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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New partner hearing voices

207 replies

Jennybeans401 · 06/05/2024 08:35

I've been seeing someone for 6 months (I'm widowed and taking tentative steps dating). He knows I want to take things slow and its more companionship that we have at the moment. We get on very well and he's kind.

We went out last week and he opened up to me that he hears voices of "spirits" and sees people. He has always told me has an interest in the supernatural and I hadn't thought much more about it. The spirits are with him all the time and give him instructions (harmless like eating foods they enjoy, etc).

I've got three kids and I'm worried this would be strange for them. He's a really kind person but I'm considering ending it with him. He also doesn't work at the moment (been signed off).

OP posts:
Checkandbalenance · 06/05/2024 08:37

You can end it for any reason and no reason. Do what’s right for you. Good luck x

VickyEadieofThigh · 06/05/2024 08:37

I can understand your reservations and if it were me, would be concerned about his mental health.

Is it too intrusive of me to ask if that (mental health) is the reason he doesn't work?

CarryOnCharon · 06/05/2024 08:38

I would just break this off, personally, you have DCs and this sounds like it could bring you a world of trouble.

Iscreamtea · 06/05/2024 08:38

🚩🚩🚩

Original poster
Jennybeans401 · 06/05/2024 08:39

He said that he's off work temporarily due to a back problem but he doesn't speak about work. I run my own business and work is often on my mind do I find that strange.

OP posts:
Luxell934 · 06/05/2024 08:40

I've got three kids and I'm worried this would be strange for them.

Surely it’s strange for YOU let alone your kids that he’s hearing voices. It sounds like he has a mental health disorder to be honest.

canyouletthedogoutplease · 06/05/2024 08:41

Nope. Next.

Supersoakers · 06/05/2024 08:42

With kids in the mix I would say it’s more about his needs would start to impinge on your time for them. He will suck you dry.

whistleblower99 · 06/05/2024 08:42

No job and a clear mental disorder. Next.

gamerchick · 06/05/2024 08:45

If there weren't kids involved I would say enjoy your fill until it's not fun. But I wouldn't take that risk. Unemployed and sees spirits, he'll have his feet under the table leeching off you in no time.

ItsAllMadness24 · 06/05/2024 08:45

I'd 100% end this without a second thought. He is not hearing spirits he's got schizophrenia and sounds like hes in the middle of an episode currently. My daughters a mental health nurse working with schizophrenics and as much as I feel for the man, it's not someone I'd be continuing a new relationship with.

AsYouMightBe · 06/05/2024 08:47

You’re asking whether you should continue relationship with someone who has what sounds like a significant MH condition which doesn’t allow him to work?

Original poster
Jennybeans401 · 06/05/2024 08:47

ItsAllMadness24 · 06/05/2024 08:45

I'd 100% end this without a second thought. He is not hearing spirits he's got schizophrenia and sounds like hes in the middle of an episode currently. My daughters a mental health nurse working with schizophrenics and as much as I feel for the man, it's not someone I'd be continuing a new relationship with.

Edited

This is what I'm worried about,that he has schizophrenia or another serious mental health condition and that he's not being fully open with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jennybeans401 · 06/05/2024 08:48

AsYouMightBe · 06/05/2024 08:47

You’re asking whether you should continue relationship with someone who has what sounds like a significant MH condition which doesn’t allow him to work?

He said he has a back problem that prevents him from working temporarily.

OP posts:
thesunday · 06/05/2024 08:48

I know what I would do but how do you feel about it?

You say he’s kind and you’re getting on well and something along the lines of companionship. This wouldn’t be enough for me personally.

Bunniemalone · 06/05/2024 08:50

100%🚩Sadly he may have a MH disorder, which is a dreadful shame for him, but not your problem to take on. Also off work for the whole 6 months you have been seeing him? Sounds like hard work & its not your issue & quite honestly, after just 6 months I would step away quietly, before the voices decide he needs to move in with you & bleed you dry.

Original poster
Jennybeans401 · 06/05/2024 08:51

thesunday · 06/05/2024 08:48

I know what I would do but how do you feel about it?

You say he’s kind and you’re getting on well and something along the lines of companionship. This wouldn’t be enough for me personally.

I'm worried about the impact on my kids but I think I'd be happy to enjoy his company for a while otherwise.I totally agree it sounds weird though.

OP posts:
thesunday · 06/05/2024 08:51

And this isn’t a good sign, sorry: The spirits are with him all the time and give him instructions

Ellerby83 · 06/05/2024 08:51

Well it should be fairly obvious to you if he does have a back problem or not or if he is lying.

newyear2024 · 06/05/2024 08:54

Either he has some type of schizophrenia/psychosis OR he is a fantasist/attention seeker/bullshitter.

Either way you can't have someone like this in your children's lives.

x2boys · 06/05/2024 08:55

ItsAllMadness24 · 06/05/2024 08:45

I'd 100% end this without a second thought. He is not hearing spirits he's got schizophrenia and sounds like hes in the middle of an episode currently. My daughters a mental health nurse working with schizophrenics and as much as I feel for the man, it's not someone I'd be continuing a new relationship with.

Edited

And that makes you an expert?
I didn't realise that when I qualified as a mental health nurse back in the 90 s that my mother also qualified by virtue of me being her daughter ?
He night be having a psychotic episode and the Op can end the relationship for what ever reason she wants but the atm chair diagnosis, on here are ridiculous.

Original poster
Jennybeans401 · 06/05/2024 08:56

The instructions he gets from the spirits seem fairly harmless but I'd be concerned that it might change in the future.Id started getting up hopes that he was going to be part of our lives up until he opened up about the voices.

OP posts:
User364837 · 06/05/2024 08:56

It’s a No from me

canyouletthedogoutplease · 06/05/2024 08:58

This really is the point where you must realise that a relationship with him has got waking nightmare written all over it for you and your children, and end it. Honestly. Join a club, there are nice kind people everywhere to spend time with.

Repeat after me,
he hears voices,
he's got no job.

susiedaisy1912 · 06/05/2024 08:58

What back problems is he supposed to have op? If it's genuine he should know exactly what wrong with his back. But as others have said I think it's MH

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