SiL and friend keep commenting on my age.

[SpringOnionChicken]

I am in a group of friends (some nicer than others!) and one of them keeps commenting on my age. I’m the oldest, and we range from late 40’s to early 50’s. I’m 4 years older than her. She says things like;

Oh, God you’re so old
Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people

Then there is my SiL who constantly refers to the fact I am 5 years older than her. Things like;

You are much older than me
I’m much younger than you
Well, that’s because you are a lot older than me, I’m only 48, and you are 53

This has been going on a long time, and usually I don’t care but recently it’s pissing me off, because I feel they’ve dug deep, had to think long and hard, and this is the only thing they’ve been able to come up with as a stick to prod me with. The friend said it quite maliciously TBH.

Getting down to their level, my SIL has the misfortune of ageing terribly and has had to drop loads of money on cosmetic surgery to fix it. She’s also never run for a bus, and is very unfit. I’ve been asked a few times if my SIL is my DH’s older sister (he’s 5 years older) and if she is older than me. Friend is also not looking so great. Sorry to stoop to their level of year 8 schoolyard.

My age is not an issue to me. I’m grateful I’m fit and healthy and I don’t need any tweakments. I just think these comments are petty, and am thinking of nipping them in the bud with some comebacks.

AIBU? If no, please give me some ideas to shut them up.

Thanks for all the great comments. I think it got to me a bit, because this is the first time I’ve been made to feel old.

One thing I’d love to say to SIL is “yes, I’m in my 50’s, and it’s all natural. No Botox or anything. Aren’t I lucky?”

They are panicking about being 50, is my guess, and saying this as a mantra to themselves ‘I’m still in my 40s….40s…40s…’.

Though the ‘friend’ just sounds stupid, your SIL clearly has issues, and it’s her, not you.

Apply your superior wisdom alongside your fitness and observe their foolishness with some aloofness.

Why do you keep bringing this up?

Just say it's the age you look, not the age you are that people notice.

"She says things like;

Oh, God you’re so old
Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people

Then there is my SiL who constantly refers to the fact I am 5 years older than her. Things like;

You are much older than me
I’m much younger than you"

Sorry this can't be real? There cannot be women in their 40s and 50s who talk like this?

“Oh I had a little bet with myself about how long it would take you to point out my age, and I was right, it was within the first 15 minutes.”

Brilliant idea!

This^

It would be a really good response! Give it out with a nicest smile you have.
It will shut her up for sure, just keep the smiling on.

Kill it with kindness and faux concern for her -

"Susie, you've made a few comments about our ages recently. I wonder, are you worried about the fact we're all getting older?"

"Susie, you've mentioned our ages again. Is this bothering you?"

"Susie, do you think it matters that I'm 4 years older than you? I've noticed that no one else mentions it. It doesn't trouble me at all, but I'm a bit concerned that it bothers you so much. I wonder what makes it important to you"

Tell the others in the group that you're worried about her as she seems to have such an issue with something that's of no consequence

And when she claims she was just joking -

"but Susie, I don't think you were joking. You've raised it so many times"

"but you know I'm just a few years older than you. There's nothing funny in that. I'm worried that you have an issue with it"

"so, tell me then, what's funny about me being older than you?"

"OK, well I don't find it too funny myself, so I'd prefer that you stop. Are you OK with that?"

Yes, I am so glad to be aging… since the alternative is death

I’m 60. When my kids or family tease me about my age I just say, yes I’m old, and if you’re lucky you’ll get to this age too. It always shuts them down.

Oh, God you’re so old
And...?

Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people
Then don't/Feel free to not/Piss off then

Then there is my SiL who constantly refers to the fact I am 5 years older than her. Things like;

You are much older than me/I’m much younger than you
What exactly do you expect me to do about that?

Well, that’s because you are a lot older than me, I’m only 48, and you are 53
So?

Followed by Fuck off

But then I'm lots older than you and I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them at all

I know....same age as Pamela Anderson / Halle Berry / Salma Hayek / Kim Cattrall / Michelle Pfeiffer / Lucy Liu / Jennifer Lopez ..... insert name of any other glamorous woman whos aging well .... arent I in good company!!!

You could just respond with, "And?"

And if they say again they don't know if they can hang out wit you because you're so old, just say, "Don't then. See ya."

Could you say something like: "The best thing about being my age is that I couldn't give a fuck".

Where does it say is a WhatsApp group?

Mmm, like, you’ve never mentioned that before 🙄

My age is not an issue to me.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

"Jealousy is a bitch isn't it. How's the cosmetic surgeries going?".

Sincere kind voice; " are you really worried about getting older. Concerned because you mention everytime I see you... honestly don't worry, its great, i seem to have stopped giving a flying fuck about what other peoples opinions on me are, but I find just need to keep up the fitness levels up a notch.... if you need any tips, let me know...."

"Yes I'm older than you. But thank goodness I don't look as old as you"

Honestly I'd shut them up by not associating with them any more. I'm fifteen years older than two of my closest friends and five years older than another, and can safely say that I've never heard anything like you've described. They are not kind and don't deserve to be called friends!

I wouldn't stoop to their level. Just smile and say "oh darling that seems like you issue. I'm really not that insecure." If she continues then I add " if I get to the stage of worrying about it I'll get your surgeon's details from you" all with a smile.

Stop hanging out with them.

That's one great thing about getting older is purging useless people like that from your life