New partner hearing voices

[Jennybeans401]

I've been seeing someone for 6 months (I'm widowed and taking tentative steps dating). He knows I want to take things slow and its more companionship that we have at the moment. We get on very well and he's kind.

We went out last week and he opened up to me that he hears voices of "spirits" and sees people. He has always told me has an interest in the supernatural and I hadn't thought much more about it. The spirits are with him all the time and give him instructions (harmless like eating foods they enjoy, etc).

I've got three kids and I'm worried this would be strange for them. He's a really kind person but I'm considering ending it with him. He also doesn't work at the moment (been signed off).

Definitely not a keeper. Either a serious mental health problem or he's very gullible. Either way I'd be running a mile. Do not inflict this man on your kids.

Someone I was friends with as a child as schizophrenia and often hallucinates. She tells people that she is out of work temporarily because she has various illnesses from back pain to cancer but in reality she has never worked for longer than 3 weeks at a time and is in and out of hospital.

If he does have a serious mental illness than it can be quite hard to live with as a partner ,even if they are well there is always a chance of relapse, its up to you wether you want to carry on with the relationship

I would urge him to seek medical help and to be properly assessed.

I have a friend with schizophrenia. His voices can be kind and harmless. Then they tell him to stab people and he needs sectioning. He can present very harmlessly whilst wanting to stab people, the disconnect is really scary to see.

Have you seen proof he is off work with a back problem? No thought not.

Please don’t do this to yourself and your children.

Sorry- has schizophrenia

Nope, sorry this is too much of a risk.

He may seem harmless and the voices may be telling him to do harmless things at the moment, but what if an evil spirt appears one day that tell him to hurt you and/or your children?

There are many nice normal men out there, do not take a risk with this one. You would be much better off single. A lot of women and children are hurt by men who don’t give off as many red flags as this one. When you see him wave those flags, take notice.

He is not hearing spirits he's got schizophrenia

This is irresponsible posting. I am a consultant psychiatrist and there is no way enough info here to diagnose this illness. You can hear voices in a range of mental illnesses. And they usually are a certain kind of voice in schizophrenia. Please don’t make rash comments like this. Your daughter working in the field does not give you diagnostic abilities.

He's drip feeding.

it'll only get worse.

He's hearing voices. That is a major MH concern. My adult nephew has schizophrenia and it's ruined his life. It still has a huge impact upon his parents lives. If you're early into a relationship I'd leave it and look for someone without that baggage.

Did you not realise you were on a discussion board? You know where people post and others give opinions based on their experience and life lessons? Pretty sure having heard many, many similar stories that I can take a guess the man has mental health issues rather than speaking to spirits, nowhere did I say I was an expert, so wind your neck in.

He has also mentioned he has autism, 2 of my dcs have autism so I totally understand how this can effect him. I've not mentioned this as didn't think it was related but can autism cause hearing voices?

Well okay maybe I shouldn't have labelled anything but in your opinion would you think he has a mental health issue or is he speaking to spirits and more importantly as per the op, should she continue to date him when she has children she's concerned about and he's also not worked in six months.

One day those voices may tell him to inflict harm on you and your family. Is it worth the risk?

Re the bad back, is it apparent? Does it stop him doing normal daily activities? If no, why isn't he working?

You have a cocklodger in your midst, a potentially dangerous one at that.

You need to extract yourself carefully from this situation. I think you've been very naive.

No job and mentally ill? Why would you even consider taking this further than one date.

I dint think any professional can say based on the limited information, I used to be a mental health nurse i would say he needs to be assessed, I would be wary of any new relationship particularly with children clearly the Op has concerns, and it's up to her wether she carry, s on with the relationship, she can end the relationship for any reason.

You said he has schizophrenia ,you are not qualified to say that regardless of wether your daughter is a mental health nurse or not in fact nobody on here can based on the very limited information so wind your own neck in.

In the nicest possible way …. The hills are that way.

Have you asked for more details about his back problem? Six months seems like a long time to be 'temporarily' off work, unless he's had surgery or has some kind of degenerative issue. It could be he's not being fully open with you and the back problems are only part of the reason he is off work. What kind of work is he in and does he have an action plan to help him go back?

At a 6 month mark, I think it's only fair you know exactly what you're dealing with.

He's got mental ill health and is in denial about it.

That's a real shame but you don't
Need that responsibility in your life when you have children.

Yes as pp says, absolutely classic symptoms of schizophrenia. When I studied it, the voices are described as an inability to tell between 'outer' voices and 'inner' voices. So the voice he here's is actually his own internal monologue which he is attributing to spirits because he can't tell the difference. It's all harmless enough if the voices are just reminding him to brush his teeth but not when they are telling him you are cheating, stealing his things. The symptoms tend to cluster with paranoia and delusions being other 'active' symptoms. He needs to be on antipsychotics.

My daughter is autistic and has lots of visual and auditory hallucinations- another explaination for it.

So his back problem and work... let's focus on that as he seems to have glossed over it and just says it's temporary.

What does he do for work? Something that would be impacted by a bad back?
If you show an interest in that eg 'sounds like a lot of training' or 'you must meet some characters in that job' can he talk about it believably?
How long has he been off work? When does he expect to get back to it? What treatment is he having for his back? Have you noticed it limiting him when you are together?

He might be a gullible guy with a genuine back problem and be back at work next month.
He could be a gullible work shy guy with a fake back problem so he can claim benefits.
He could be a schizophrenic pretending to be a medium with a back problem as a cover story.

But he's been off work with his back problem for six months. That's not looking temporary. So what else of what he has told you isn't true?

Too complicated for a widowed Mum of three. I’d take it no further than friendship with him.

I mean…none of the reasons for hearing voices are
good though, let’s face it.

OP don’t waste further time here. Run.