SiL and friend keep commenting on my age.

[SpringOnionChicken]

I am in a group of friends (some nicer than others!) and one of them keeps commenting on my age. I’m the oldest, and we range from late 40’s to early 50’s. I’m 4 years older than her. She says things like;

Oh, God you’re so old
Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people

Then there is my SiL who constantly refers to the fact I am 5 years older than her. Things like;

You are much older than me
I’m much younger than you
Well, that’s because you are a lot older than me, I’m only 48, and you are 53

This has been going on a long time, and usually I don’t care but recently it’s pissing me off, because I feel they’ve dug deep, had to think long and hard, and this is the only thing they’ve been able to come up with as a stick to prod me with. The friend said it quite maliciously TBH.

Getting down to their level, my SIL has the misfortune of ageing terribly and has had to drop loads of money on cosmetic surgery to fix it. She’s also never run for a bus, and is very unfit. I’ve been asked a few times if my SIL is my DH’s older sister (he’s 5 years older) and if she is older than me. Friend is also not looking so great. Sorry to stoop to their level of year 8 schoolyard.

My age is not an issue to me. I’m grateful I’m fit and healthy and I don’t need any tweakments. I just think these comments are petty, and am thinking of nipping them in the bud with some comebacks.

AIBU? If no, please give me some ideas to shut them up.

I’d wait until she brought it up in a group setting and say “I am older that’s true. At least I’m biodegradable.”

😂

Just say yes I’m older and wiser.
Who cares about age. I think they are thinking about their appearance. It’s a privilege to get older and who cares about the number or wrinkles.

No, get her the biggest one. Balloons, badges, singing telegram...the lot. Make a massive deal of it. Make a huge show of congratulating her on reaching the big 5- 0! Say that you loved turning 50 and how fabulous it is that now that you're now all in your 50s. Just keep mentioning her being over 50...😉

I know! It's crazy I'm so much older and you had to have cosmetic surgery.

It seems really strange that there are two women in your life that are this rude. Just throwing these insults at you from nowhere?

Im 34 and my sis is 42, she often says ‘women our age…’ shouldn’t wear those, or should be eating better or shouldn’t be running (bad for the knees apparently), but it’s always “women our age”!

Now, I’ve never said anything to Dsis because I don’t really care and I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings, but we’re not the same age. Perhaps if I was as insecure as your SIL sounds I might be more inclined to correct her.

This is so odd.

I go out sometimes with a group of ladies, and our ages are :

65
54 (me)
50
44
32

Age is never mentioned.

I agree with others responding along the lines of: "I know, right! Everyone I know is always shocked when they find out because they thought you were older than me!"

every time

'Quite SIL, and they say numbers don't lie' then briefly scan her up and down before adding a fake smile.

Or you could just consider them to be tedious, puerile twats and put some distance between you as it is all rather nasty and not said in the spirit of banter. I couldn't spend time with women like this.

Was it Dorothy Parker who when her friend let her go first saying "Age before beauty" replied "Pearls before swine"?

Succinct!

Hahaha

Respond to any rude comment with 'That's Nice' - (The Irish for 'feck off')

or just tell them to feck off?

At least I haven't had to have surgery.
Imagine how you'll look in 5 years!
Do you have enough saved for the procedures?

I’d wait until she brought it up in a group setting and say “I am older that’s true. At least I’m biodegradable.”

I think we have a winner

I don't know what to advise OP but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I've had similar from a friend who is also about 4 years younger than me. I don't get it either. My age to me is not an issue. I'm thankfully fit and healthy.
I just assume some people have hang ups about getting older and they project those feelings.

Ignore the idiots, or at least feel sorry for them xx

"Yes I am older than you. Oh my, just think what YOU'LL look like when you reach my age! We'll be lucky if mirrors don't crack!!"

Oh yes - one of those badly painted banners hung from an overpass with
"Guess who turned 50 today!"

"(bet you thought that she was 60!")

Oh that's a good one and cutting as well,I would say that would be met with,no need to be like that,I'm only joking etc.

"Amazing isn't it? I'm so much older than you and yet you're the one having to spend a fortune on botox"

"I maybe older but I look a lot younger"...

Just sounds like friendly banter to me. Your comments about them are pretty nasty though. You need to tell them it really bothers you, they are likely just having a bit of fun and have no idea you are upset by it.
I have younger friends and older friends and have been on both ends of banter about who is older, I've never been bothered by it or known anyone else to be bothered by it.

“At least I know I’ve reached this age.”

Jeez, SIL/Nasty friend, how old are we? After school, I did not think anyone paid attention to a few years age difference! How odd!

Since it doesn't bother you, you could just ignore.

Or you could just say 'It's kind of rude to comment on people's age' but this comment would suggest it bothers you.