimented how amazing and NATURAL you look or someone saying you're fit and HEALTHY. Obvs if you highlight the caps the better.
I get complimented like this a lot

Get new pals and inly see your SIL when strictly necessary.